Suggestions on Giving and Receiving Comments
I love using the Site Rubix Comment section to give and receive comments.
It's so easy.
I get to see other people's websites and get ideas for my own. I get to read about interesting things. And, best of all, the reason we are here, I get to earn points so I can get quality comments on my site.
But I had a bad experience with it recently.
MY BAD EXPERIENCE
I received my first rejected comment and my approval rating dropped.
I take a lot of time and care in my commenting. Sometimes I have no idea what the page is talking about, so I Google a bit to learn more I want to give valuable and engaging comments, and some posts are hard to do that with naturally.
When my comment was rejected it really upset me. It gave no reason why, so I just had to figure it out for myself to see if I could avoid rejections in the future.
This is something I know that many of us have a concern with because we don't want to lose our access to these tools with a poor comment rating.
FIGURING OUT WHAT I DID WRONG
Well, the page in question was for a gamer website. I had listed in my interests "gaming," but hadn't realized that the games I love are not necessarily what is being talked about right now. These websites are not focusing on Mario Brothers and Skylanders, but on the more popular games. So I have trouble relating. Perhaps this shouldn't be listed in my interests.
I remember struggling with what to write, but I did feel like I engaged and asked the right questions. I was interested in the game he was talking about and compared it to games I had played.
I asked him what systems it might work on, trying to engage. I actually considered buying the game!! So I was definitely the audience that webpage should be looking for.
I can only guess I just didn't engage in the way he wanted so he rejected my comment.
REJECTING COMMENTS
I had a recent struggle myself with a comment I received for approval that I didn't exactly love. The guy had clearly put some effort into it. It was not spam, but it didn't ask questions that I felt related to the topic. It felt more like feedback and less like engaging.
I didn't want to reject the guy for just not naturally being able to engage in my female topic. So I accepted the comment and edited through editor. I felt like this is a more humane approach, when not dealing with an actual comment spammer.
It also allowed me to keep a comment, valuable for my site, and remove the questions I didn't like.
FINDING A SOLUTION ON COMMENTING
I was doing more commenting today, and I found a button I had completely missed previously:
There is a little button (hard to see because it's light gray), beneath the profile of the person whose site you are reviewing, that says, "I'm Not Interested."
If you come across a post that you really can't offer a valuable comment for, hit this button to skip it. It won't guarantee that someone won't reject your comment, some people are just particular about what their comments say - no idea why, but it might mean fewer rejections and more commenting that you actually enjoy.
MY SUGGESTIONS ON GIVING AND RECEIVING COMMENTS
Based on my lessons learned here, I'd like to offer a few suggestions on commenting:
1. Use the Site Rubix Comment tool to easily give and take comments.
2. Make sure your interests are up to date and things you actually feel comfortable commenting on.
3. Skip any posts you aren't enjoying or for which you don't feel you can offer a valuable comment.
4. Try not to reject comments when they are clearly not spam and have good intentions behind them. Delete them in your edits after and PM the person who commented to offer advice or feedback on their comment.
I add this last one simply because I think that people should feel encouraged to provide comments and use the tool. By rejecting something just because it isn't personally how you would comment, especially without feedback, you're not really supporting the system.
5. Reject and give feedback on comments that are spam, such as those that just say: "Nice post!" You should be receiving quality comments in exchange for your own.
Let's keep the cog working and make the give and take pleasant so our newcomers can learn.
Try to be kind and treat others how you want to be treated.
Love,
Jaime
Recent Comments
36
I loooove your blog. I have offered a lot of quality comments from time to time. I read articles which catch my interest. I have been rejected twice however.
The first time I was rejected, I was upset but moved along. I was rejected for a comment I left about 2 weeks ago and I was sooooo upset. The article was about migraine headache, I suffer with that so I was really engaged and gave the writer some good feedback and asked a question at the end, only to be rejected. I was sooo mad because I genuinely wanted my question answered. The reason I was rejected is because I mentioned something in my comment that was not in the article.....what? I remembered mentioning something about peppermint and headache.
I was like, that's what the comment field is for, to have your readers engaged and ask questions.....be a professional and answer, not reject the comment because you don't know the answer.
Nevertheless, I have never rejected any comments made on my site. Just like you, I use the edit field to make slight adjustments if needed.
I hope many WA members get to see this blog. Thanks!
I'm so sorry if I was a part of your bad experience. I agree, it's not a great feeling when you put your heart in it. At the time, I had no idea that there was an approval rating. I'm pretty sure you were one of my first comments ever. That's why I'm promoting a nicer approach to make the community welcoming for everyone who is ready to learn. Thank you so much for your feedback. :)
Totally agree.
Several times I received a feedback when I requested for comments. But as much as possible I do not want to disapprove comments so I edit them a bit to make them relevant to my post.
I also had two comments rejected but at least they gave me valid reasons why.
I used to scroll down and hit the "not interested" button but, I find that I can save a little time and effort by just hitting the "offer comments" button again since it also refreshes everything and shows another website to comment on.
I have also edited my share of comments from WA members who are just breezing through the "offer comments" area to accumulate points without sharing any substantive comments.
The first comment I ever made in "offer comments" was rejected. That was when I realized that "comments" were not "feedback"... And, I adjusted my texts accordingly - once I understood the difference and how they were used.
But, I was new...and we all have to learn the difference.
Jim
I didn't think about just refreshing for a new comment. Just as easy, I guess! I think we all have a learning curve on commenting.
You give really good advice here on comments.
I too had a comment rejected which, like you I found especially upsetting, especially as I know The comment was relevant and asked a natural question, which we are encouraged to do.
