CHOOSE an ATTITUDE
Stuff happens – all the time, if not to me, then it’s to you, or you and you. Sometimes it’s great stuff, other times not so great. What we are never taught (well, not in my day anyway), is that the way we respond to ‘stuff’ is a matter of choice. What? You didn’t know that?
Seriously, yes, the way we respond to the events in our lives, especially those of the ‘not-so-good’ variety, is a matter of choice. However, we are so caught up in our habitual modes of thinking, translating, ascribing meaning, and then responding - all of which happens in a Nano-second - that we do not even realize that there is a choice. We have been programmed from birth by our parents, teachers, peers, culture, race, religion, social status - together with a goodly dollop of our own programming, according to how this input was received, interpreted and stored. Our responses, which are often immediate and automatic, have been formulated according to our beliefs and attitudes which are fed by our programs.
For example, we can be offended if someone judges us, but were we to realize that their judgement defines them more than it does us, that it is their problem, not ours, we can happily choose to be not offended at all.
The anger or disappointment we may have with someone, may stem from an expectation we have about how they should behave. Were you to realize that expecting others to behave in a way that suits you is unreasonable, you might choose to respond in another way.
Unless a catastrophe happens, happiness is also a matter of choice activated by our focusing on the positives in our lives instead of constantly complaining about the negatives. Focusing on the positives is a signal to the Universe to deliver more of the same. On the other hand, focusing on negatives will also produce more of the same – so, whatever you want delivered into your life is definitely a matter of your choice. So, what’ll it be?
A last cheering, positive, thought for next time when you are feeling unhappy ..... Just remember, that you’re the sperm that won the race!
Recent Comments
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Your blog picture made me laugh. Mariette I think our lives now are actually because of every single choice we have ever said or done in the past - whether 5 years or 5 minutes ago. Striving for happiness is always a great goal.
Yeah, aren't animals great - I love 'em!
Absolutely right, Annie. Our thoughts and actions shaped our lives up to now, and will do so for the future. That is what my website is about - please check it out (and if you have any constructive criticism it will be gladly accepted!).
http://yourwonderfulmind.com/
Mariette, I agree, we have a choice to continue our negative reactions or look into the reasons we have them and start focusing instead on the positive aspects of our lives. I enjoyed reading your post. Love the pics! ~ Jude
Hi there Jude, you got it! We always have choice if only we realized it. Even if you get stuck with a flat tyre by the side of the road, there are a number of choices you could make as to how to react. Everything happens for a reason - a flat tyre might have made you miss an accident up the road - y'never know!
Pics, yeah, aren't animals great? Who says they don't have emotions?
Yea, verily Mariette!
I've never before looked at myself as being a winner in a sperm race! Well, the egg was pretty lucky too, in that case! Some great imagery there...
Judgement - sometimes when I look at someone doing something I consider "silly" or "wrong", and think to criticise them for it, I pause a moment and think: "Hang on, I've done many sillier things than that myself!" Shut up. Move on. They must know the consequences of their actions. Or do they? I sure didn't at the time.
Thank you for a well thought out plan for positivity - we can all benefit from that!
:) george
Thank you George,
1. for being so positive, and
2. for making me laugh at your whacky humour - lucky egg indeed!
Forgot to add ... consequences are like good ol' Aussie boomerangs sometimes as they tend to turn around and hit us over the head when least expected. If not realised at the time, they soon will be!
Hi Mariette - I believe no criticism is justified unless it is constructive. No-one can really have an opinion unless they can say what they would do better. If they can't do that, and you can't learn from it and "evolve" then there is no point asking anyone for feedback.
All the best, Mark
Hey Mark, for a moment I thought you were warming up to criticise my blog - Phew!
Feedback is good if it is constructive, given gently, and with the best intentions.
..."The anger or disappointment we may have with someone, may stem from an expectation we have about how they should behave. Were you to realize that expecting others to behave in a way that suits you is unreasonable, you might choose to respond in another way"...
Great point. Nothing makes me madder than when I try to tell people that getting mad when people don't do what you expect them to means you're a control freak and they don't listen! :-)
Thanks Ithamar, exactly. It helps to stop and think when we feel any sort of emotion, for emotions arise from our large cache of stored programs - memories from the past. Some do not serve us well at all and the sooner we realize and change them, the better for us.
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bwahaha!! I won a race!!!