Positive Affirmations Failed Me (Avoid this From Happening to You)
I’ve been picking some really weird pictures lately. Yesterday, it was a lion and today, it's a bulldozer. Hahaha.
They all tie into what I'm saying though. Let me explain...this may take a second to make sense, but you'll get it. I promise.
A few years back, I went in head first into the laws of attraction books, and the "thoughts become things" ideology. It felt so liberating to think that anything I imagine can become my reality. I enjoyed thinking like that until I realized IT WASN'T WORKING.
I would imagine living anywhere I wanted and going wherever I wanted, and it didn't become my reality. People would say, "It's because you have to believe it from deep down in your core" or "You have disbelief", but I remember when I was a kid and I didn't have a disbelief in my imagination. Things still didn't come into existence solely because I desired them that way.
Do Positive Affirmations Work?
Yes and no. Let's talk about the "no" first. Positive affirmations don't work when:
- You have habits that you haven’t begun to implement that will make the dream a reality
- You don’t follow thru and execute those habits until the compounding generates a result
- And, You don’t use the positive affirmations as fuel to stay on course
I don't know why, but it seems like many of the Law of Attraction circles seem to miss the mark on talking about habit change and habit formation. Why is that?
What We Have to do to Get What We Want
In order to get what we want, we have to be honest with ourselves. Sometimes, we will tell ourselves excuses to "dumb down" our dream to what we think we'll be "able to accomplish". In other words, your confidence isn't where it needs to be to fully execute on the dream, but what you don't realize is if you stopped using the money excuse, the time excuse, or other excuses like that, you'd actually open yourself to dream.
Take a second and think about:
- What would life be like if you didn't worry about money or time?
- What would your family be like?
- What would your income be like?
- What would your wealth portfolio be like? Would you have real estate? How much would your websites be worth? Would you have licensing deals where people use your logo (because you've established a reputable brand)?
- What would your spirituality be like? Would you help the poor more? Would you help the uneducated or sick more? Would you help more people? Would you visualize, pray, meditate, read content that made you focus on your purpose?
- What would your recreation be like? Would you travel? Would you learn a language?
- What would you look like professionally? Would you be the best affiliate marketer? Would you be the best healthy lifestyle blogger? Would you be the best niche site builder?
Now, once you're clear about what you want, then the next step...
Can you think any bigger?
Sometimes, we struggle with big thinking, which is why I love to listen to big thinkers like Elon Musk whose thinking about implementing changes that impact large populations. If you don't challenge your thinking to stretch, you might be stuck with small dreams when you're capable of much more.
For example, if you said, I'd like my income to be at $50,000/yr and for my husband and I to argue less, it's commendable, but try imagining even further. Write down that step because it's likely that will be a milestone along the way, but if you stretch your thinking even more, you'll start to notice opportunities every day that will take you to the milestone goal and even further!
What's stopping you from getting there?
We all like to say "Google isn't ranking me" or "Facebook banned me", but in all reality, those are tools that help us to grow our social circle at a faster pace. The other tool we have is our cars, our feet, our phones, our business cards, and our boldness. We have to take initiative and not allow excuses to hold us back from getting from where we are to where we want to go.
Identify the excuses you're telling yourself and practice correcting yourself when the excuse pops up.
Where the Bulldozer comes in -- Bulldozing Past Limiting Beliefs
Once you realize how many times your excuses are causing you to redirect into mediocrity, then it's time to bulldoze thru them. Identify them and override them! Yesterday, I wrote about making the decision to stop making money excuses, and today, I'm challenging you to bulldoze thru all of your excuses.
My Questions for You
- Are you committing to bulldozing past your excuses?
- What word of advice do you have for those of us who have made our minds to bulldoze past our excuses?
Other recommended resources:
- 67 Self-Limiting Beliefs
- Darren Hardy's Compound Effect and Habits that Shape Yoour Affiliate Business
- When do you Stop Giving the Money Excuse?
