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Last Update: March 22, 2015

'Help yourself by helping another'

A meaningful (un)asked favor often brings you three important advantages:

  1. people like you more
  2. people want to pay you back in one way or another
  3. it gives you a good feeling if you help someone else

This three advantages will help your confidence grow, both in your career as in daily life. It is known that if people like you, they also think positively about you. As people think positive about you, they will share their opinion with others, for example with neighbours, colleagues or with your boss.

Halo Effect

If people like you, they also add other responsive and valuable features to your personality. This effect is called the halo effect, discovered by the psychologist Edward Thorndike. The opposite of the halo effect is the horn effect. If people like you, they think you're also capable for other tasks and are more likely to recommend you if someone seeks for a specific expertise. You will be seen as a competent person.

Reciprocity

People do not want to be in debt. When you grant someone an unasked and meaningful favor, it makes them think they owe you something. This principle is called reciprocity. Reciprocity means that people feel a social obligation to give something back to you, otherwise they will think that they steal from you.

The principle of reciprocity has its origins in the time when the course of trade was based on barter. People had to trust each other if they do something for someone else, the other person would do something back for them. For example, the baker give bread to the shoemaker, and the shoemaker will make shoes in return. Although barter no longer exists, the principle of reciprocity is still in everyday use. For example, we ask someone for a return visit after visiting this person.

The nice thing about the reciprocity principle is that you often can ask for a somewhat larger favor than you gave initially, like a kind of interest for the favor you once have granted. But don't wait too long asking for a return favor, otherwise the other don't remember it anymore.

Feel Good

It's obvious that you feel good when you get something, however you feel much better when you give something away. Granting a favor is the same as giving away something. Doing so for someone else will increase your self respect and subsequently your self-confidence.

Self-Confidence

When you have self-confidence, you think and present yourself positively. Others, like colleagues and managers perceive positive people in general as pleasant to deal with. The halo effect let your manager think you're a capable employee and give you more important tasks and higher wages.

'Help yourself by helping another' is exactly what Wealthy Affiliate is all about.

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Kerjackie Premium
Hi, Despatis, I loved reading your post, all about positive behavior, how to help each other, being generous, help yourself, to be able to help another, I wish everyone in this planet could be like that, let's spread the halo effect around us.
Thank you for such generous thoughts.
Jacqueline
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despatis Premium
Hi Jacqueline, thanks for your positive feedback, most appreciated. Please remember what Mother Teresa once said: "It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving."

Great weekend,
Desmond
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Kerjackie Premium
Yes, Desmond, It is so true, what Mother Teresa said.
Have a wonderful week.
Jacqueline
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Trujunco Premium
Desmond ,
I know I have pushed like before on this post but truly, I am inspired not only by it's content but a sense of well-being that I can feel coming from message.
There are many wonderful posts, only a few have an energy that goes beyond words...this thought is blessed. Thank-you
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despatis Premium
Hi David,
Thanks again for your kind comment. Helping means providing service to someone in need without expecting anything in return what gives you a sense of pride and fulfillment which is the very essence of being human.
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I have an Ass in Psychology which in the scheme of things doesn't really get you any high paying jobs. But the concept WAn is using here is quite true and very on the money. As a !matter of fact they use a lot of psychological tactics to help people or I should say have the community get involved in helping each other. It's beautiful to. Keeps communication up. Sharing is constant, ideas flow, and everybody is always ready with a helping hand, uplifting word when your ready to throw in the proverbial towl. I like this site ( though I've come to see it as so much more than a mere site) more and more. It has an integrity I've not seen in anything on the internet in years even though you can subscribe to it.
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Helping others does something to us physically and mentally that keeps us healthy and makes us feel good.
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despatis Premium
Yep Michelle, I believe that helping others is not only good for them and a good thing to do, it also makes us happier and healthier too. 'Help yourself by helping another' is indeed what Wealthy Affiliate is all about.

Thanks for reading and your comprehensive comment, much appreciated.

