Time Flies!
I can't believe I lost almost two important weeks with Landon and it is killing me right now. I have no idea why everything compounded in my damn head this last week. I will say depression and anxiety in adult men and women can be serious. We obviously started our website in order to lean towards helping kids that is why it revolves mostly around him.
We can all be effected no matter the age and boy I wish I could have predicted this so I could have tried to stop it. I found myself in the basement with the light turned of and just isolating which made it worse. I have no idea that I was missing days at a time and God only knows what was going the the wife's mind and poor little Landon. I thank her so much for taking him to the local fair to keep him busy but I MISSED IT ALL! I now only have the pictures she sent me.
I keep trying to write the things down that was going through my head so maybe I can stop it next time. The stupid list just keep growing longer and longer to the point it was sucking me into the same rabbit hole so I had to stop.
1- Is it my past 3 cancers that wasted most of my childhood?
2- Is it my CHF that happened in 2019?
3- Maybe its the years that followed of always being in the hospital for weeks at a time?
4- Heck it could have been my family was limited in visits to hospital because of Covid?
5- To even losing my career due to all of this lost time at work and everything I learned and went to school for?
6- Or is it due to hoping this platform would have worked out better for me by now. I know it has to do with me not grasping everything and maybe taking the wrong road in WA!
I hope this works out because "I feel as a man" it is so difficult to lose your way when everyone is counting on us. It may be pride or because we are taught at a young age to get a job, buy a house, get married and have kids. You better also be able to support and take care of them along the journey of life. I hope this phase passes and I can get my head of the sand and pull up my britches and buckle down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Recent Comments
19
Thank you Jeff and it gives me a whole new aspect of the ways anxiety or depression may hit. OR EVEN BOTH!
I have a much more respect for our service men like you who maybe coping with it.
Kevin and Son
Hang in there, Kevin!
It sounds like you have a great wife and son! Hold on to them!
Things will get better! Take care of you!
Tim 🎼
Kevin, I hate to hear you are having so many difficulties. But you are stronger than you think, and I believe you can pull through this. You are fortunate to have such a loving and caring wife and son to help you through the darkest times.
Stay strong, my friend and I will keep good thoughts flowing your way.
Nancy
Hi Kevin
Don't put so much importance on what 'they' and 'society' think you should do.
They even don't have to put their big nose in it ;-)
Don't forget there is always the sun ( remember the song ? ) and what has to come will come anyway. Less but also better.
Don't expect either fast returns from your WA efforts.
You are probably on the right track but it takes time ... time ... time.
Personally I take this 'fast money' and 100 K + $ not with a grain of salt but with big bags ... I don't say it is not possible but needs riping and luck. June 2022 is not so long ago.
Believe in your family and never give up. Everybody gets his strike of luck :-)
See more comments
I know first hand how hard this is to deal with, I had to live through the isolation that my mind created, thinking it was protecting me. It has taken me many years to drive all the symptoms away, but I came up with a way of mentally boxing the issues, dealing with them one by one. It seems to me you are close to evolving a similar style of coping, but a big point I draw from what you have wrote, is you recognise your problem in a short space of time, this is huge in my opinion, because this deadly illness is normally so silent. Keep going, don’t give up you will improve
Thank you so much and it means a lot! As I told Kathie below I was always told "suck it up and get over it" when I was young. Maybe it stems from never sharing or it maybe a number of things.
I do need to buckle down and get it under control because even though we have family time like I have mentioned on my website there is so much more I could have done to create memories in those times of isolation.
Kevin and Son