Book Review "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F#$%k"
Hey guys, I just finished listening to the new book by Mark Manson called "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F$%^k!"
Interesting title and probably genius because it makes you wonder what he is talking about.
The book is a counterintuitive approach to living a good life.
It has some really interesting topics and makes you look at life a little differently. I really like his message of not worrying about the trivial parts of life that don't really mean much.
Have a read and let me know what you think.
He is pretty blunt and tells it as it is, a no bulls$%t guide to having a great life.
I found it entertaining and insightful. Like anything new there is always something you can take away from the experience.
The big point I took away from this was to not care about what other people think and live life the way you want to live it.
Life is short so get into it and start being you without fearing what society is doing.
Focus on what is really important and avoid the distractions.
What is really, really important to you guys?
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Yeah, I love a bit of Mark.
The Subtle Art was also made into a "movie" last year, it's on Netflix.
He's actually written a couple more books since, he's also got a YouTube channel and a blog, plus the blog has an app, so you can also listen to his blog posts via podcast platforms, etc.
But, yes, the basic message is much the same as many books in the self-help genre, but from his perspective, and it is actually the "key to happiness".
All of our problems in life are actually "self-inflicted", i.e. we have a choice of how we THINK about them.
Even when the most horrific thing happens to us in life, it is still our choice whether we allow our inner thoughts to go down the negative route or whether we look for the positive in something.
One of the most basic examples of this is you're running late and you get stuck in a traffic jam.
"Normal" human behaviour dictates that we'll get angry and upset by being stuck in a traffic jam, as it's going to make us even later, and you could be on your way to a really important meeting.
So, you spend all that time in a traffic jam thinking negative thoughts, getting angrier by the second, so much so that it ruins your ENTIRE day (not just the meeting you were late for).
However, the "key to happiness", and Mark's main message - you're stuck in that traffic jam, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, so you can spend all your time thinking negatively and making yourself more stressed, or JUST ACCEPT IT, realise you're going to be late, there's nothing you can do about it, so you stick on a Mark Manson podcast and feel much more happy and relaxed, even though you're late to your meeting.
We ALWAYS have a choice in how we REACT to every situation!!
Partha
Well said! It is funny how we as humans get some worked up over nothing really. I am classic for this when in traffic, you have this expectation of how the trip is going to go and then a big slow truck or red lights slow you down and you get angry.
But angry over nothing, you are just going to be late or early for something that probably isn't life threatening or your number one priority anyway.
Thanks for your message.
Cheers.
"However, the "key to happiness", and Mark's main message - you're stuck in that traffic jam, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it, so you can spend all your time thinking negatively and making yourself more stressed, or JUST ACCEPT IT, realise you're going to be late, there's nothing you can do about it, so you stick on a Mark Manson podcast and feel much more happy and relaxed, even though you're late to your meeting."
That is Fu####
Can you explain further, or am I just an idiot?
@PMindra
Basically we are all going to die! So what you think is important today isn't really.
So don't let yourself get caught up in small insignificant tasks that won't matter.
Follow your joy meter. If it isn't causing joy then change direction and keep following the joy and everything will be perfect!
Paul,
Firstly, don't moan this is too long, hahahaha!!! YOU ASKED... and you are literally the ONLY member on the platform who "moans" about the length of my blog posts or responses, LOL!!)
Okay, a very quick human psychology lesson, LOL, which unfortunately throughout human history, the vast majority of humans die without ever realising THIS.
We basically have "two brains" (yes, I know we PHYSICALLY only have one, but it has TWO different functions).
The "upper brain" is an analytical, rational-thinking brain, typically used for problem-solving, learning new things, etc. This accounts for around 15% of our brain usage on a daily basis.
The "lower brain" is an irrational, supposition-based, habit-forming brain, This accounts for 85% of our thinking on a daily basis.
So, everything that you do "without thinking" is the lower brain, there are so many things that you do daily that are habits burned into your lower brain, think about all the things you do without really ever "thinking about them", e.g. brush your teeth, drive your car, put one foot in front of the other in order to walk, etc.
However, the "lower brain" and its irrationality is typically what "RUINS" many people's lives.
And obviously, I don't want to take anything away from people who have serious mental issues, but this is still down to THEY BELIEVE what their lower brain is telling them (remember the lower brain is IRRATIONAL).
