"A Hearty Laugh, A Healthy Heart!" (Affiliate Marketing and More. . .)

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Updated 10 years ago

Happy weekend, every1! Here’s a few cheesy jokes / quotes in the internet / affiliate marketing world can appreciate and more spices in life. I hope they make you LOL a little, {(;-).

Research has long associated anger and hostility with increased coronary-heart disease risk. Now, a recent study from cardiologists has shown that laughter have a beneficial effect on the heart. They found that people with heart disease were 40 percent less likely to use or see humor in situations than those without heart problems. Those with heart disorders said they don't laugh as much and are more angry and hostile than their healthy counterparts. As laughter can directly help the heart studies has shown that laughter is also beneficial for every system in the body.

Laughter is contagious. But don't worry about spreading it around, :-). Growing research suggests that regularly getting your giggles going offers several health benefits beyond the emotional ones. Specifically, laughing appears to have positive effects: Increase blood flow, Lower blood sugar, Regulate the immune system, Burn calories, Ease pain and lots more. So spend time each day having fun. It will brighten your day-and maybe provide a much-appreciated dose of mirthful medicine.

I read the articles and I thought they were funny (well, as funny as marketing can get) and decided to share . . . .

What Do Internet / Affiliate Marketing & Beautiful Women Have in Common? (by Carole Mahoney)

Setting: (Weekend Party)

You see a beautiful woman at a party. You walk up to her and say, “I am very rich. Marry me.” That’s DIRECT MARKETING.

You are at a party with a bunch of friends and see a beautiful woman. One of your friends goes up to her and pointing at you says, “He is very rich. Marry him.” That’s ADVERTISING.

You see a beautiful woman at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you called her and say, “Hi, I am very rich. Marry me.” That’s TELEMARKETING.

You are at a party and see a beautiful woman. You get up and straighten your tie, walk up to her and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, “By the way, I’m very rich. Will you marry me?” That’s PUBLIC RELATIONS.

You are at a party and a beautiful woman walks up to you and says, “You are very rich.” That’s BRAND RECOGNITION.

You see a beautiful woman at a party. You walk up to her and say, “I am very rich. Marry me.” She gives you a nice hard slap across your face. That’s CUSTOMER FEEDBACK.

You take a shower, shave and put on some clean clothes. You go to a party. Everyone in the room smells bad. A beautiful woman walks up to you and gives you her number. That’s INBOUND MARKETING.

More interesting and heart warming lines on internet / affiliate marketing: (by Casey Kurlander)

You see a beautiful woman at party. You make friends with everyone else in the room and they all tell her “He is very rich. Marry him.” That’s LINK BUILDING.

You see a beautiful woman at a party. You pay someone to go up to her, point to you and say “He is very rich. Marry him.” That’s AFFILIATE MARKETING. (lol!)

You are at a party and see a beautiful woman. You get her name, find her on Facebook, message her and say “Hi, I am very rich. Marry me.” That’s SOCIAL MEDIA MARKETING.

You see a beautiful woman at a party. You go up to her and get her email address. The next day you email her and say, “I am very rich. Marry me.” That’s EMAIL MARKETING.

The beautiful woman is at the party to find a man. The man knows this, and stands close enough so that she will notice him first. That’s SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMIZATION!

SEO Joke

I can't take credit for this but I thought I would pass it on cause it's geeky fun:
"So this SEO expert walks into a bar, grill, pub, public house, Irish bar, bartender, drinks, beer, wine, liquor"

More Spices in Life . . . . (wish you a hearty laugh / smile)

"A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: She changest it more often." - Oliver Herford (true!)

"A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man." - Lana Turner (Man, got to work and dream more at WA. :) )

"I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade.... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party." - Ron White {(;-)

"Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive." - Elbert Hubbard (hehe. . .)

"Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company." - Mark Twain (ouch!)

"Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please." - Mark Twain (is that you?)

"A single question can be more influential than a thousand statements." - Bo Bennett (Like!)

“My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was sixty. She's ninety-seven now, and we don't know where the hell she is.” - Ellen DeGeneres (dementia, Alzheimer's, ALS? . . no pls.)