The Story of Emotional Intelligence
What is Emotional Intelligence?
Is the ability to identify and understand emotions -both your own and the emotions of others.
Research has shown that this is a rare and valuable asset. EI can help you build and strengthen relationships, defuse conflict, and improve overall job satisfaction.
Psychologists say that if you use these 10 phrases every day without even thinking about it, you have higher emotional intelligence than most people.
“Can you tell me more about that?”
“I hear you”
“I understand what you are saying but”
”How do you feel about it?”
“I am not sure what’s wrong. Could you explain the problem?”
“What do you mean?”
“I feel this way about…”
“I’m Sorry”
”Can you clarify that for me?”
“Or what I am hearing from you that (X) is that right?”
Characteristics of an Emotionally Intelligent Person
People who lack self-awareness only care about their own thoughts and opinions. But emotionally intelligent people are interested in how others feel and what they have to say.
EI people communicate in a way that encourages people to talk about their feelings and experiences and use their responses as learning opportunity.
Listening and Understanding
By telling someone that you understand them, you set up a cooperative environment perfect for team-building. Other similar phrases like "I see what you mean" and “I get what you are driving at” signal that you are truly listening and opens up the lines of communication.
The phrase highlights another important aspect of emotional intelligence. The ability to act diplomatically when dealing with difficult people and situations.
If you disagree with someone, express it in a tactful, non-confrontational way. The goal is to make it easier to arrive at mutually agreeable solution.
To make people feel acknowledged and respected, pay attention, and take time to understand and empathize with them. As you listen, make an effort to put yourself in their shoes in a meaningful way.
“I am not sure what’s wrong. Could you explain the problem?”
With this phrase, you know that someone is having an issue, and instead of reacting negatively, you invite them to share their thoughts.
Similar alternatives ”Can you clarify that for me?” “Or what I am hearing from you that (X) is that right?”
“What do you mean?”
When you asked someone for clarification you are asking them to say something in a different way or provide more information so that you understand them better. This is different from asking a person to repeat something.
Here are the 5 Components of Emotional Intelligence
- Self-Awareness - The ability to recognize and understand your own emotions and how they affect you.
- Self-Regulation - The ability to control your emotions and respond appropriately to various situations.
- Motivation - The drive to improve yourself and achieve your goals despite setbacks.
- Empathy - The capacity to understand other people's emotions and perspectives.
- Social Skills - The competency to build relationships, communicate effectively, and navigate social environments.
Using the AI Tool, Claude, I submitted the following prompt:
You are an instructor at the School of Emotional Intelligence. Your creative writing assignment is to write a short story about the importance of Emotional Intelligence. The scene is set in a small neighborhood store that sells plus size clothing for adolescents.
The Maple Avenue Plus Case Study
Maple Avenue was a quaint little neighborhood in the suburb of Plusville. The houses were all brightly colored with lush, green lawns, and the streets were lined with tall oak trees that provided shade on hot summer days. Nestled between a coffee shop and a family-owned bakery was Plus Size Shop; the only clothing store in town that specialized in plus-size apparel for adolescents.
Inside Maple Avenue Plus, soft music played overhead as customers browsed the racks and racks of trendy, stylish clothes sized 14 and up. At the front of the store, 17-year-old Sarah was folding a table of graphic tees when the chimes above the door announced a new customer.
"Welcome to MAP! Let me know if you need any help finding something," Sarah said cheerfully. The customer, a boy who looked about 15 years old, gave Sarah a small nod before lowering his eyes and walking further into the store. Sarah noticed the boy's hunched shoulders and air of discomfort as he silently began looking through a display of hoodies.
Just then, the door chimed again, and an older woman walked in. "Hi there, I'm Veronica. My son is around here somewhere..." she said, craning her neck to spot the boy.
"No problem, take your time looking around," said Sarah. She remembered how insecure she had felt at that boy's age about shopping for plus-size clothing. Back then, she didn't understand why the sizes were different or why she had to shop at a "special" store. All she knew was that she felt ashamed and embarrassed about her body.
Veronica soon found her son, Matt, sitting on a bench staring blankly at a pair of jeans. "Find anything yet?" she asked. Matt just shrugged in reply.
"Don't give me that, Matt. You're not leaving this store until you pick out some new school clothes." Veronica's tone was firm but caring.
"Whatever, mom. Nothing looks good," Matt mumbled under his breath.
Veronica's face softened as she sat down next to her son. "Honey, I know clothes shopping isn't your favorite thing. But you've grown out of most of your old stuff. I want you to have nice outfits that help you feel confident at school."
Matt sighed, his eyes still downcast. "I just feel...weird shopping here. Like I'm too big and don't belong in normal stores."
Veronica put her arm around Matt's shoulder and spoke gently. "Matt, look at me. Your size doesn't define who you are. Plus makes fashionable clothes that fit so you can express your style. I know you loved that cool Nasa hoodie we got here last time."
"Yeah..." said Matt, cracking a small smile.
"So let's have an open mind and find some new clothes you feel amazing in, okay?" said Veronica.
"Okay, mom. Thanks," said Matt. Veronica smiled and they got up to browse the store together.
Sarah had overheard the conversation while organizing clothes at a nearby rack. She felt touched seeing the care and emotional intelligence Veronica displayed toward her son.
