Family Drama During Holidays

Thanksgiving can be a family day of love and understanding, enjoying each other's company, and sharing beautiful family memories.

Or not; it can also be one of the most stressful times of the year with strong-willed people having opposite opinions are sitting around the same table - ready to rumble.

We all like to imagine our extended family can sit around the table enjoying a wonderful meal prepared by a group effort

But usually it is Mom who spend all day cooking while the rest of the family watches football on TV.

So by the time dinner rolls around, Mom is exhausted, the small kids are arguing because they are ignored by the parents, and the adults (using that term lightly) are fighting over the football game.

Instead of a Norman Rockwell thanksgiving meal, it is more like Game of Thrones.

Here are a few suggestions I have learned how to avoid family drama.

Set Boundaries

There have to be a few rules at the very get go.

If you are there, you are expected to do something about dinner.

If you don't cook, then you can start cleaning, washing dishes, getting the dish washer filled, setting the table, watching over the kids.

Everybody is told, politely, no arguing just for today.

Occasionally that might help.

Limit Alcohol

Having loud and opinionated Uncle Harry half drunk by the time dinner starts is not a good idea. While Uncle Harry might like to tell everybody how to live their lives, most do not want to hear it.

Limit to one drink during the day. Hopefully most will agree to that limit and drink other beverages that are laid out in advance.

This limit is particularly important if the guests are not staying over at night (avoid this at all costs). Hopefully most will leave the house to go to their own house to sleep it off.

The last thing you need is a trip from the police in the middle of the night.

Reasons to be Grateful

Thanksgiving at its core is to be thankful.

Everybody should know they are going to be expected to say at least one thing they are grateful for - and it has to be serious. No saying you are grateful for something with politics or religion.

Those are toxic topics that are off limits.

Everybody be prepared with their grateful speech so there is no awkward silence while somebody thinks of just one thing they appreciate about the family.

Try to Enjoy Yourself

The family should be encouraged to enjoy themselves (without alcohol).

Try to think of funny stores (not making fun of another family member, of course).

Just listening to our family interact should bring some happiness to our lives.

Maybe if toxic subjects are ignored and alcohol is limited, this might actually happen.

Somebody to Talk To (To Seek Refuge)

Things can still get out of hand - especially if several guests are at each other's throats.

It is best when random drama occurs that there is somebody you can talk with and just ignore the bad actors.

If people are insisting on arguing their point, there is little benefit in trying to intervene.

Seek refuge with somebody else.

Planning

Before Round One of the "fights" begins, it is important to set the rules with everybody as they enter the front door;

They are:

• Have fun,
• One drink max,
• No politics or religion,
• Every guest should find something they are grateful for,
• everybody has to help out with the dinner so the main cook does not get overwhelmed (and act out),
• everybody has to help clean up after the meal.

What are your plans to enforce peace during the holidays - do you have a special plan or just hope for the best.

I would love to get some more ideas.

Dave.