I Just Love Them

I Just Love Them

I work as an RN unit manager in a nursing home. Because of the way staffing is all over, we are frequently short staffed, and I fill in as building supervisor quite often. This, always on the evening shift, and less frequently, over nights. After a busy day of managing my staff of LPNs and CNAs, most of which have tough problems at home that they’re dealing with, I will work a second shift as supervisor.

During the day, I manage medical care for my residents, investigate falls, new skin injuries, and new onset illnesses and deaths. I also deal with family members of the residents. Some are nice and wonderful to know and call my friends, and some are not so nice. Very demanding and judgmental, and interrogating and critical. These are the ones that will call you in to the state department of health in a second just for fun. It doesn’t seem to matter much to them that their loved one is extremely needy and very difficult to care for, or all the good things that are done for them, or how attentive the staff are to them regardless, all they ever seem to notice are the small things that are wrong. And they don’t have a problem in telling the nurses and CNAs just what they think.

I listen to my staff as they come into my office, close the door behind them, sit down and fall into tears. I’ve earned their trust, and they have chosen to come and talk to me and let their guard down and bare their hearts and soles. They tell me all kinds of things that are burdening them. Everything from sick children to caring for sick parents every night after work. Kids having problems at school or in trouble with the law. Cheating spouses, evictions from their homes, financial problems, drug and alcohol addictions, even robberies, rapes, and shootings. These are the things that people come to work with on their shoulders. I comfort them as best as I can, offer advise when I can think of something to say, and try to help them somehow. Mostly, I just listen and let them know that I will always be there for them to talk to. That I will never repeat anything that is told to me, and that in that room, they are safe, even if just for a moment.

The nursing home has many dynamics in place. Many different personalities and attitudes. Different levels of ethics and compassion for others. Different skill sets and characters. Many of the residents have become close friends to all of us. Many of the family members are as well. Certainly, the nursing home is no place to be around during the holidays if you’re on a diet! They cook and bake and bring cookies, cupcakes, all kinds of goodies.

The staff know the residents probably better than anyone ever has because, at this time of their lives, the staff are responsible for their most basic needs and through compassion, become acquainted with their innermost beings. They make it their business to know them inside and out. They attend to their every need and keep them safe from every harm as if they were their own children. And it’s fair to say that the elderly can become very child like in the sunset years of their lives.

Late at night, as I walk the mostly quiet hallways of the facility, making my final rounds, I have the time to think. To reflect on the sights and the events of the day. I see residents sleeping, reading in their rooms, or watching TV in their beds. I think about how they must have been in their younger days when they were raising their families and working. Thinking about what they used to do for a living. I think about how life has changed for them and how it has evolved. About what their challenges are now and for the future, and I have tremendous compassion for them. I see the nurses and CNAs sitting at the nursing station doing their books. Trying to remember accurately, all the things they did for the residents that night. They talk a little among each other about things going on with their families and lives. But mostly, they are tired, trying to focus to get everything done before it’s time to clock out and go home. They aren’t allowed to stay a little later on the clock to finish charting because of budget constraints. They get up to answer a call lite a minute before the change of the shift, clock out, and return to their charting to get it done. I think about them, about the lives they lead, the hopes and dreams they have, the challenges they face, and the tremendous compassion they show.

And I go back to my office to prepare to give report to the next supervisor coming on shift. I reflect on the day’s happenings. The trials and challenges. The problems, and also the fun things. The concerts and fairs and Bingo that are put on daily for the residents by the activities staff. How they enjoyed them, and the smiles that I saw.

And I realize that I love them. Every one of them, no matter who they are. I know that everyone has a cross to bear. Situations in their lives that just aren’t pleasant or fair. No matter who they are or what they are. And I realize that I love them.

By Ron Cramer RN