Depression bipolar and PTSD is rearing its head
This is an unual blog because I am talking about mental illness today because many of you know that I have depression, bipolar, and PTSD. I am so sorry that I haven't been really active lately because it has been rearing it ugly head. I have been having a hard time and I haven't been working because of it or even blogging.
My doctor say it has to do with the change of weather which it does because the weather does have an effect on bipolar patiences along with depression as far as the PTSD is concern it just jumps on the wagon for the ride.
It is hard to describe how it feels because you really don't feel anything just going through the motions. It is hard to come of it but I am coming out of it because of my medication. My doctor and therapist already know and I just have to continue what I am doing. It could be worse but it is not.
I just wanted to touch base and let everyone know why I haven't been on lately or posting any blogs. My rank has suffered because of it too. But I am not worry because I am focussing on my site more so then anything else.
Right now I am not feeling anything because I can't I am just going through the motions like I said earlier in my post. The one thing is I am always good at being postive and encouraging and inspiring to others but I am not for myself and that is one thing that I have to work for me.
I am happy for others and I am happy to encourage others because I love and enjoy helping others that is the key to our business. What I am saying that I can't help myself. I never could and I am in the process of changing that because I am working on helping me. I have to because having mental illness is not easy to deal with.
People in general don't understand mental illness at all. They put a stigma on people with mental illness and they shouldn't. If you want to know something ask questions because that is how we learn. Please don't put a stigma on people with mental illness. It makes the illness worse.
And we shouldn't judge people with mental illness. Like I said ask questions that will help you understand about mental illness. I am challenging anyone here at WA to ask questions to help you understand about mental illness.
If I don't have the answer I will find out the answe for you. And one more thing don't ever be afraid of mental illness. There is nothing to be afraid of just the not knowing is cause of fear. But knowing is half the battle.
I will encourage questions and comments about this subjects because knowing is half the battle. Thank you in advance for your questions and comments. I appreciate your concern and your love and your support. You are my WA family and you all needed to know what is going on.
Recent Comments
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i respect you first as a human being. but being able to share your private life here is absolutely brave and i respect you even more.
It is so easy for me to say i am praying for you in text when i really want to do more, but i am limited in every sense.
I understand that there are all kinds of believe systems out there, But what i believe is that God is ever so close to help us through strange and inconvenient moments in our lives if we lean on Him.
May God grant you peace that supersedes all understanding.
i Hope you feel better quickly to cruuuuush it like a pro in business Lol.
YOU WILL MAKE IT.
Sam
Thank you, Sam, I really appreciate your words of encouragement because you are right God will get me through as long as I lean on him.
Thank you for the reminder of that. I have the tendency of forgetting about how God works sometimes and he doesn't let us go through more than we can handle.
I am a Christian myself and I am a pastor wife and I should know this but you know we sometimes forget who we are with and working for.
Thank you for the encouragement I realize that I already thank you for that but it is important to me that you have done your job as to remind me something that I have forgotten.
Best wishes to you and your journey with WA.
Mary
Hello Kindred Spirit, I too have Bi-polar and social anxiety with borderline PTSD from my time in fire/rescue and a couple of deaths I saw at a young age I can relate to what you are going through. There are days you just feel sad or angry and don't know why other days you just seem to survive with nothing bad but nothing really good to show for it either. They just keep telling you to take these pills it will get better soon etc.. but the pills make you feel funny and the high is artificial. Still you look for the positive.
I get extremely motivational when my spirits are at their lowest. Like Robin Williams, I clown around and am very outgoing when I really want to shut everything out. You feel like crying for help but hardly anyone knows how to help you and you don't know how to help yourself not feel this way.
I am here if you need someone to vent to, talk to, or just sit there and look all knowingly and silent.
Thank you so much I am really appreciating you right now because you know how I feel. You have hit the nail on the head. That is how I exactly feel. I feel like crying but my husband doesn't understand every about bipolar so he doesn't know how to help me.
He then gets frustrated because of it. I know how to help him but I can't help myself. So I just muddled through every day and pray that each day will be better than the last one. Sometimes it is and sometimes it isn't. So I just covered my head up and stay in bed.
Yes I will take you up on your offer and we can chat and you can chat with me too. Knowing that we have the same illness we can help each other out. That would be great to have someone to talk with that understands what we are going through.
Mary
No stigma here. But for the grace . . . I have worked with mental illness and know that it can affect anyone. I suffer from anxiety and have full-blown panic attacks occasionally.
