Bullied Bus Monitor..Assault on the elderly
To berate an adult, anyone, so viciously. Cold, callous, without concern. Calling her a troll, fat, dumb, ugly. Speaking of sexual things I cannot mention. That they would urinate and defecate on her doorstep. Telling her she should be dead, or if they were her child they would kill themselves (when in fact her son had took his own life 10 years ago). Poking her, prodding her. A defenseless old woman, who our youth should respect!
This is, as I have seen and witnessed in my chosen career, is not so shocking. I have worked with fellow nurses, aides, facility workers, administrators, you name it...every title in the system caring for the elderly. The growing trend toward their care is not what you would think, as compassionate and loving. It is exactly what you see on that video of Karen Kline in the bus. Oh, it is covert, not so blatant. And it is a few, not the majority. The culture is like that bus. The majority want to help, say something, stop what's happening. But don't. Then more join in the bullying, because it is accepted. Pretty soon it becomes the norm. Swept under the rug, because the victim deserves it, they are just a "crazy old coot" or "old hag". They get labeled the problem. But the problem is basic.
Lack of compassion for our fellow human being. This starts at home.
Our elderly are easy victims. The weapon we can use to fight these perpetrators is our own demonstration of love, care and empathy for each other. Altruism is becoming extinct.
I know Karen Kline was working in this job as a fully functioning adult, not an elder in someone's care.
However, the parallels I see in what happened to her and what is happening to our aged and infirm are startling. And these children are our future?
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Hi Amy
You and i will probably have to agree to disagree. I agree that there is a sense of entitlement among many children - but I stand by my comment in my fourth point that there are still more good children than bad.
If it was the other way round - there would be many more cases of children in prison, more assults on teachers in school and in public places. You would see very much more delnquency in the streets and in public places on an every day basis than you do. There would be even more horrifying cases of bullying (and there are too many) and there would be many, many more criminal acts than there are. There are too many cases of children not respecting their elders on a lots of different levels but as proportion of the whole - do the bad really hold so much more sway than the good.
Even if there are many incidents that go unreported and there always will be - take the number of children in a population of criminal responsibility - divide it by the number of incidents - even factor in those that go unreported - I still stand by my view that at the moment there are more good children than bad.
I'm not saying that couldn't change - it could but I don't believe it has yet.
What I see is apathy. Which leads to acceptance of the behavior as norm. It's everywhere and growing. I do not have a "doom and gloom" mentality, but what I have witnessed (my oldest beaten at age 12 by a 14 year old while 17 year old boys held my younger daughter so she couldn't run to get help. A crowd of probably 30 school children, all ages, gawking at the "entertainment".) is very telling. My kids weren't targets of bullys, but that day one was. Lucky she wasn't killed.
Our society just doesn't care anymore.
Bis makes some very valid points. However, one of the reasons many of our societies have taken a soft approach, is because it has become to easy, for brats like this and their parents who are obviously lacking or at least slacking in the disciplines dept., to sue someone for standing up for themselves. Here's the long and the short of it, there are no excuses for that kind of behavior toward any other person, especially, our elders and everyone from police, to school officials to the actual parents themselves should be held accountable to taking proper measures to correct that type of idiotic behavior.
These particular kids may not be "our future" but they dern sure are a part of the future and if it isn't dealt with properly it will only become worse as these kids grow older and at some point instead of just making derogatory statements they will be following through with their threats. Sorry, but this shouldn't be tolerated to any degree whatsoever, there doesn't need to be any psychoanalysis, no slap on the wrist or humble pleas of "now don't ya'll do that anymore" Nope, they need a good ole fashioned kick in the you know what. We haven't just spared the rod in this country, we have buried so deep, that archaeologists couldn't find with a map and an X marks the spot.
We have not just become soft, we have become spoiled rotten and self serving.
For what it's worth, but it's just my opinion.
