A Nagging Need
Hello WA!
For the past year I have been less and less inclined to do anything more than minimal work online. It all started with moving in Oct. 2012. My 91yo mom does not want to leave her house and is simply too old and infirm to be by herself. A woman,(who lived with us 40 years ago as a foster child) showed up after all that time and needed a place to live. I didn't think it was a good idea because she is a drug addict (of the worst kind) but my bleeding heart brother told her she could move in with mom. Well, suffice to say any scenario you can conjure up pretty much happened as a result - from her being a drunken/drugged out complete mess yelling at mom to stealing from her. I was waiting for my predictions to play out and my brother to do the dirty work of getting rid of her. It took him a few months but he finally did it. In the meantime, Mom would call and I would come to her aid (my brother lives in Germany so easy for him to make this decision). Why didn't I get rid of her...it's a sibling thing...
So, come Oct 2012, I moved in with mom. Thank God we get along, but for me it's like having a kid. It really crunched my time for a while between moving and setting myself up in her house and taking care of her and working my own business offline (professional organizing). Bottom line, I got out of the habit of learning, reading, working on sites, writing posts, and socializing, which took the worst hit and is my deepest regret. The lack of connection really shows how out of touch I have become with my friends here (as well as my rank but I know I can get that back - Hoping I can get the friends back as well.)
Okay, so why all this sharing? Because I need some oversight. I need helping getting back and staying on track. I feel like by the time I have any time left for myself on any given day, I'm too tired to sit at a computer and think. (I'm no spring chicken but am a bundle of energy during the day...just have little to no energy left in the evenings we're talking after 8 p.m.) Before my move, I could devote 12-16 hours to online work on a day "off". Now, there are no days off. My daily schedule changes week to week depending client needs and then there's taking care of mom every day. So I think it's time for a lifestyle lift.
That means finding time to regularly devote to online endeavors and using that time in the most efficient and effective way possible. It means getting back on track by combing the trainings to re-learn and learn new, and it means not being put off by the mental obstacle that tells me I have so much catching up to do and so precious little time it's daunting. I need to learn to work fast and smart given that I do not have big chunks of time any more.
When I was socializing here and other places with WA member groups outside of WA, I felt like I was on a roll and it all had to do with the support of WA members. You all are the best group of people on the net. I haven't visited WA much in all this time. Here and there for definite purposes but only a handful of times to connect with people. Despite that, some members have helped me thru some tech trouble and I am eternally grateful that they are always there and always helpful.
I need to come here every day and work - on my; sites, trainings, writing, posting, chatting, but mostly working. I need to set goals and focus. I have ideas to implement and lots of work to do.
Thus, I Need a Nag! At least one...possibly more...hahahaha
Seriously though, I really need people to help pull me back in and get me going, motivated, and moving forward. I can feel how close it is but I also hear that nasty little voice persuading me that it's all too much. I know the hardest part of writing is the first line...that blank page stares back at you without giving any incentive or support. I think that's where I'm at with my online tasks. Blogger's Block.
I don't blame anyone for not reading this whole thing... have been wanting to get this out for a while. Thanks for reading if you got this far and for any support you give me.
Recent Comments
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Hi Renni,
It's nice to see you. Some great responses below.
Both my parents are in the UK and only in their late 50's, but I can somewhat understand what you're saying as I know a few other people who have been and are going through similar situations.
It maybe hard, but if possible, try and give yourself 60 minutes during the day to focus on nothing but yourself.
If you can, spend that hour working at building your business and getting motivated again, set some achievable goals and reward yourself.
If you hadn't mentioned wanting to get motivated again, I would of recommend spending that hour doing something you enjoy doing that is stress free.
