Playing With Words

byKingfisher

876 followers

11 years ago

Some of you may have noticed that I like playing around with words; which is probably one of the reasons I became a writer. I also like to make people laugh; so, here's a few things to amuse you all.

a) I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

b) Gardening Rule: When you're weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed, and not a valuable plant, is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

c) The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

d) Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

e) There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

e1) Life is a sexually transmitted condition.

f) Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

g) The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

h) Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

i) Have you noticed since everyone has a phone camera these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

j) Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

k) All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

Part 2 will be posted soon :-)