- My Video Case Studies and Training with my Income, Traffic, and Learning Lessons
Recent Comments
71
The problem I have with law of attraction is that when most people find out about it, that it sounds like a shiny object.
Think, feel and it will happen is basically the summary of it. And while I personally believe that our thoughts and actions affect our reality, there is so much more involved to this actually taking place, like action and proper mindset playing a role.
I could stare at a income check for myself for $50,000 and want it, but unless I sit my butt down, research, and work to get it, it won't happen.
There's a quote that goes something like "God gives to those who do" or something along those lines and I think there is huge wisdom in this.
There are rare times when random things I wish would happen, do occur, but in terms of statistics, I don't bet on these rarities carrying me over in life. I stick to wanting to achieve a goal, then taking incremental steps to achieving them, expecting bumps and bruises along the way, but knowing it's the "climb" that leads to the goal being realized.
Just my 2 cents.
I completely agree! Mindset is one ingredient but if you only have that, it’s not enough. Every path has specific actions that go along with it.
That's exactly what I came to realize a few years back and pretty much what I wanted to say myself here.
Point is...
Now I don't focus on "wishing", instead I focus on INTENTION. Dreams won't come true, intention will. You just make a decision to make something happen and you make it happen by taking action towards your goal.
Wish + action = intention. Something like that :)
Most LOA books and courses and gurus work in the exact same way as those books, courses, and gurus in the MMO niche work.
They promise extraordinary results fast, and without acting in order to lure people in.
I remember when I was first introduced to the LOA I was fascinated by it. After a while, some books and courses had me convinced that if I just keep visualizing about this or that, eventually it will manifest in my life.
Results --> None!
Without taking actual action, you'll never reach your goals no matter how positive your thoughts are or how hard you visualize that you'll get that car of house or person of your dreams.
Xaric
I agree. Of course you have to believe you can do it or have it, but you have to back it up with action.
There are many ways to go. Belief is one of them.
The other one is curiosity...
For instance, I never believed that I would make money online until I actually made some. However, I kept working purely out of curiosity to see if it actually works or not.
Now, my goal is to make a full-time living online. I still don't believe 100% that I will be able to make it but I won't stop going towards there out of curiosity to see if I can actually achieve it.
I am sure that there are a lot more ways to achieve your wildest dreams without even believing that you can.
Another way could be pure stubbornness or maybe the feelings of having nothing to lose or having no other choice.
Of course, on the basis of everything is action.
I think you’re right that there’s more that inspires achievement than belief. Very interesting! I hadn’t thought about curiosity as in the same league with belief. Wow! I’ll have to think more on that but no wonder scammers can get away with so much. Hahaha.
This post is so on point. Recently, my friend introduced me to a particular famous law of attraction book, and she still talks about it now, saying she needs to ask the universe for things and believe deep down that she will get what she wants. She's adamant it works, because of lots of little coincidences that happen (like when she asks the universe for a parking space and one magically opens up), though she hasn't recieved any of her big dreams.
I am so not on board with the law of attraction. Good things don't happen because you sit around sending out positive vibes to the world. I'm a firm believer that you are the maker of your own destiny, and you have to work hard to put yourself in the position to take advantage of opportunites that come your way. And, of course, sometimes, you just happen to be in the right place at the right time, which is just down to luck. I know a lot of very negative people who are successful and achieve everything they set out to do!
I have to bulldoze quite a few excuses to attain my goals. The main one is not having enough time, because I need to work to earn money, to put a roof over my head. The second excuse is that I'm not good enough, or that there is someone out there better than me. That's a tough one to demolish!
Great post, thank you :)
Those are tough and common excuses. I use those sometimes but what I do that helps me bulldoze those is I prepare by making myself enough (developing my skills, practicing, and striving to be the best), I position myself where I can prove myself to myself, I prioritize, and I make myself more efficient so I can do more with less.
You can do it!
You are right when it comes to building that habit. A lot of people don't realize that it's the habits that got them to where they are now. And habits can get them to where they want to go.