Craig
Hi Craig. Good to hear from you! You're right, I could use some down time to take a breath. Perhaps if I schedule in some focus time and take on only one web project at a time I could get more done. I actually got irritated at myself last weekend cuz I took on a graphic project for my church's tri-fold brochure (I just couldn't let them use an awful brochure design this fly-by-night company made them) and I create their newsletter each month which was also due by Tuesday...and got both done (well some more to do on the brochure but it's mostly there) and found that when I was under the gun I found the time. (I didn't work my offline job last weekend.) I accomplished a lot...now to do that for me. It was hard as I worked long hours on it between everything else but the point is, I found the time I needed. When I have an hour here and there it's hard to focus cuz by the time I'm on a roll, the hour is up. But I had clear goals...so that's one thing I need...and momentum cuz once on a roll it is easier to tackle the next task...whatever that is...in the next hour I have free...and the next...and the next...etc.
Thanks for commenting...you youngin' you!
(I'm your parents age...LOL)
Hi Renni! I have not experienced what you've gone through however; can tell you that this too shall pass. . . . You are strong, resilient and are on the road to recovering your lost momentum simply by writing your feelings out and posting for all of us to read! You've take a huge step my friend and you are going to be just fine! :-)
Thanks softwind, Thanks for the confirmation and the uplifting character traits you attributed to me. It helps remind me that I can get back on the right road to where I want to be. Just what I needed...
I actually read all of the blog, because I can relate.
The reality of this is the post below by Mama.
We will be here to lean on, and always remember nothing in this world is permanent,
I try to get the best out of every experience and day.
So nice to hear from you, Shawn. Thanks for commenting. I do get a lot out of each day and lots of it is good...just pulled away from my focus here and elsewhere online. Going to make every effort from this day forward to get back on track.
I have done the same as you are with my parents… gave up my career to help them and thankful that I did…. Mom has now passed, and Dad is still grieving terribly for her… so I feel your pain… He will not be around much longer as he simply wants to be with her.
BUT… we must also continue to support ourselves and have income… For me, that's where WA fits in so nicely with the necessity to take care of family and loved ones… Career Flexibility. You will find your rhythm between your Mom and your work… there is a balance to be explored that will work with your schedule.
Keep me posted on your progress. Will be glad to help along the way… Julie
Thank you so much, Julie. I have to get my sea legs back and your comment tells me I can. I know what you are saying about your dad. I will keep him in my prayers. Must be awful to lose someone like our parents did after so many years (assuming here).
I am definitely exploring a new schedule...lol
Thanks again,
Ann Marie
Hello Renni, I understand where you are coming from. Most of my life has been dedicated to taking care of one family member or another. At one time I was trying to take care of 3 households, the meds, the cleaning, the shopping, the doctors appointments, all while working a full time job. Needless to say, only the highest priority of things got done. You have to do what you have to do.
I will never regret the time spent with and helping my family members. Those members are all gone now and I miss them. When you finally have time for yourself it is hard to have the motivation to do what needs to be done. Be glad you still have your Mom and though distant, your brother.
Just dedicate some time for working on your re-learning, new training, blogging and try to just do something. As you have said, the hardest part of writing is that first line. If you can't think of anything that sounds good, just write down anything silly that comes to your mind. You can always erase it but it may help you to think of something else. I don't know your faith and am not preaching to you but you will definitely be in my prayers. Take care.
Hey teacup! Actually the 'first line' comment was a metaphor for all the things I need to do to get back on track but I get what you are saying. Thanks for the support.
I am a Christian and welcome all prayers :) so preach away! LOL
I just spent the day going thru the first part (including all links) in the Get Started tab. I had the day off and figured that even tho I have gone way beyond that, I could use the refresher. I did learn a thing or two as well and that was a good way to spend the day (on and off... :)
I am sorry you have lost some many loved ones. It gets more difficult with each loss and I give you my sympathies for that. I do appreciate the time I get to spend with mom - and she loves having me here taking care of her. I must be doing a pretty good job too cuz lately everyone is commenting on how good she looks...this after the last hospital stay for cracked vertebrae just before the holidays. I didn't let them take her to rehab this time...she rehabbed at home cuz I wanted her to be home for Christmas and not stuck in some rehab facility.