A prime example of the lower brain being irrational:
You go into your local coffee shop to get your morning coffee and the girl behind the counter is rude to you, you get your coffee, leave the shop, and this is the conversation your irrational, lower brain has with yourself:
"F&%k her, I can't believe how rude she was to me. I go in there regularly, I spend money, surely I deserve to be treated with respect. You know what I going to call head office and get her fired. Also, I'm never going in that shop again, but my nearest coffee shop is over 5 miles away, but do you know what, I'd rather walk 5 miles a day than be spoken to like that. However, if I'm going to walk 5 miles a day I'll need new shoes, which is going to cost me money and take me over my overdraft limit. Oh my God, that "B&%$ch in the coffee shop has put me into debt, I'll probably also start getting charges on my account, then I'll become bankrupt, lose my home, my wife will leave me, and I'll never see my kids again"
This is actually the type of catastrophizing though-process your subconscious, IRRATIONAL mind goes through on a daily basis (remember, it's subconsious, but try LISTENING to your inner thoughts every day and you'll soon realise that most of the things it says are ridiculous).
However, imagine walking into that coffee shop and the girl has a sign above her head, "My mother died this morning".
If she snaps or is rude to you NOW you can guarantee that your thought process will be completely DIFFERENT, you will show far more empathy and sympathy, and your mind will do the same.
The moral - we allow other people's attitudes towards us to decide whether we have a "good" or a "bad" day, this is "reactive living", i.e. NOT good!
The "lower brain" is often referred to as "The Monkey Mind" or "The Reptile Brain".
Google those two phrases and you have a lifetime of research online, also, Steve Peters' book, "The Chimp Paradox" explains the process extremely well.
TWO things to live by in life:
"You are NOT your thoughts" (Remember the Henry Ford saying, "Whether you THINK you can or cannot, you're right")
AND
"You can't control other people, but you CAN control yourself"
This is simply another way of saying that 85% of your daily thoughts (your irrational, subconscious lower brain) MEAN NOTHING!!!
And yet, we ALLOW this to rule our happiness!!
How often do you ruminate over something that happened 1,2, 5, or even 10, 20, 30 years ago?
Why?
You can't do anything about it, it happened in the past, YOU CAN'T CHANGE it!!!
How often do we irrationally worry about things in the future?
Why?
Can you do anything about it today?
If not, forget it!!
Finally, around 85% of our thoughts on a daily basis are NEGATIVE!
We have around 60,000 thoughts per day.
So, that's approximately 51,000 negative thoughts per day.
Of those negative thoughts, 97% NEVER HAPPEN!!
Basically, as human beings, we spend the vast majority of our thinking and overthinking, worrying and getting stressed about THINGS THAT WILL NEVER HAPPEN!
Those who come to this realization and can "dismiss" their "irrational, subconscious thoughts" are the ones who tend to live the happiest of lives.
Partha
OK.
Makes sense. I think. KGads.
I lived in the tens of thousands, my son lives in the millions, and his son will live in the billions.
Take extreme care..
Paul.
Wow.
I am going to miss you.
Is it Partha or Parantha? I love eating paranthas as much as I love the writings of Partha.
Can I do anything about today?
Yes.
Can I do anything about yesterday?
Yes.
How about the 60,000 thoughts...
Yes.
My dearest Partha,
I am not moaning. I am groaning.
Do you remember the Kardashev scale?
Wikipedia
https://en.wikipedia.org › wiki › Kardashev_scale
The Kardashev scale is a method of measuring a civilization's level of technological advancement based on the amount of energy it is capable of harnessing ...
There is a lyric in Punjabi transcribed to Sanskrit that you might find.
mera man loche gur darshan lyrics in Punjabi
You are a nice guy.
I like you with all your callousness and malice. Do I have the spelling correct?
Hey, where do I find you? You can find me at paulmindra.com shortly. It will become a site for "The Frugal Retiree."
If you are in your early thirties, I have a son that might resonate with you. He is in the process of opening his third clinic devoted to helping people who are in pain.
You seem like a very nice person and I like you.
Here is long-winded:
https://theforensicaffiliate.com/about-paul/#Introduction
That's my Mom and Dad in the picture.
Somebody Wrote:
We are all going to die! So what you think is important today isn't really. So don't let yourself get caught up in small insignificant tasks that won't matter.
This person does not know his or her joy.
Hey, sunshine,
you are.
Find me somehow.
You are one, I am one, together we are two.
Oh, by the way, I make income through the growing technology. Not MLM and all that shit. AI 2024 and beyond.
Please try to stay in WA.
You will be missed.
Here is when you joined"
https://theforensicaffiliate.com/wealthy-affiliate-university/#Scenes
You are nice.
Thank you for being.
I will try.
Paul
I saw the title and just had to read your blog. As unprofessional as this may sound....I have lived most of my life with the attitude of "My name is Chuck and I don't give a F#@k" Honestly it has worked pretty well for me.
Thanks and Have a Great Day
-Chuck
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Life, with liberty, and an opportunity to hand it down to others.
You seem nice.
What is important to you?
Let's connect.