I have to stand by my point. I've raised children the past 20 years. Worked in healthcare the past 18 near 19 now. It really is becoming the majority of children. Because as in a crime, if you are just "at the bank robbery" but didn't "hold up the teller", you are still an accessory. The children who sat and did nothing were complicit, as afraid as they may have been. I could go on and on...just a sad and telling state of our society today.
Just want to put my fist down each of their throats. Such an infuriating video. Made me sick to see them touch her, this another good reason to have a conceal to carry.
Makes me wonder what the youth are actually learning. Is this what some people want the youth to become. If it keeps going this direction, its not really hard to imagine a society that rids itself of the elderly
You just creeped me out with your last sentence. Did you read my post below about how my father was treated?
You are exactly right about our society "ridding itself of the elderly" mentality. The good news is, the elderly are increasing in number at a rapid rate thanks to the baby boomer generation :)
Walk softly and carry a big stick...(just in case)
Hi Amy
I think there were lots of interesting things coming out of this film.
1. It wasn't all the children it was some of the children.
2. The children involved clearly had limited moral compass to behave like that. They clearly thought they could get away with it - and at that time they were. .
3. There were 2 adults on that bus who allowed the situation to continue. Karen stayed seated - she didnt call out to the bus driver - she didn't really do anything to stand up to the behaviour. I'm not criticising her for that - because she was in a horrible situation but many of our societies have increasinly taken a more softly softly approach to unacceptable behaviour.
4. I don't believe those children are 'our tuture' because although sometimes it doesn't seem like it there are many more good than bad. But it may mean that more of us have to stand up and be counted if the balanace does not tip the other way.
I removed my comment and replaced it with this. Maybe I could have put what I meant differently.
Hi Beverley!
Thank you for your comments. Your points are valid. However, I have to disagree with the last one.
I have 4 children. 2 "biological", age 19 & 16. 2 "step" age 9 & 6. So I have first hand witness to parenting the past 20 years.
Our society, with its emphasis on "me", "I", "now" has provided an entitlement attitude that is prevalent in the majority, not the minority. Children are increasingly left alone to entertain themselves with un-filtered tv, video games, and computer access. Parents have the "not my child" mentality. They are afraid to actually BE the adult, for fear of crushing their child's ego.
I have made mistakes (too numerous to mention) in parenting. I don't stand here as the authority. But my kids definately have respect for all people, especially those in charge or those with "special needs". They have been the one to "stand up" and stop bullying when it was happening. I instilled this in them at a young age, because I myself was brutalized for years. There was NO WAY my child was going to do that to another human being.
It seems that somewhere along the way the youth have lost the respect that many of us were taught to have for our elders. I have seen it first hand with my 19-yo step daughter. She was in the hospital, yet again, for pains a BS situation I will not go into here, and her dad called her on Fathers Day to see how she was doing. All she could do was complain about how much pain she was in, how she was dieing and that she was pissed at us because we didn't go to visit.
Did she wish her dad a Happy Fathers Day? Of course not, she was too obsessed with how "she" was feeling and how the world should revolve around her. I personally nor my husband would never have talked to our parents the way she did to him but thats because we were raised differently.
I do not know what has happened to todays youth, but its become scary. No respect, and the sense that everything should be handed to them on a silver platter, without putting the time and effort in to work. All I can say is it seriously has me scared for the future.
It sounds like "The Lord of the Flies" mentality. Pick on the weak, the vulnerable. Truly sad and disheartening. My own father ( who was with a cane), slipped and fell on the hard concrete in front of a drugstore. Many people walked right by him, looked at him and kept right on walking. No one offered him a helping hand, asked if he was okay or showed any concern at all. Can you imagine that? It broke our hearts to think of him just lying there.
Too many self-absorbed, narcissistic, "it's all about me" attitudes today. That had to come from somewhere...their Parents.
I am not suprised Meredith, about your father. Everyone has their face in their phones, or the clouds. I'm so sorry that happened!
