My Baby Angels Heart Surgery, Life's Lessons, and a Big Thank You for Your Prayers!

byRaven9

897 followers

8 years ago

Why is it that even though us humans are such social creatures, we tend to isolate ourselves when we most need the support in life? I mentioned briefly in a post almost a year ago (ya, that was my last post here) - my daughter was diagnosed with a hole in her heart. She was born with an atrial septal defect, but we only found out last year, and she needed open heart surgery.

The last year was the darkest time in my life! Many days I could barely cope with day to day living, amidst all the fear and anxiety – much less work on building a website. Yet, the days I could push past the negativity, but didn't feel like talking to people in 'real' life - I found the support my heart needed through people here on WA. The kind comments when I needed them the most! Thank you for that!! Yet, I realize now that I still isolated myself, instead of reaching out – despite the support I did receive. I chalked it up to being a 'private' person, but now I see that I was quite possibly pushing away the 'light' to sit in the dark. I suppose this was part of the lesson I needed to learn, because I did come to find a deep personal journey in this whole experience.

And I'm so happy to tell my friends on WA who were praying for my daughter that her surgery went very well!

On September 30th, Natalia had open heart surgery and spent 5 days in the hospital. We were told the surgery would take 3-5 hours and it took 2 hours. She spent 1 night in the ICU and was then transferred to a room and was up, walking the halls 2 days later. On day 3 Natalia was in the playroom with some little friends who came to visit and on day 4 they said we could take her home. I was the one who was leery going home that soon and they kept her in for 1 more day. The hospital staff were amazing and we met many people over that 5 days that I will never forget.

At the time I felt like my life was awful, and after meeting some others who were at the hospital, I realized that many people have struggled just as much, or more than I had during that time. There was a random man we met downstairs at the cafeteria, who's daughter went through 4 heart surgeries and is now 19 and healthy. There was Natalia's roomate who recently had 2 brain surgeries and was now scheduled for an open heart surgery.

I felt like my life was a movie, and I could finally see the deeperness of it all – that God (or the universe, law of attraction or whatever you chose to call it) had put all these people and circumstances in front of me to show me something. And I also realized how trapped in bitterness I had become – it took seeing other people's suffering to bring me back. I thought that skydiving for the first time a month prior helped me to find my soul, and it was nothing compared to the trip for Natalia's heart surgery.

There were also many serendipitous things that happened - a homeless man who I randomly met and bought some groceries for- we ran into again later in the trip; and he asked how Natalia was doing – warmed my heart. A friend from 20+ years ago that I barely have contact with - contacted me the day before we left for surgery who happens to live in the city we were travelling to - their visit at the hospital meant so much.

And another person I feel like crossed my path for a reason was one of the nurses. She took Natalia for an xray, and after casual conversation with my husband, and having him mention he was from Nicaragua, she said her brother is currently in Nicaragua, running a business. When I began speaking with her I quickly made the connection that her brother's business is one that gives back alot to the local community, and this man was on the top of my list of people to contact for the next phases of our website/ business ideas – the travel consultations/referrals in Nicaragua. That was law of attraction at it's best – my mind was blown that I met this woman who's brother's name I had wrote down to contact – and of all places, at the hospital.

I believed very deeply in that moment that we were meant to have went through all that we did – especially the timing of it all. If I would have tried to plan running into all of these special people during that time, it probably never would have happened.

You'd have think I came home with tremendous inspiration to move forward and I did for awhile.

Then at Natalia's 1st checkup a week later she had fluid around her heart. I was sent on another tailspin – life was such a rollercoaster – and every time I thought we didn't have to worry, something else happened. However, I tried to maintain the new found faith in life that I discovered a few weeks prior, and prayed for better news the following week.

By Natalia's 2nd checkup she had no more fluid around her heart! She got a clean bill of health and doesn't even need any more checkups until next year. What a blessing!

Since November we have been slowing moving ahead with our business. I really did think after the surgery life would be great again, but I wasn't prepared for the feelings I developed over the past year to follow me. I think worry and fear becomes a habit, and I have to catch myself on a daily basis to not go back to the fear based thinking. Natalia's surgery went well and that's all that really matters.

And even in the midst of the darkest time in my life, the best ideas came to me – the ideas about our website, developing a new aspect to the business in Nicaragua and homeschooling/working together as a family.

I was upset many times that I could not put the energy into the great ideas I had, however, I am trying to trust the divine timing of that as well. After all – I think that's a huge part of the lesson life was teaching me during the trip for surgery.

So – I just want to say to all of my WA friends –Thanks to all of you who held us in your hearts and prayers!!! It really did mean so much in my darkest days!

And have faith in your life, try to trust your intuition about your ideas, and most of all, don't let frustrations about the timing of it all get to you. There may well be something super important behind the whole divine timing thing!