Though Veronica remained firm that Matt needed new clothes, she took the time to understand his feelings of embarrassment and validated that those feelings were normal. Sarah knew from experience how much a parent's sensitive, compassionate approach could positively impact a child's self-esteem.
Just then, the front door opened again. and a tall, heavyset man walked in holding the hand of a young girl who looked about 7 years old. The man, who appeared to be the girl's father, approached Sarah.
"Welcome! Is there anything I can help you find today?" asked Sarah.
"Yes, thank you. I'm looking for some dresses for my daughter, Sophie. Something comfortable she can play in," said the father warmly.
"Of course, our dress section is right over here," said Sarah, leading them to a display of colorful, patterned dresses in soft knit fabrics. "Is there any particular style you're looking for?"
Sophie hid shyly behind her father's leg, peeking her head out to look at the dresses. "It's okay sweetie, you can pick any style you like," said her father gently.
The father began looking through the dresses, holding them up to show Sophie. "Ooh, look at this one with the unicorns! Do you like it?"
Sophie nodded enthusiastically. Sarah helped them select a few stretchy, twirly dresses in Sophie's size.
At the register, Sarah told them, "You picked out some really cute dresses! Sophie is going to look so pretty playing dress-up.
"Thank you," said Sophie's father. He turned to his daughter and said, "See Sophie, these dresses fit you perfectly. The most important thing is that you feel comfortable and can play without worrying about your clothes."
Sophie smiled up at her dad before skipping out of the store in her new unicorn dress.
Sarah's heart warmed seeing the loving exchange between Sophie and her father. Though Sophie was shy about her body, her father's words of affirmation helped put her at ease. He showed emotional intelligence by keeping the focus on Sophie feeling carefree and happy versus fretting about fit or size.
As Sarah finished ringing them up, she said, "You're a great dad. Sophie is lucky to have you."
The father smiled. "Thank you. I just want her to know she's perfect the way she is."
Interactions like those reminded Sarah why she loved working at Plus Fit. The store helped teens and kids discover clothes that fit well so they could feel confident about themselves.
And caring parents like Veronica and Sophie's dad used emotional intelligence to assure their children they were loved and accepted as they were. Though Sarah couldn't control other people's opinions, she felt proud helping customers of all ages feel comfortable and empowered. ~ The End ~
What are other places to use emotional intelligence?
TheRachele
Recent Comments
20
Affirmation.
Emotional Intelligence
Conflict Resolution
Self-confidence
HUMP Day
to name a few.
Do I owe you an apology or was it someone else that you were referring to?
Remain awesome.
Hi there, Paul.
How's going? Thank you for stopping by. I always appreciate your kindness and consideration. You don't owe me an apology. All is well.
Happy Wednesday!
Rachele
All is well, Rachele.
I thought I made a boo-boo a few weeks ago and ruffled a few feathers with a comment here at WA.
Partha and Diane.
I respect them both and hold them in good form.
Take wonderful care.
You are awesome. Do you have websites?
Paul.
Thanks Paul.
I have a website that I am working on. In fact, I am trying to work on my cornerstone posts. My goal is to connect these posts with my pillar post before 2024.
One of the nice luxuries we have as affiliate marketers is that we can contribute posts and make comments on other posts. What may be a good comment to one person, could offend another person. The glass can be half full or half empty. I try not to take things personal.
Partha and Diane are the top-tier team of WA. In fact, if I were to ever become rich, I would send them an offer they would not refuse.
Yes, I have a website. However, it is under construction right now. Give it a few months out and it will be good to go. I'll keep you posted.
You are among the best. Thank you.
Have a look here at one of my sites:
I promote Wealthy Affiliate.
I'm not sure that I do it well.
https://theforensicaffiliate.com/about-paul/
You are correct. We can. And what may be a good comment to one will be nasty to another,
When you become rich you will send offers of no refute.
I would be glad to stand by your side.
Send me your website details.
You seem like a very wonderful person.
Take good care.
Alrighty my friend, Paul.
Flattery will get you everywhere, Paul (lol). I'll DM you as soon as I get a break. I try to be the best version of myself; a work in progress.
My goal is to make a small difference in the world. Treat everyone with dignity and respect that I come in contact with.
One of my purposes in life is to help put the lives of individuals, couples, families, and groups back together. This is my job and it is what I do best.
Trying to do this with my own family is a whole other blog post. There is always a unique twists and turns in life ✍️(◔◡◔).
Got a plane to catch!
Rachele
Well done, I grew up taller than a lot of my friends. I really didn't understand why I had to buy jeans in the guys section, but to have jeans, that is what I did.
Self-confidence about our bodies comes in many forms, and is fragile.
It starts when we are young,
Sami
Hi there, Shelly.
Thank you for stopping by. I really appreciate your feedback. This is great information. I had to have plus size cloths during middle school for a while. After I started playing volley ball things started to change.
Self confidence does start during our youth, especially when we are forming our identities. The peer pressure can be fierce. We have to empower kids to accept who they are.
Rachele
Happy Hump Day, my friend.
I am just signing off. Be back later after a little shut-eye.
Rachele
See more comments
Hello, Rachele. I hope you are well. Great post. Kids these days need that kind of love and make their kids more confident.
Not just kids, though; everyone sometimes needs a positive push.
Chet
Absolutely!
Thanks for stopping by.
Emotional Intelligence applies to all ages. You are absolutely right. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I always appreciate your feedback.
Rachele