I hope you are doing well and if I can help you or anybody for that matter, I hope y'all don't hesitate to ask.
Family issues can knock the stuffing out of you. I've done caregiving with both parents. I truly acknowledge and give you all kinds of stars for what you're doing. Any chance you can hire a relief caregiver one or two days a week?
I'll come by here periodicallynand give you a nudge. Stop by and give me one too--I've made procrastination into an art form!
Good luck!
Thank you, Affiliateer! I think I've made an artform out of procrastinating as well....it goes like this...when I have something pressing that I don't want to do, I find a few of the million things on my plate and get them done...that way, I'm still productive and don't have to berate myself so much cuz I can say...yeah, but look at all the things I DID get done...lol
Nudge me and I'll nudge you!
Keep in touch...
Hi Renni. I got to the end of your post too and can see why it's difficult to get into any sort of routine, but given your offline business - I looked at your lessmessstress site - you are clearly good at organising, so, by writing this post you have at least made a great start.
Just a heads up - did you know that your healthyweightloss site needs renewing?
Bye for now - will keep in touch.
Hi Granny!
Thanks for checking out my lessmessstress site.
Yeah, that was the idea behind writing this post...had to start getting back into all this somehow and figured this would help. And it has! especially by connecting me with those who are responding...which I truly appreciate.
I am letting go of a few of my sites...had them way too long and want to rethink a few things and they were just weighing on me. I guess I have to figure out all the ways I've tied them to other parts of the net and get rid of the links etc...like at Street Articles...Yikes!
Thanks for keeping in touch.
Hello Renni, I read the whole post! It sounds as if you have gone through the mill recently. I understand so well about needing a 'nag'. You know exactly what you need to do, it's just that motivation isn't it? I've been there... I am more than happy to help in any way I can to help you get back on track - oh, btw I'm an expert nagger!
Take care and good luck
Jackie
x
Thanks, Jackie! I'll count on you to help keep me moving forward! :)
It is the motivation above all...and all the things I need to learn and re-learn...geez...with all my time constraints, I am a tad overwhelmed. The little I shared is really just the tip of the iceberg but I'd have to write a book for the rest...lol
Just knowing people are here and listening and willing to engage helps immensely.
Gotta go get dinner ready.
Take care and nag me, please!
See more comments
Hi Renni,
I truly can appreciate what you're going through right now. I think it's great that you're taking care of your mom. My parents are getting up there in age too, so this will be in my future much more often. Right now I'm needed occasionally to help out with bringing them to appointments or shopping mostly, and a few other odds and ends.
Last year, I was also helping an aunt and uncle at times, since my uncle was very ill and my aunt needed help, which ate up even more time. But, I wouldn't change that for the world.
Anyways, I know it's hard to get back into the focus of working on your own things online, especially if you feel like you're so far behind you'll never catch up. You will.
Write a list of what you need to do for each week and break it down into smaller tasks or steps to complete each goal. Then break those down into tasks you could do each day. Mark each task off as you get them done. It helps me to see it in writing and that as I get them done they're checked off.
If you could find even an hour each day to set aside for yourself that would help a lot. It's that much more done towards your goal and it adds up by the end of a week.
Hope all goes well with you, and I can be a nag. You can nag back at me too, since I have a tendency to get sidetracked it seems, lol. :) -Sherry
Hi Freedomseekr,
It is so good of you and others in these comments to help family out when they're needed. Before this I didn't go full blown on meals most of the time...just grabbed something so to speak most days so I could keep going on my projects. That's a luxury now but you're right, family first and foremost.
Sound advice from you and others here. I need to figure out what the next thing is that I need to concentrate on and write up a game plan then take it one step at a time. I'm a great list keeper and love checking things off as completed so at least I know how to do that already.
I think I'm having a dilemma on where to start so I have to brainstorm some ideas and make them more concrete and then go about them systematically.
Thanks for your reply to my post. Truly appreciate it.