Eye Contact Can Be Awkward!
First impressions are very important and eye contact is one of the best ways to leave a lasting impact.
With that said, all that emphasis on eye contact and first impressions most likely isn’t helping you stay calm, cool, and collected. You begin to sweat and you may even feel like you want to throw up all that delicious buffet. Making eye contact seems to be in a special space where people simultaneously know what is happening and are completely unable to do anything about it to make things better. You feel like running out of the room!!
So, what can we do to get past this awkwardness?
First, don’t be that person who stares deeply into the other person's eyes the entire time with minimal blinking. Too much eye contact is just as bad, if not worse than limited eye contact. Creepy!!!
But you also don’t want to go to the other extreme and pick some random object to keep looking at when you don’t know where to direct your gaze. I once met someone who spent the entire time looking at my purse—and talking to my purse. That was very awkward and certainly did not make a great first impression.
Is there a happy medium? Well, I choose to think so. Here is a trick that I learned from Dale Carnegie. Look at the other person's eyes long enough to register what color they are before looking away. For some reason, this amount of time feels natural—and effectively mimics those lucky non-awkward people who can do this naturally.
If eye contact is something you really struggle with, it can be hard to go from active avoidance to being the perfect and always present conversationalist. To ease the transition, try to focus on making eye contact when you are the listener in the conversation. Since you don't need to worry about what you’re going to say next, you can spend more of your effort on eye contact. Once you get the hang of it, you can move on to making a bigger effort when you’re the speaker.
With a little bit of practice, you’ll be able to make eye contact for the right amount of time during introductions or conversations and can focus on the rest such as relaxing your shoulders, and smiling. And before you know it, everything will become second nature.
Relax, smile and have a fabulous day, friends!!
Recent Comments
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When I was young, it was very difficult for me. Over the years I have gotten much better......lots of practice ;-)
Sometimes I have no trouble at all with eye contact and sometimes it is very uncomfortable and awkward! I don't know if it is due to my mood that day and how confident (or not confident) I am feeling or if it is something about the other person. I have noticed with certain people I feel comfortable from the first meeting and have no trouble at all! Maybe it is a combination of my mood that day and the person I am talking to! Usually when I know someone I have no trouble at all.
I have always had that same issue, but I don't think it is our mood. I think it is who we are speaking with. Sometimes people stare back and are very intimidating and that just pushes/scares me away. Other people that I have had meetings with are very comfortable right from the very beginning. :-)
Incredible blog, Diane, better than TV any day!!!
Great solution as well, I often struggle with this problem.....
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I am not afraid for eye-contact :) I always look people in the eyes
That's great!! I am able to do it, too! But.....depending on who I am speaking with, sometimes it creeps me out when people give me the total stare down. LOL
Haha, Loes, you remind me of my school principal years back. Strict and fear.
Must be the influence of my dad then, he was principal:)
OK, Now I understand.