Recommended use of abusive words

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My father was probably born with running shoes. He has spent most of his life doing sport when not at work. He used to run an average of 1'800 km per year and ride his bicycle around 10'000 km per year, plus countless km Nordic-skiing and rowing.

He used his body till its limits and beyond, and his joints paid the biggest price. He can now barely walk as his kneecaps are too thin. Doctors told him to slow down 10 years ago, when he was 70, but he laughed at them and kept going.

Last month his heart said enough and started going into fibrillation several times a day. He spent 5 days in hospital and got medications that never took before. After less than 1 week out of hospital he unilaterally cut his pills to half and took a 2-hours ride on the bicycle. Then another ride the following day.

And then I had to take him to the ER. The nurse told him she would beat him if he ever got back there for the same thing. He smiled and thanked her, and the day after was back on the bicycle.

Two days later I was able to drag him to the cardiologist, who did something amazing. He abused my father like no one ever before. He spent almost half an hour of his precious time telling my father all the insults that I know of, while explaining to him exactly what could happen to him if he kept riding the bicycle and refused to take his medications.

He was VERY persuasive.

Now my father is sitting on a chair watching Giro d'Italia (an annual bicycle race around Italy) and taking all his pills on time. He's disgruntled. But he's alive and hopefully healing.

His heart is thanking the cardiologist. Me too.

Good manners are a must, we all agree on this. However sometimes we need to take a slightly different path to get to the desired results, and in this particular case I agree with the doctor's use of creative language.

I'm interested in your thoughts, opinions and particular cases :)

Alma

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Recent Comments

46

Some times as we get older and set in our ways, we do not listen like we should.
Glad that he listened this time. Have a great weekend.

Thanks, have a great weekend too.

I've heard of 'Tough Love", but that comes down to "Shock Love"! Good for you and the doctor.

"Shock love", a beautiful definition...)

Still love anyway then .... :))

sure, love..)

Sounds like you have had a very difficult time Alma, dealing with a parent who will not listen to good sense is difficult, so the doctor did the right thing. Hopefully, he will be around for a long time.Take care of yourself and keep smiling:-))
Steph

Thanks Steph :-))

Works for some but not all. It worked for my father too, who was bullheaded. Iam glad the DR. told him straight up. He lasted another 20 years.

Thanks Linda, that's good news :)

Interesting post. Sounds like the doctor gave your dad a real wake up call and it worked.
I don't know whether this method will always work but, as I think a lot of people don't like to be told what to do... Take for example smokers (I'm an ex-smoker so speaking from experience), you can tell them over and over all the bad things about smoking, but they still continue. It's only when they're ready and really want to give up that they stop. I actually would get annoyed when people would tell me off about my smoking habit, and would light up another in-spite of them. It sounds stupid to me now, but humans are strange beings.
Hope your dad is feeling better, and around for a long time to come

Yes, we're strange beings. We are "bastian contrario" (we do the exact opposite of what we're told just to annoy the other...). Not a smart move usually :D
Thanks for the well wishes for my dad.

It must be a very stressful time for him and the people who care about him. I can imagine that it must be very hard for such a physically active person to accept the limitations of an ageing body. But, I would feel happy that he still has such a strong spirit of independence. I suppose it's just a case of tempering it with some realism about what his body can really do. Best wishes to him getting well.

He's one of those men who never took medications and believes that food, exercise and rest are the only ingredients for a healthy life, and he is totally right. As you correctly say, he just needs to face his age and the limits coming with it. Thanks for the well wishes.

The cardiologist certainly had the right idea and it was probably easier for him, than for family, to tell your father what had to be said. I'm pleased he's listened! :)

Yes, I think the doctor could get away with it the way I couldn't... The important thing is that he's listened :)

Yes, sometimes we have to take the bull by the horns. We have to say the necessary words, even these words aren't kind.

In this case my father was the bull, and the doctor did take him by the horns, scolded him and spanked him a bit too :))

That's right.

Yes, sometimes it does take a different approach to snap a person back to a level way of thinking! Glad you got him taking better care of himself and hope he enjoys Gino d'italia. Regards, Lisa

Yes, he enjoys it, and can't wait to do the same soon :D
Regards, Alma

Sometimes it takes tough talk to get someone to not just hear, not to listen!

But to listen

True. Hearing and listening are not synonyms!

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