Fear.. i LoVe YoU!!!!!
I was 45 years old when coach asked for volunteers to chaperone to my daughter's volleyball team to Hawaii. I nearly jerked my arm out of the socket, it went up so fast. I win!
We had so much fun and during free time, we swam with sea turtles and went to watch the cliff diving exhibition in a cove at Waimea Bay. Now, I was a gymnast and did a bit of diving in high school, so I watched these guys vicariously feeling the rush of the fall. Afterward, we wandered out to the bay and watched people jump from the rock... about 40'... into the water below. My daughter and I climbed up and took the leap. I rotated backward and splatted on my butt and legs so hard that I was black and blue the next day. I stood below looking at the rock, both my pride and my butt stinging madly. I wanted to go again but I didn't want to experience that pain again. I thought about my back flips off a 3 meter board and how easy they were to control. I thought about the cliff divers. I could do this! I climbed back up, looked over the edge... it looked even higher than the time before but turning back was not an option. I turned around, back to the edge and composed myself. A local stood by, grinning and called me a "crazy howlie". My daughter was below, obnoxiously yelling at me to hurry because others were waiting. Yeah... you get up here and do this, Erin! I took a breath, spread my arms and trusting in myself, I pushed off and arched my back looking for the blue water that I knew was below me and that I would clear the rocks. I was able to control my rotation and I hit the water perfectly! A 10!!!! The coup de gras was that it was caught on film showing me in a perfect arch, high over the water, toes pointed... it was AWESOME! Sadly, I no longer have the proof... stolen along with my truck some years ago, but it's permanently etched in my brain. With my new found courage, it was a piece of cake to jump several more times and 10 years later, with my younger daughter, again a chaperone but for camp, I pulled off another backflip off a 30' rock into the river we were rafting, to the shock and awe of a gaggle of 6th graders. That one is on youtube! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8hoffHMsbZA 7.5 minutes in... not quite as graceful but, hey! I'd do again today!
This is not so much a brag fest... I do have a point.
I have come to LOVE fear because without fear, I would never have experienced the overwhelming rush of overcoming fear! And, I love, lovel, love that rush!
Fear in general, eludes me. I'm not afraid of bugs, lizards, snakes, heights, the dark, guns or even death. I do, however, have a healthy fear of dying broke. Being non-materialistic, poor I can handle but any similarity as a failure to be the legacy I leave my children and grandchildren? Not acceptable!
I have been scratching my head, praying, seeking answers to digging out of this hole I'm in and turning things around. A decent paying job at my age ain't happenin'. Besides... I don't really like working for others. I asked and the Universe (for me, God) answered. I am grateful that I have a plan, it's doable and I can see victory waiting around the corner and I'm jumping in! I won't be the fastest to get there but, dammit, I'll get there!
Come on in! The waters great!
Recent Comments
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What a fun read Carolann. I can see you diving as the words left the page.
Great way to encourage being a part of our learning curve here in the WA community. I see you writing your story one day and making that leap again into a published book. "-) Just me ... thinking out loud. "-)
Linda
How cool that you should say that!!! I have the idea and the title already! Thanks for boosting my confidence!!
Love ya, girl!
Red
I love your post about the Fear and such and I agree 100% in what you saying. Only a person can become fearless who has experienced fear as well.
Thanks for sharing.
I'm old and ain't got much dough... but, I have and love my 'tude! LOL!
Happy Tuesday! oooo.... reminds me. it's Taco Tuesday! 2/$1! Mi gusta tacos y cervesa! Adios, amigos!
Wow very exciting, sounds as if you have a lot of high energy. Hang in there and keep having fun...good luck and good life.
I have four sisters the two that have red hair were the risk takers so I agree it must be the red hair or their Irish blood...good luck and good life.
Great story. When I was younger, I did the same kind a thing with skydiving. It took me thirty years after a buddy got killed skydiving but I finally went up and did it. Talk about an adrenelen rush. No way I wanted to be remembered as a failure . Ha..ha This Internet Marketingis the same.. Good Luck with your website
I WANNA SKYDIVE!!!!
We have stuff in common! So glad we're friends!
Freeeeee Faaaaallllllin'!!!!
There is a quote of Thomas Edison's ,actually I believe I saw it on another members site any way old Tom says " I haven't failed I just found 10,000 things that didn't work" or something of that nature. You only fail when you give up. Your legacy is instilling that attitude in your children and you are showing them by example, keep it up.
Yes, I'm familiar with that quote and others by greats that have preceded us. The common denominator, in my opinion, was two fold... not giving up and believing they would succeed. It's kinda a chicken and the egg thing. You can't really have one without the other. Who would ever go on if they didn't believe they could succeed and who, if they believed they could succeed, would ever stop???
Aren't we a cool bunch?
Great post. You had me at FEAR. I couldn't help but notice there were no helmets when rafting. What fun the whole experience seemed to be.. Your backflip was amazing.
D, it was just a GREAT trip and I'm just tickled to death that you took the time to watch the video! Thank you! Kamp Kidder is a Christian Camp in No CA near OR border. We were on the river for 3 days, camping under the stars. We had a group of underprivileged kids that were so fun to work with. I could tell so many great stories from that trip! Bonding with my youngest was amazing! I've really been blessed with some fun moments!
Here's to more!
Carolann
Reminds me of our time in Alaska. There is nothing like bringing your kids to nature. There is so much to be learned just from being, never mind all the doing that needs to be done while out there. We, too, had many many fabulous memories from the Wilderness of Alaska. Lucky us!!
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What a great opportunity and challenge to achieve! Now this is just a new challenge to achieve! :)
Just the way I see it, too, Christa! Just the way I see it!