It sounds like you are taking care of yourself and you will come out of this episode.
There should be no stigma attached to this because so many of us suffer from some form of mental illness. Yet, it is still hidden.
I'm so sorry that you are feeling badly right now. You will get better and you know that. Hang in there.
There are people here that care about you. And I'm sure there are others too.
I wish you all the best and that you come out of this soon.
-Suzanne
Thank you, Suzanne, I have a caring family here at WA. It is just I have no interest in doing anything right now and my business is suffering from this. When I have a set back I play catch up and I am really trying to stay above water here.
I just can't function when I get this way and I don't know what to do about it either. So I blog about it today. I am happy to hear that there is no stigma here about mental illness.
I am holding on and taking one day at a time that is all I can do at this point. Thank you again, Suzanne, I really appreciate your comment.
Mary
Difficult topic to write about Mary, and even more so when it affects yourself. I think in todays society we understand mental illness so much better. Just because we cant put a plaster on it or rub in an ointment, doesn't make it any less a condition, the same as having multiple sclerosis or cerebral palsy. I have triplets. They were very premature, and my son has cerebral palsy.. .I have to be honest at the time they were born, I prayed that they would not have any mental issues.. I was told that one would have a mental retardation. My world collapsed. The doctors were wrong though, she hasn't. But it wasnt because I didnt want the stigma of a child with retardation but it was the grief that my child's life had been snatched away before it had begun. My son does have physical disabilities but some psychological too. He does have depression which he was embarrassed to admit, fearing we would judge him as weak. He could not be more wrong. We embrace his honesty and support him in every way we can.
Palsy is a rough one because everyone treats you like you are contagious like some form of modern Typhoid Mary or Lazarus. I will keep your family in my prayers. Thank you for your strength.
Thank you for sharing! This is such an important issue, and I think the more people can learn about pain like what you are dealing with right now, the more people can understand. Knowledge is power. I too struggle with depression, and it is so difficult to talk about with people who don't understand and want you just to "snap out of it". They don't understand that isn't possible.
Just please be good to yourself right now, and know that you have lots of love and support here at WA.
Thank you for being open and vulnerable,
Brooke
Yes, I agree with you they can learn if they want to. That is the problem people don't want to learn about mental illnesses. They don't understand the pain that we are in.
If more people would listen and want to learn about mental illness things would be a lot better in this world. You are right knowledge is power.
Yes it is because they think we can shrug it off or just snap out of it but we can't we need time and the right medication to do that. But we can live very productive lives in society.
Thank you I am being good to myself by getting lots of rest and taking it easy once again. And thank you for the love and support I really appreciate that so very much.
You are so very welcome
Mary
Mary, we truly understand.
Each of us has a sibling who is bi-polar. My mother (Colette) also had depression for which she did not seek out help and she suffered her entire life with it. Depression is not something you can "just get over" or "snap out of".
The thing with it is that people can't see it when they look at you, but it is there nevertheless.
Our hearts are with you and we send you a big hug.
Colette and Philip
Thank you so much, Colette and Philip, I am so happy that you understand about depression and bipolar because the general public doesn't and that is very bothersome to me.
So many people suffer from both illnesses or just one or other. You are so right you can't just get over it or snap out it because it is something that takes time with the right medication if you are with a good doctor that is.
So many people can't afford the doctor's or the medication so they do without and they get worse and that is when society shunned them.
That is why we have to do more for the mentally ill by getting the word out about there illnesses and encourage them to talk for themselves too.
The more the public is aware of the issues they will want to help more people out with mental illnesses then. That is a hope and dream of mine anyway.
That is why I talk about it so much here so people are aware of the issues.
Mary
Hi, Mary,
Just lets say I am thinking of you. It is an awful time when you have those bad moments. I know how it feels and it is no laughing matter. I can almost see it in your writing.
You have my support and I am thinking of you. Need to chat you know I am here. Just want to send you a Big E hug. Take care. Mary thinking of you right now. x
Debs 😘
Thank you so much, Debs, I really appreciate that because sometimes it the hugs that help the most. Yes, it is very bad when you have those moments because you don't want to do anything you can't function at all.
Yes, I can't hide anything that is why I like to write so much. My writing says it all because that is how I get my feelings out sometimes when I up to it.