Either they didn't know the answer or they rejected it by accident. This is easily done if you are not concentrating I guess.
However it is pointless rejecting a comment as you can edit them to what you want them to say anyway.
In both our cases, they just lost a comment on their site, so more fool them.
With Grace and Gratitude
Karen
Hi Jaime,
A great post on a very hot topic at the moment. I feel very strongly about the "nonsense" comments that people leave that add no value and are clearly made just to accumulate credits. I have advocated rejecting these.
As you mentioned, there also comments that have clearly taken some work but do not have what someone might be seeking. I have taken the approach of approving all comments that do not do damage.
I do believe that you have a good point in your Item 4 regarding accepting and then deleting them in your edits.
My one concern is that we are not helping those who make posts that are "not ideal". Should we not maybe PM them and explain our concerns and make positive suggestions. We will of course have those that will find that offensive. How do we make it a win win situation for both parties.
I certainly don't want to have anyone banned from commenting because they have not been shown how to comment correctly. I know I make mistakes as I have had one rejection recently.
We have to live and learn but we need to find a happy medium and I am certainly open to suggestions. I would welcome a PM to explain my error in my comments or feedback, and yes, I make good use of the "not interested" button.
You are absolutely right and I will edit that in to my post. I do definitely PM if I feel I can help someone improve on how they comment. Thanks!
Hi Jaime,
I agree with you. I also think the person that rejected your comment was being too critical. I have seen your comments on my site and other peoples (when you happened to comment on the same site), and I can see you are careful to understand the topic, give a relevant comment and ask questions. This is more than many people give in comments and I really don't think you should have been rejected.
I agree, if the comment is not perfect but is not spam and the person is clearly trying then I will keep it. If it just says "Great post" or something generic along those lines, I will delete it now.
I had one like that a few months ago and now I have another one from the same person sitting on my site that I have to delete. They sent me a PM asking me to leave a comment on their site (again).
I will have no choice I guess but to explain to them again why I cannot accept their comment. I can't remember if it was this person or another one where I told them I would not accept their comment on my site but I would still leave a comment on their site since they were new. Now I am annoyed though since it is happening again months later! It is a waste of my time!!!
The I'm Not Interested button is great and I use it all the time. Or, I refresh the page...I do NOT leave comments on sites I am really not interested in. It takes too much time for me to come up with a comment and I don't think it is fair to the other person.
Jessica
Thanks, Jessica. It's unfortunate the few who don't take advice and learn. That can be so frustrating! I love that you try to address it so peacefully. I know from personal interaction you're an amazing ally to have here. I guess there is a point, especially if it's drawing you away from being productive, where reporting might be beneficial. I hope it all sorts out for you.
Nice post! Every one of us starts out a learner driver on the road, and we will all make mistakes getting the hang of the wheel. You're right, we can all find ways to be more accommodating of those comments that feel a little like square pegs in round holes.
And it is just as constructive to send feedback when it really won't work.
And one more thing: I noticed a conspicuous absence of any conversation in your post about C64, or C64 sims. And I don't know... there should be a special button to voice my disapproval, right?
Hey, speaking of buttons, do you think making the grey button something more brightly-coloured would draw people's attention to the option a little more? Like maybe a pleasant Kermit green?
lol What the hey is C64?! I think it would be nice if we could make a comment back, instead I just PM. I would have definitely appreciated a PM on why my comments were so "offensive."
As far as the button goes, one it's located it's not hard to see anymore. I figure updated training on using the tool might help. I wrote the post because I know that's not going to be the priority right now, but I wanted to help. :)
I am having trouble understanding the difficulty in making a comment or giving feedback. Assuming a gaming site here>
With comments, if the site presents the game well, explains some benefit or something you did not know, then you can comment on these things " I did not know the Wizbang would do a flung dung into my pocket that's amazing, the kids will love it "
"You explained the game really well, I think my nephew will be interested"
How hard is that?.
With feedback you need to be honest in how the site comes over to you and yes is subjective, but the idea being if you get similar critiques from a number of reviewers then you know you need to look into it. Some people get attached to their site and will defend it, after all they went through pain to build it, so often we cannot see our own faults,. I need the feedback to ensure I am facing reality
Of course we could have a new button put in place
ONLY POSITIVE FEED BACK HERE
I shall get off my soap box now
Geoff
There is nothing difficult about commenting on a game like that. You're right! Except my comments, much like your examples here, were still not what the site owner was looking for. It definitely has to do with our own vision for our sites, but I personally don't understand why I wouldn't accept all comments that contribute. Even negative comments invite discussion, although I'm not too into that either.
I agree, I'll just stick to Mario Bros. and Zelda.
I think part of the problem is that people don't understand the difference between a comment and feedback. The other is they are in such a hurry, they don't read the instructions. I've noticed a lot of people loosing comment privileges here lately. You're right about the not interested button. Anymore if it's not something I'm not interested in, I just skip it. Why take a chance of being rejected.
Don
Good call on the feedback. I got a comment today that was nothing but feedback and how I could fix the post. I debated rejecting, but figured out how to edit the comment and make it useful, then I educated by PM.
Zelda is my jam! :)
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I completely agree with you! My sister just had a baby and I commented on someone's blog about baby car seats and strollers, relating it to my own personal experience and my comment was rejected. They gave me an answer as to why (I guess it wasn't unique enough?) but now my rating has dropped (didn't even know that could happen btw.) It makes people hesitate to comment on others websites, especially if you think your comment was good and don't know why is was rejected.
Yes, perfect example. I'm hoping we can all work and learn together to make commenting a little smoother for everyone.