Sayonara, ta ra, thank you, goodbye! Summer hols!

I swim–but...

But I have a heart, and wouldn't willingly foist my rotund, nearly naked corpuscle on innocent -passers-by; that would be simply unconscionable.

At any rate, I'm pretty sure that few things in life are more dangerous than fresh air and exercise. So indoors at the air-conditioned cinema, that's about the size of it. Except, of course, that there's nothing to watch.

Holloweird has been taken over by strange, SJW types whose ideas of "entertainment" hark back to the Puritanical days, during which a good scourging of the flesh on the back was considered délecter. So maybe, not.

I eat! :-)

I eat, but way too much, it seems. Or maybe it's just that my scales are wonky.

Yes, that's it, my scales are wonky, my dry cleaners clearly are shrinking my clothes in some sort of nasty mind game and my watch strap is tightening around my wrist like a misguided and misinformed garotter.

People may say it's the cake, chocolate and biscuits, but at the end of the day, what do they know, eh?

I cavort on foreign beaches, gay and carefree

Er, let me rephrase that: I cavort on foreign beaches, HAPPY and carefree.

Only, I don't. I'm too old, too fat and too out of shape in both body and stamina to do much "cavorting" nowadays, unless it is vicariously through young and energetic actors or thrill-seekers on my TV.

But, the other day, I did catch myself doing a lively jig to an imagined fandango as a chomped on a simple bread and butter and strawberry jam sandwich. (Or, the way I make it, a butter and break and jam sandwich. Drool.)

Norwegian Cruise, Land of the Midnight Sun

They said, "See the Midnight Sun", so I booked it. Only then did I read the fine print. Tch. Typical. We all have to be back on the ship by 11 p.m. Pretty silly, no?

Take an hour and a half to drive up to the observation platform, then at nine o'clock, leave and head back to the ship. What's the freakin' point? And how is that the Land of the Midnight Sun?

Deep sigh. Never mind. Head back to the ship. Free booze on tap.

Free booze on tap.

FREE BOOZE ON TAP!

Guys, if I drink myself to death, don't mourn my passing. Instead, raise a glass of cheer for me and remember my constant refrain: have fun! 😜

Yippee-kai-flipping-yay! 😊😊😊

Ciao, muchachos

Y'all look after yourselves and stay healthy and happy for the next two weeks, y'hear? 👍