Finding Correct Balance Between Positive vs Negative Influences & Associations

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Updated 2 years ago

Hello WA community,

Allow me to begin this post by stating that it is my 59th birthday today, and it's a little scary to admit that I've gotten so old already! Where did the time go?

Honestly, though; I feel more blessed, more lucky, more enthusiastic about this birthday, and about the remainder of my life, than I believe I ever have in the past, and it's all thanks to having found this awesome platform and community here at WA. That is the greatest birthday gift I could have asked for or expected!

So, with that said, this is now my third, (and final) post in this series of posts related to the wealth of information and wisdom I've found in 3 resource books, which I will reveal at the end of this post. I highly recommend everyone obtain at least one of these books and begin reading, (or listening to the audio versions) as soon as they're able to do so. I will be reading and listening to these resources repeatedly for the remainder of my life. The reasons I will do so is because, first of all, that is what the authors recommend. Secondly, there is so much useful information contained in them, that it'll take a lifetime of repetition for the principles to really sink in and become ingrained in my brain and character.

However, sharing these resources with the WA community and emphasizing their value and how important I believe it is that everyone should begin absorbing the information therein is not the subject matter I intended for my final post in this series.

In my first post, I discussed the extreme importance of distancing yourself from negative influences, whether such is generated by people you associate with, or whether such is generated by your own negative thoughts and perceptions, etc. For those who may have missed that post, you can find it here:

https://my.wealthyaffiliate.co...

Then, in my second post, I discussed the importance of surrounding yourself with positive influences, and becoming part of a Mastermind Group, (which you're already a part of inside the WA community) that will provide positive support, feedback, assistance, etc. For those who that post, it can be found here:

https://my.wealthyaffiliate.co...

If the majority of negative influence in your life is being generated by yourself and your own thoughts, then that is a matter of self-management, and you are the primary person who can, and should, implement changes. If that is the case with you, then the resources I've revealed below will definitely help you in achieving that objective.

Once we've got our own house, (or mind) in order, the question then becomes: How do I find a proper balance between avoiding those people who are a negative influence in my life, verses surrounding myself with people who are a positive influence?

This is a very difficult question to answer, and is even more difficult to implement into your character once you believe you've found the answer!

Human personalities are very complex and varying, and each situation is different. Everyone has their personal beliefs, biases and prejudices influencing their perceptions of things as they really are, therefore few of us can truly see things clearly through the haze of our own experiences, judgement and perceptions. There may be individuals who have perfected the fine balance of avoiding negativity in all its many forms, and opening themselves up to assisting others wherever possible and giving back to the universe, but I don't know anyone who has perfected this, however; and I certainly can't claim to have done so myself.

What I offer here is only my own opinions and methods of attempting to find this balance in my own life, and in my interaction with others. We are all both leaders and followers to varying degrees, and within those two roles somewhere lies the balance that one needs to find and apply in our personal lives and social engagement.

I read a post this morning discussing the importance of speaking up and saying what's on your mind. It is a great post, and I've put the link to it here in case you missed it:

https://my.wealthyaffiliate.co...

I do agree with this post, to a point. There are definitely times when speaking up is not only appropriate, but when it is mandatory!

My own methods, however; are more of a stealthy approach. I try to implore the wisdom of the ancients which have been stated in numerous ways, and in myriad sources. We've all heard or read some of these adages...

"It's better to remain silent and thought a fool, than to open one's mouth and remove all doubt."

"A closed mouth catches no flies."

"The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion."

The quotes go on and on, but the one I like best states it like this: "You have two ears, two eyes, and one mouth; use them accordingly."

In fact, I've kind of come up with my own quote based on this one, which I've actually turned into one of my t-shirt patterns, and it reads: "I implore the wisdom of the ancients by keeping my mind alert, my eyes and ears open, and my mouth SHUT!"

Again, that's not to say there aren't times when I see that I need to speak up on a particular matter, but I would say that more often than not, I'm concerning myself with watching and listening, rather than speaking and being heard.

The dilemma then, is how can I help others when I'm choosing to generally keep my mouth shut? That's where the observing and listening comes into play. It is certainly one of the most noble and important factors of life to willingly offer yourself and your assistance to others, especially when they're clearly in need of such. None of us are able to navigate through this life alone, yet so often we find that a number of people tend to drag us down to their level of negativity, pessimism and self-doubt, (which I might ad are fear-based coping mechanisms in those individuals, in most cases).

How, then; do we know when to offer our help to others? Where is that balance to be found?

First of all, it helps to remember that we are not able to help anyone until they're ready to be receptive to help.

I have only two rules for my social interaction, which seem to be applicable to any situation, assuming I'm strong enough in the moment to implement them. I've already told you the second rule in the quote I provided above about keeping my eyes and ears open and my mouth shut. But the first rule - which I place first for a reason, is The Golden Rule: "Treat others in the same manner that I would want them to treat me." I don't believe a person can go wrong adhering to the Golden Rule, which is why I have it as my first rule, then observing, listening, and keeping my mouth shut until I perceive it is a good time to speak up is a good second rule, at least for me.

I'll admit that I struggled with whether or not I should freely share with others what I truly believe are Gold Mines of wisdom and invaluable resources, when I was considering whether I should share the resources I'm about to reveal below.

Kyle, our WA co-founder, recently published a post and video related to giving away your best content, (resources) for free, which can be found here:

https://my.wealthyaffiliate.co...

After watching this, I made up my mind that regardless of how valuable I think these resources are, (or how much I could profit in my business by setting up affiliate links to market them), that it would be quite selfish and ungrateful of me to keep them to myself, when I could share them with the WA community at large, which has given me so much already.

Besides, a personal belief I have is that Karma is real, and we each reap what we sew, whether positive or negative, so I strive to be engaging in positive thoughts, feelings and actions; putting out to the universe exactly what I hope to receive in return.

That is my personal advice and opinion, which I wanted to share with everyone here. Much of the way I think, perceive and believe nowadays is much different than how I was in the past, and that is due, in large part, to reading, (or listening to) repeatedly, the books I've been discussing in these posts, and which I will now share with you. These resources have introduced to me a side of myself I previously didn't know existed, and one author promises the same will happen to anyone who reads his book(s) repeatedly to absorb, and implement all the storehouse of wisdom and information contained therein.

So, without further ado, I'll now give you those resources. Bear in mind that some of the examples the authors use in these books may be outdated due to the fact that they were originally published many years ago and times have changed since. However, the principles and wisdom contained within these books are eternal, and they will ring true to your inner core once you digest them with an open mind and humble heart.

The first two books are by the same author, and those books should be read in the order I've listed them, as the second is a companion book to the first. The third book is of equal value, and can be read either before or after the others.

Here are the most valuable resources I'll likely ever give away entirely free. I expect no kind of compensation for giving these away to the "universe", as I believe they are resources of such great value, that anyone who doesn't know of them or hasn't been made aware of what is in them, should be given this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. They really are that good!

Here they are:

"Think and Grow Rich", by Napoleon Hill. The second book by the same author that follows this one, is "How to Own Your Own Mind".

The third resource is "Secrets of the Millionaire Mind", by T. Harv Eker.

There you have it... These are my "gift" to everyone else, on my birthday. 😊

I hope you have enjoyed my series of posts and that you have gained something from them. More importantly, I hope that you'll do yourself a great favor by checking out these resources, I promise you won't regret doing so.

Best wishes to everyone,

Kevin