That is why I enjoy WA so much because I can write all the time and as much as I want to. Thank you so much for the support that helps too alot. Because many people don't have that support and that is very bad.
You are a great friend Debs and I really appreciate you too.
Thank you for the E hug
Mary xoxo
I am a PTSD so I totally relate to you. You know where I am if you need me right there in our PM. I get you.
I am always going to be there for you Mary x
Debs :))
Thank you, Debs, I appreciate that so very much and I will be there for you as well.
Always
Mary xoxo
Most people run a mile when they hear a family member or friend has depression. I have several friends who suffer from depression and I am okay with that. It gets heavy sometimes but I can handle it.
There are times when words are not needed. Just a hug or hugs will do but keep in touch constantly.
Depression is not an infectious disease. Showing empathy helps that person feel that he or she is not alone
You and any person who suffer from depression are very brave to talk openly about it
Thanks for sharing
Richard
Thank you for your kind words Richard I really appreciate that so very much it gives me hope in people. And you are so right sometimes words are not needed but people run away from it thinking they can catch it but you can't catch something like this.
It is an illness like anything else in this world. I am so glad that you are not the one that runs away from it. That is why so many people that has depression talks about it to makes awareness about it.
The more education the public will have about it the more they will accept it and won't run away from it. I have been bipolar and have had depression since my twenties so I have had it for over thirties years.
I am still learning about depression and bipolar I have to so that I can educate others about it. We need to start embracing people with mental illness and realize that they are in need of help and not be shunned from society.
I apologize for being on my soapbox but this is something that I am passionate about because I have seen it first hand not only from my own experience.
I have seen it in the veterans who are having a hard time with this especially with PTSD many people don't want to learn about it but it is an illness just like everything else.
It is sad because there is nothing wrong with it you are only sick that's all.
Thank you once again
Mary
A great share and a huge deal. Your candor is exceptional. I think the stigma, although not gone, is receding in some areas. Posts like yours only help to strengthen resolve when it comes to making people aware. Like you say, a lack of understanding needs to be addressed. Thoughts are with you.
Thank you for your thoughts and yes it is a huge deal. I have to be candor because it helps me also not to be afraid and run away from this because in the past I would run away until I got the right medication in my system.
Yes, that is why I posted this particular post to help make people aware.
Mary
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Hey there Mary,
Please know that you are definitely not alone in your illness. You seem to have things covered in the medical department, and you're able to go through the motions so that's good steps to getting back on track. And you have all of us here at WA to lend and ear and a post, like right now.
I live with co-conditions-- PTSD/Manic Depression, ADHD and OCD. When I experience a clash of conditions they say it mirrors Bipolar especially if I get a PTSD trigger while having an streak of an epiphany in the creative zone. I get a super high mood and crash into a wall of dark depression, but at the same time. I do heavy meds in cycles or in situational needs because the side effects of each aren't the best, nor can I take certain ones with others. Like right now I have grad school pressures and need my ADHD meds, but sometimes the med that works best to focus me triggers ideation which is a no-no as you know.
I've been a prayer maker since before the womb. I believe in many things with a central source. Lately with everyone finally getting on board with the benefits of mindfulness and gratitude, I find I do lots more meditation and breathing when I need to in public because people don't find it so new-age and strange anymore. Funny how in our society it would be nothing for me to stop open my purse and take a pill with water in public, but closing my eyes, breathing deeply and counting to 8 to re-center gets quizzical stares.
Most people in my life don't know my official diagnosis. I find it just helps me not to have to help them to deal with their sadness about me. So for the most part I let them all think I'm "weird in a nice way". Some say I'm a drama magnet or the funny life of the party. Yet others say that I'm unlucky to have so many things to deal with. I find many people I associate with avert their eyes because the honest way I deal with things are triggers for looking at their own unresolved stuff.
As for stigma? Most of the world is walking around with misdiagnosed and unmediated conditions as we are all painfully aware of. So do like me and tell folks who want to give the negative spin to cast the first stone if they truly can. They walk away every single time.
You have some conditions that I don't have but you seem to be coping just fine. Just like me, my conditions are for the most part are under control but I do have my triggers though. I still haven't figure out all my triggers yet I am still working on that part.
I do understand what you are going through and I am here if you ever want to chat because we all have to stick together because a lot of people don't understand what we are going through no matter how many times we try to explain how or what we are feeling if we are feeling anything at all.
So together we can conquer our feelings and get a lot of things out.
Mary