The trick is to break yourself free from the comfortable habits that are currently holding you back and create new ones that will take you on the road towards your goals.
I once heard a person say that we are more alive when we are growing. And if we get comfortable and complacent, that is when our growth stops.
So, I have found that challenging myself every day and looking for things that I can learn about and use to better myself and the world around me makes me feel more fulfilled.
Louis
Wow! That’s amazing advice. Put ourselves in position to grow daily even when it’s uncomfortable.
Wow.. This was an amazing article. So when you get down to it, the Law of Attraction works, but it works to get us moving in the right direction. We still have to do the work. Thinking and visualizing does nothing if we aren't taking the steps necessary to make it happen... Great point.
I'll tell you why it is!
Positive affirmations based on the Law of Attraction have no scientific basis of support, other than the placebo effect.
The Law of Attraction peeps don't like to look at this serious problem with their favorite ideology and so basically, the retort is that you are the one who's nuts because you have failed to think positively enough. No science, just shaming.
Geez, thanks for that fake news, right? :)
Bulldoze that as well!
I do think that the positive affirmations ploy is overhyped...It really comes down to grit and tenacity...either you have it and use it to create the world that you desire, or you don't...
Most certainly some reinforcement can keep you on the right track, but essentially a positive affirmation post or meme is not going to make up for a lack of effort, commitment, and time...
People today want an instant solution for everything, and what they have forgotten (or never learned) is that delaying gratification and real work to achieve your goals is the key...
Obviously, you need a plan, the resources, and the will to find workarounds as you go along, but you do this knowing that there is an end game, the gratification so to speak...
Bulldozing is a good analogy though for what you do...
Perhaps a bit more finesse is required (i.e. EQ) but it comes down to refusing to give up, and making corrections along your way, and keep pushing...
Good topic for discussion!
Cheers!
Dave : )
Fantastic post. It reflects the life in whole. Everybody, my self included, are experts to make excuses and blame something, or someone for not reaching the goals. We should read this post before we get up from bed, and before we fall at sleep for the night.
Excellent post.
I think positive affirmations should be used to help reprogram your subconscious. If you repeat an affirmation long enough, you might convince your subconscious it is true, and your limiting belief system may change. That's your aim.
Tiffany, this is powerful. I have always believed the mind is powerful. But just thinking it is not enough. We have to put action behind it. I tend to forget the action part.
Like my bed this morning. I wanted to positively think it is made. I made all kinds of excuses so I wouldn’t have to get up. The bed did not make itself just because I had a positive thought about it. So I got up and put action into process and made the bed.
This is a simplistic example. You brought this one home so well. Thank you.
Laura
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Wow, lots of thoughts there! My old Indian grandpa use to tell me as a boy; "Try spitting in one hand and wishin in the other and see which one get full faster."
I did a post a few days ago about "Everything is created twice". Everything begins as a thought. You can either let it die, or you can do something about it. Wishin don't work!
Is it possible that in a way, all the comments have some merit and maybe, just maybe, there is some truth in all of them?
When a pilot friend was chastened by a little ole lady with: "If we had been meant to fly, we'd have wings". He replied, "we have brains to build our own wings"
Don't know if Wilbur and Orville used the Power of Attraction to make that old contraption fly, but it flew. I was chastened for an article I wrote about a bumblebee. The whole point was missed by the chastener. I said that "aerodynamically", which according to the law of aerodynamics, it can't fly. However, the bumblebee's wings are totally different than the wings of an airplane.
There's a seed of truth in most theories. The problem comes when we misuse or misunderstand them.
I think you had a great post. I enjoyed all the other comments. What do we do with those thoughts?
Let's go out and make the most of our opportunities we have here at WA. Maybe we'll all win...worth a try.
Joe
The thoughts are good, but the habits just have to align--that's where the power is. I think what I'm saying is perfectly pictured with the "spit analogy" even though that's a little gross. Hahaha.