In Memory of the Jessica's
This story was inspired by Arick's New family member Ashley the poodle
Lovely story Arick, animals especially Dogs can bring a lot of joy into your Lives but also a lot of sadness, When I was living in England I had two Long haired German shepherds I named the first one Jessie she was so Faithful I walked her every day she was such a gentle Dog not an aggressive bone in her body she never growled at anyone or anything everyone loved her and her personality she was very much part of our family, when she was a bout 6.1/2 years old she started to have problems with her back legs she was dragging her rear legs, We thought that she had a common problem that many larger breeds have, called Hip dysplasia her problem got so bad she could not walk I had to hold her back legs up so she could go out to do her business, and the way she looked at me indicated that she was very unhappy, we had taken her to the vets and after many tests the vet told me that she had a fused disk in her spine he said that it could be operated on but the chances of a successful outcome was very remote and he advised against it and suggested that we had her put down , I fought against this she was an integral part of our family and I suppose I was being very selfish.
Eventually I couldn't look her in the eyes any Longer, I took her to the vets and asked him to Put her down, I stayed with her all through the procedure and I swear when she finally closed her eyes going to her final rest she looked at me and I am sure through my tears that she was thanking me for what I had done for her that was almost twenty years ago and to this day whenever I think of her or in this case write about her I cry , As I didn't believe I could ever find another shepherd, I spent the next years without a dog.
Then one day my eldest daughter Emma who was working at a local stables came home from work telling us that the stables also bred german shepherd and that they had just had a litter of Beautiful puppies, I Just had to go and see them , when I got to the stables the next day Emma took me to the Kennels to see the puppies they were just three days old, three dogs and two bitches, absolutely adorable for the next 10 weeks I saw them nearly every day and got so attached to one of the bitch puppies who I swear was a reincarnation of Jessie and she had fallen in Love with me I asked the Owner if I could buy her at five weeks and she said that after she had been checked and certified I could take her for my own by now her markings were just perfect just like my first Jessie she even waited for me to arrive each day at the stables and after the 10th week when she had been checked and certified as sound, had all her Puppy injections distemper etc I took her home and she very quickly became part of our family Everything about her reminded me of Jessie her mannerisms the way she ate the corners of my toast in the morning and how she liked marmalade she was in fact another Jessie we had named her Jessie 2 we never used the 2 just Jessie everyone in the Village who saw her on our walks said how much she reminded them of the 1st Jessie , Even peter the cat used to walk with us and Jessie 2 got quite irritated if for any reason Peter wasnt with us, I tried to teach her how to Rabbit when I went shooting but all she would do was look at them never hurt them in any way, Jessie was a gentle soul The only Time I can ever remember her barking at anybody was when a man was hitting another dog with a stick, If I had let her off the leash I swear she would have attacked him, she loved everyone and everything she was however very protective of my two daughters and god help anyone who made any threatening gestures towards them.
You could interfere with her food when she was eating take Bones from her anything like that and she wouldnt turn a hair, she was a true example of a german shepherd, But so completely unaggressive, her personality was perfect.
We all loved her so much and then at 6 years of age she started showing very similar symptoms that Jessie 1 had, her back legs started to not work properly I couldn't believe that it could happen again, I took her to the vets again the same vet as before and he did all the tests and took xrays of her hips and back and also could not believe that I had two Shepherds with exactly to same thing wrong with them, a fused spinal disk, he said it would only get worse that without an operation would never get better and gave me the same chances of a successful operation as he had previously given for Jessie 1.
It wasn't the cost it was of the operation it was the chances of success that was the deciding factor the vet said she would be OK for at least another year as long as we stopped her jumping up or getting to actively excited, she would be able to live a comparatively normal life without any pain But that I would know when I had to have her put down.
I was heartbroken, I spent the next year taking her everywhere with me to my work, I took her swimming because she had developed a great liking for it, I'd read somewhere that swimming was good for dogs with Jesse's condition and she certainly seemed very happy with this activity and the vet said it could help her, certainly couldn't do her any harm so I took her for a walk everyday up to the lake and she could swim to her hearts content we would also walked along the canal near our house and I would keep her on a leash while she swam in it.
She went to the vets clinic once a month for physiotherapy but he said that her condition was getting worse on one of these visits the Vet told me that they had developed a new procedure at the Royal Veterinary College that had a better success rate than previously, he said that they were still perfecting this procedure and that they were looking for dogs at a certain stage with this condition to operate on the vet told me he could set up an appointment for me at the college to see if Jessie would be a suitable candidate for them, so off we went to the college where she had all the tests many xrays, the prognosis was that she was to far advanced and would not be suitable for the operation so we went back home literally with our tails between our legs , but it was worth the effort and If I hadn't tried we would never have known.
Jessies 2's condition was now getting just like Jessie 1's she was dragging her legs behind her she couldn't go for walks anymore she could barely swim and looked so unhappy all the time and I knew that the end was very near , I remember that one night near my sixtyeth birthday I lay in my bed crying like a baby because I knew the time was fast approaching when I would have to make that terrible journey to the Vets to have her put down, various friends had offered to do it for me but I knew it had to be me and that I had to prepare myself for that fateful day.