It is unbelievable to me that another human of any age would treat another human being in such a horrific and callous manner. The future ain't looking too bright.
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As for experiences, I used to get picked on when riding the school bus, but by far, the worst experience I had was in a car pool. I used to ride from Waterville, Maine down to Bath where I worked at Bath Iron Works, a shipyard that catered to the US Navy and we built the ships.
I have always been ostracized because I do stand out as someone who is very different and not always an active participant in a group.
This doesn't sit very well with folks who are insecure or unhappy with themselves and must build themselves up to be accepted in the group (so they think many times.)
Bullies are just this way.
I've encountered many...sometimes receiving severe taunting and beating in isolated places where I happened to be passing through...or in a workplace. When adults to this, it's much worse because they are more capable than children.
We all know kids can be really cruel too...for the exact same reasons above.
There was one single individual on that van that had always been sarcastic with me and asking me provocative questions.
To the uneducated and unrefined folks up there (and anywhere) I appeared a threat in some way because I did not partake in the vile conversation in the van.
I've fallen asleep (either to or from work) and have fallen over, resting against this individual, to be elbowed in the side of the head. One day someone in the vn asked me where I was going for the holiday (I believe this was thanksgiving time.
There are people on there about my age, but most were older, in their middle ages. There was one near-elderly person on there.
When this "George" guy heard I was going to Massachusetts (the ignorant folks up there have a serious prejudice for folks coming into the state from "the big cities" out there...and to them, anyone coming into the state were "flatlanders.")
This is when the trouble really started on that van.
For the next several weeks I was tormented almost continuously by two or three on there that decided to get in on the fun. The van driver, upon hearing my outbursts from being cuffed from behind or having someone's food crumbs thrown on me when I tried to sit there and get into the book I was reading, to escape the volatile situation, would tell me to stop wining and learn how to take care of myself, or get off the van right there, that he was not a "baby sitter."
There came a time when one of their friends wanted to get on the van, but there was no room.
So they really worked on me. I would not comply to them telling me I needed to get off the van. One morning they were talking about getting someone off alone where they could make things real difficult for whoever it was.
That night these folks were inviting me to come down behind the VFW where we could have a "van" party. At first I consented...until I heard one of the perpetrators making a statement under his breath that this needed to be set up after dark behind there.
Immediately I was told when this "party" was happening, and it was then, when this sheer terror came over me. When the time came, I did not leave my apartment and go to the car park.
I've recalled many times when I've been the victim of being russelled-up, been kicked in the face repeatedly, pushed off a cliff at one point, shoved around, and all.
The phone rang. It was the van's drive, telling me they were all out there waiting for me, what was holding me up.
I closed up my apartment and went deep into the forest where I stayed a couple days. I never went back on that van again.
Much later, one of the older riders came up to me in the shipyard and discussed his stance with me on what happened on the van, that it was very fortunate of myself to have not gone to that "party" and how he wanted to speak up but could not, that I needed to deal with it myself.
Over the years, it seems to me, most bullies share one thing in common...they are insecure individuals, for whatever reason, and is where we get some of our sickos that, later in life, wind up destroying a life they heartlessly and viciously victimize...for sheer pleasure and to stand tall in the midst of the group they respect.
Fortunate for me, I did go into isolation and preserved my life until things would improve later...the move to Florida where I've received support and guidance I've never had from my family.
Today, I live 2000 miles away from my family and all that past.
I"ve not only survived, I'm now beginning to flourish...thanks to the resources I have today...including WA and the folks here. This has indeed been a true "safe place" for me as I build the defenses around me most people already have.
The first thing I had to do, was find out who I am...and then learn about human nature...how we are all wired, and that has not only given much more understanding about myself and others...but I now have identity and a direction.
This is my experiences, what I see in a bully, and that there is definitely hope for victims of bullying...if they can get in with the right people who can not only support, but build them up with love and care.