All the best,
Desmond
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eosegueraf Premium
I love your comment Michelle. WA community has become my virtual family and friends.
Eugenio
https://suppliesfororganicagriculture.com
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Thank you Desmond very much!!!
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accad Premium
Thank you for sharing this article.
Many have insecurities in life depending on the factors and environment where they are and raised. I, for instance when we were young lived in the far flung areas that seemed to be unreachable because there were no roads and is so far from the nearest town.
The tendencies I have is to keep silent, just think and reflect by myself. I only rise to speak when I see and feel there is a need.
It's such a difficult thing but I am overcoming it until this time and age.
But true, we should be confident as long as we are sure of one thing that would help everyone. Knowing the truth of a thing is something that can build this value.
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despatis Premium
Thanks for sharing Jimmie and your positive feedback. "If you want to go fast, go alone ~ If you want to go far, go together."

Have a nice weekend,
Desmond
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ELeslie Premium
Hello Desmond, this is a truth I have just proven a matter of about 30 minutes ago.

A few days ago someone found one of my links in the thread and read my post. The person commented on the post and then sent me a PM to inform me and asked for a return comment.

I acknowledged the PM with a promise of a return as I could not do it straight away, due to issues I am having with my site.

I did the return today and whilst I was there on this site I noticed a few things needing correcting.

I sent the same PM with an apology and informing of my returned comment. I also indicated the corrections needed.

I felt, like you said here, I wanted to do something extra because I could not reciprocate the same day I got the person's comment.

Thanks for your post that explains the why of my action in a way I have not seen written in a post before.

Regards,

EJ
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despatis Premium
Hi EJ, I believe that helping others is not only good for them and a good thing to do, it also makes us happier and healthier too. 'Help yourself by helping another' is also what Wealthy Affiliate is all about.

Thanks for reading and your comprehensive comment, much appreciated.

Have a great weekend,
Desmond
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ELeslie Premium
Thank you Desmond and the very same to you.

EJ
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AfqmBiz Premium
I have no specific expertise but I feel blessed due to my own competent nature in any given day.

To back you up of your competency, of course, few little details in certain aspect and element need to be there also as the companionship.

Desmond elaborate brilliantly over here! Just find out yourself the right substitute if one here is missing from your armor and make it up in your own rights in order to help people in different capacities.

Thanks, Desmond, this is very helpful my friend!

*A friend or friendship is not limited to any age, any race, any belief, any philosophy, and almost anything.
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despatis Premium
Hi Afqm, I believe that helping others is not only good for them and a good thing to do, it also makes us happier and healthier too. 'Help yourself by helping another' is also what Wealthy Affiliate is all about.

Thanks for reading and your comprehensive comment, much appreciated.

Have a great Sunday,
Desmond
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AfqmBiz Premium
Anytime, Sir! I savor this kind of moment and looking forward to being more involve in others good works in the future.

Chill, Learn, Help, & aspire to success.
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TheBuilder Premium
Hi dear. To keep you going, I've prepared a Dose of Encouragement specially for you and for all my other loved ones. Here it is: Hope you will appreciate it.
Have a nice day.
Best Regards
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despatis Premium
Great posting Umsizi, well done!

Desmond
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TheBuilder Premium
Thank you my dear. Thanks for reading. You are so kind.
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Tezsie Premium
Hi Desmond, I think your post is a neat combination of good advice and uplifting words.
Helping others comes to me naturally. I think I inherited it from my grandma. She often said: ¨oh, it´s nothing, really¨. I don´t think it´s nothing, and your post points that out well.
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despatis Premium
Dear Tessa, thanks for your positive feedback, most appreciated. As Mother Teresa once said: "It's not how much we give but how much love we put into giving." Have a great weekend, Desmond.
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CristinaMM Premium
Hello Desmond,

Great post you wrote here. It feels so good when you can help others and it feels even better to see them happy. I just love that I meet so many positive people here on WA, all with the same passion as mine: online business.

Is very good to share your thoughts with someone that is in the same field. We are a community here and in the end all of us will win if we help each other.

Have an amazing day ahead,
Cristina
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despatis Premium
You're most welcome Cristina, thanks for reading and for your kind comment, much appreciated.

Have a great day,
Desmond
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stephhill Premium
Hi Desmond!

This is a great post and I love the idea of the halo effect. It represents what we should all be doing here at WA! I have heard of the works of Edward Thorndike and it is interesting that he came up with the philosophy of halo effect.....

Thank you for your post and for sharing!

Steph
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despatis Premium
Most welcome Steph, thanks for reading and for your kind comments, much appreciated.

Have a great weekend,
Desmond
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