Behind closed doors
Have you ever?
Encountered a complete stranger and they lashed out at you with anger simply because you happen to be the person standing by them when they got a phone call that clearly angered them?
Have you ever been at a restaurant and your server was just distracted and not getting things right ?
Have you ever had someone pull out in front of you in traffic just oblivious to everyone’s safety?
Have you noticed some one coming to work late and slightly disheveled when normally they are always on time if not early and always “ put together”
Have you noticed someone’s grades are slipping?
Do you see a common denominator?
None of us know what’s going on behind close doors.
When I was 21 years old, I went to J.C. Penney’s to get a new dress. I was disheveled, looked a mess, was a mess, and when I was counting out my money to pay the sales lady I was just so distracted. It took me a while to count my money.
It should had been a simple task.
But clearly it was not.
The lady behind me was so impatient with me, was so rude to me,
and in front of everyone said “ you looked like someone just died”
What she didn’t know that I was trying to buy a new dress to go to my precious Daddy’s funeral.
That incident from JC Penney’s made a lasting impression on me.
When someone lashes out or behaves in ways as mentioned above I do try to pause and just think, “what is behind their closed door.”
May we all be encouraging and kind to others even when it’s not easy.
Sometimes being silent works best. It speaks volumes.
Being kind is calorie free, is free, and makes you feel like a million!
Will you please share your thoughts?
Thank you
Elaine
Recent Comments
59
That's a profound story. Yup, it's best to be patient and keep our mouths shut when there's an issue with another person.
I need to go one further and try to keep "that look" off my face. I have a lousy poker face and you can read every thought I ever had on it. I try really hard not to give dirty looks when there's an issue such as yours.
I really don't want to be "that person". I want to be nice to people because I want people to be nice to me....golden rule and all.
Thanks for the reminder.
Thank you for stopping by and replying.
I so understand that look, yikes. Lol
Golden rule is definitely the way to go!
And often times safer.
Elaine, Two memories came to mind as I was reading your story. The first one was by Zig Ziglar on an audio tape years ago. It was the story about someone "kicking the cat." The second one is "Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. In effect, it is a reminder to practice empathy."
I had problems in my late 20's early 30's with "flying off the handle" until I heard the cat story.
We never know the Journey someone else is on when we meet them.
Sonny
Sonny,
Thank you so much for stopping by.
I had to look up ‘ kicking the cat”
Omg,what a clear and true statement.
Thank you for sharing that story,
I will have to pass that along.
Elaine
Oh wow!
Just this morning I woke up a bit irritable which turned into anger and almost a road rage. I tried hard to control myself.
But why?
It’s not that time of the month.
I woke up with an asthma attack. Seems I had it for a long time while I slept.
My oxygen levels were down, I had mild Hypoxemia.
Anxiety being one of the symptoms.
So I went from being anxious to irritated to angry.
I’m still recovering...
Thanks for pointing directly at me today!
I can imagine how you were feeling those years ago when you were buying a dress for such a painful event. One that you can never forget.
💐
Thank you so much for stopping by and replying.
It was very painful and a great learning experience for me.
My precious Daddy would be pleased that I learned to be mindful and to be aware of others pain.
Elaine
Your events are a great illustration.
Who would know how you morning started and the after effect?
Sure hope you are feeling better.
You're so right about not knowing what others are dealing with. A few months after my husband passed away, I was out doing some shopping. Someone I didn't know walked past me with the following comment: "Smile, it can't be that bad." Well, yes, it was that bad to me! Just as it was "that bad" to you.
I imagine it was just thoughtlessness on both their parts, but unnecessary all the same.
Nancy,
I am so sorry that happened to you.
Gulp and gulp.
I’m confident it was ‘ that bad”
Thank you for stopping by and replying.
Elaine
I've experienced some unpleasant things during my lifetime but I can't remember anything as dreadful as what happened to you when making that purchase of a new dress for your Daddy's funeral.
Some people are extremely uncaring. I'm fortunate I don't meet many like these days. I have experienced unpleasantness from two WA members, quite some time ago. They are both male with what I felt to be bullying attitudes. It was simple to quieten them by choosing to unfollow. I haven't seen them for more than a year.
Silence works for some people, but there are those who delight in hurting others.
WA is a place for extending help and cheerfulness to others.
With kind wishes to you, Elaine.
Valerie
Valerie,
Thank you so much for stopping by and replying.
So sorry you felt bullied.That is an unpleasant feeling indeed.
Once again you demonstrated class.
You being the Ambassador that you are simply removed your self from the ugly.
Good form!
Thank you again.
Elaine
I agree Elaine, when someone is lashing out or being a certain way, I try not to react but act by staying calm and silent, talking with people that way is like trying to reason with a drunk, they are simply not in the right frame of mind at that time and cannot see reason
Thank you so much for your time and comment
You are so correct.
You just can’t reason with a drunk , great point.
I can imagine the lasting impression that encounter had on you during a time when you were going through so much grief.
Such a good reminder that there's no need to make comments to someone just because you can. You have no idea what someone else is going through in their life that could be made worse by a careless comment.
Most people have heard of the expression, "If you can't say something nice to someone, don't say anything at all." If everyone would follow that rule, this world would be a much nicer place!
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The Indian adage, about "walking in one"s moccasins" , comes to mind.
Hurt people, hurt, people! The sales lady(?)or woman's, response, spoke volumes, about her "Closed doors" .
"Judge, not lest ye, be judged!" ... She got her, judgment, truer, than her view of you.
You, learned from that experience. Did she? Probably, not! You're the winner!
Good food for thought!
Barb
Barb,
Thank you so much for stopping by and your reply.
Great point you made.
I certainly learned a life lesson from that lady and my precious Daddy would be pleased.
Thank you again
We're only have power, in how we respond.
B