On the Sunday before my birthday almost Jessies 7th Birthday I could bear the pain and sadness I saw in her eyes no longer, I took her bed out to my car and carried her out and put her in it rang the vet and told him of my decision he agreed and said it was for the best So drove to the Vets with tears in my eyes and sadness in my heart and that feeling of Deja Vu, and stayed with her all through the procedure, I even think the vet was upset because he had known Jessie for most of her life.
I couldn't go home I was in such despair, I must have walked for over 10 miles that day trying to rid myself of that completely lost feeling, my heart was broken over a dog that I had loved so completely and she had loved me with a dogs faithfulness and Trust the way only a dog can.
I still often think about my two Jessie's and it saddens me until I think of how fortunate I was to have had their Love and trust and their company for 14 years and all the great times we spent together, but I swear that I will not have another Dog until it can outlive me.
In Loving Memory of my Two Jessie's
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Here's to the 2 Jessie's. When you open your self to love you will get hurt. It is so worth it. Thanks for sharing your story.
Our dogs are part of our families, no doubt about it Ray, and I have suffered the same feeling as you in that I did not want another dog until one could outlive me, at one time. Your situation is so unique because of if happening twice like that, that is just a very rough situation and I am sorry. The thing is, all living things eventually die, so the question I asked myself is, Do I want to give comfort and joy to an animal who has none, for whatever time it has on this earth, regardless of the pain it may cause my heart when it passes, or do I just want to maintain the status quo, while protecting myself from any possible pain? Just a thought.....
Jack
I have to say I have never replace our beloved german shepherd Rambo the children loved him so, Bunn is so right they are very much a part of our family loved by all ,, sorry for your loss and I hope in time the happy memories of times together eases your pain
So so sorry, Ray. Dogs are our family. Irreplaceable But maybe, like you did with Jessie 2, you can love another one day if or when you are ready. You have a heart big enough to give again. Blessings to you, Ray, and I hope the pain eases up.
Ray, my story with my Dottie--half Huskey and half Border Collie--who looked more dingo than anything, but with such a gentle soul as well. She loved children, even toddlers. When they ran up to her, parents would panic at the sight of her, but their hearts would soon melt, as Dottie would just sit down, let the toddler throw their arms around her neck, and she would lean into them as if she were hugging them back. Then the Mother of the child would always exclaim, "Wow, what a great dog you have!" I would just say that it was because she was MY dog!
But one winter she became very off balance and fell over out in the snow.I had to help her up. She couldn't walk for a few days, but the Lord suddenly gave me a revelation that He would heal her. So I began decreeing the word the Lord gave me for her healing out loud at her and the angels that were around us were encouraging her to stand up and walk. She actually got up and carefully walked over to her water dish and drank! She recovered quickly, but the next winter was the decision maker because she got ill again.
Now Dottie had a huge vocabulary and I had taught her how to say "God Bless you!" and "I Love you!" But this time when my personal care attendant showed up that morning, she whined, looked at her, and said, "Help ME!" I was flabberghasted to say the least. Well, my personal care attendant picked her up and put her in her car and off to the vets we went to send Dottie home to live with the Lord till I could be there with her.
I, too, stayed with Dottie through the procedure, crying like a baby. But the Lord let me see into heaven as she left. An angel had escorted to the Lord Jesus and he was petting and loving on her and welcoming her home. Then Dottie turned around and sat down at Jesus side, looked at me, and said, "I LOVE YOU! GOD BLESS YOU! THANK YOU FOR RELEASING ME TO COME HOME!" Well, I was totally undone at that point. I took me almost another year before I got another Therapy Dog. I didn't want to love another dog so I wouldn't hurt so bad next time, but Sweet Sadie has worked her charms on me. I am so grateful for her. Sadie not only keeps me company, but she can tell me before I have a low blood sugar spell too. That is a value added plus.
Sweet Sadie just turned 8 and I know that some day, the time will come when I will have to escort her so she can also be released from a body that grows old--just like we humans do.
Blessings to you my friend, Ray. I totally understand. Ms Terry Ash
Ray, I can identify with your losses... We can learn so much from keeping dogs and they too have to go through the life-cycle like man do. Try to remember their best time with you and I'm sure they too are grateful that you cherish the fond memories of them.
Ray, I can totally understand how you must have felt and am dreading the time.... I have a chocolate labrador bitch whom I love with all my heart. She will be 7 in August.
I don't know if you are familiar with the story of the Rainbow Bridge. Here it is for anyone who has ever loved a pet that has gone to Rainbow Bridge...
http://petloss.com/rainbowbridge.htm
Jessie 2 came into your life because she knew you would do the right thing at the right time. A beautiful tribute to two lovable members of your family. ~Jude
Sad story Ray, damn dust in my eye, I remember our German Shepherd 'Rex' having to be put down for something he had. I still remember dad coming home with just his collar. I've been thinking of getting another and when I work out where I'm going to settle down I'll decide then, but it'll probably be a Shepherd again. Thanks for sharing.
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Are the years of joy, to you and to your fabulous companion, not worth giving another to another life?
I cannot control when they leave me, but when they do and the pain is more than I think I can bear, only another life to share fills the gap enough to survive the loss.