Watch Out For The Deep Water


Things Are Not Always As They Appear

When I was growing up, Mom and Dad were terrified of the water. We were not allowed to go swimming if we had eaten in the last 36 hours (ok, slight exaggeration) and we had to have at least three other people with us in case we were attacked by a shark. We live in the Midwest, there isn't a big incidence of fatal shark attacks here.

At bath time, we weren't allowed to have more than 2" of water in the tub. We could slip, fall and drown in the bathtub. Hey, it has happened!

Suffice to say, my siblings and I didn't learn how to swim.

The Tale of Terror

One beautiful spring day, a bunch of friends decided to skip school and go to a nearby recreational lake. (Don't tell my kids I actually skipped school. I lied and told them I never did such a despicable thing).

My friend Bobby's dad worked for an airline maintenance company and he got a rubber inner tube that had been on a big commercial airplane. We took it to the lake and aired it up. This tube was so huge, six of us could sit on it and float around. It was a great time.

My buddies and I paddled far away from the beach. We were hundreds of yards out in the water and I was a bit nervous. Remember, I couldn't swim at the time. Well as teen-aged boys will do, one pushed me off the tube and into the deep water. I was alarmed and began thrashing about in an attempt to keep my head above water.

I Couldn't Swim

I told my pals I couldn't swim and asked someone to help me back onto the tube.

The rescue effort: they paddled away from me to leave me to my fate. I couldn't believe my eyes and I called my former friends every foul name I could think of. I even made up some new 4-letter words. My pleas were ignored as my buddies continued to paddle further away from me. I heard them laughing.

I continued to thrash about when I remembered someone telling me most people can float on their backs. I tried that maneuver and it worked. I floated and paddled for what felt like hours. In reality, this entire event probably lasted five minutes.

Left To Die - Would A Stranger Save Me?

Then I spotted my possible salvation. We were at a fairly crowded beach. There were hundreds of people there and surely some compassionate, good swimmer, would come to my aid.

I called and called for help to those people on the beach. No one made an attempt to help me out of this serious plight. At first I thought perhaps they couldn't hear me and didn't realize what peril I faced.

Reality slapped me in the face when I noticed some of them pointing toward me and laughing.
How could this be? I lived in Kansas, home of nice people who help each other. They were ignoring me and were probably going to watch me drown in the lake. I was devastated.

I Gave Up

Eventually, I was completely drained of energy. I knew I couldn't continue thrashing about any longer and I had come to the conclusion that I was going to die. No, really.

As I gave up my hope of rescue, in exhaustion, my body relaxed and went limp. I was ready to meet my maker. My legs began to drift downward into the murky, watery depths that would surely be my grave.

As I began to sink, my foot touched something, then my other foot touched it too. I could actually touch bottom! As I lowered my legs I was able to stand up. The huge channel I was in was only 4 Feet deep and everyone there knew it but me. I was the entertainment of the day.

As I walked through the water back to the beach, I tried to avoid eye contact with all those people who had just watched me make a fool of myself. I told them it was all an act, but I think they knew the truth.

That day I learned a number of lessons:
  • Everything isn't always at it seems.
  • Evaluate everything before jumping to conclusions.
  • Don't worry about what others think of you.
  • Don't ever give up.
  • Real friends may push you in the deep water, but they'll never let you down.
So, when I get all down about money and other issues of life, I try to remember that day at Lake Perry in Kansas. I keep telling myself to keep thrashing about in this affiliate marketing arena – eventually I'll get to the point where I can stand up, and all will be right with the world.

I may have skipped school that day, but I got a heck of an education. Oh yeah, I eventually learned how to swim.


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Recent Comments


Dude you had me going... I was even getting the anxiety thing across the chest. Too many close calls myself! Thanks, thanks alot! (-:

I am trying to improve my writing skills. Maybe my bounce rate will improve if I can be a more riveting author? You think?

I think your writing skills are fine. You had me from the beginning. Just keep being yourself, you will do fine.

Thanks Craig. I think I like writing on the WA blogs because I can be more flexible. Writing is actually becoming fun. I look forward to doing it.

Yeah, I think so Kali... it's definitely working for me!!!

This is an interesting article provided. I do agree that " Everything is not always as it seems." In short,it's encouraging. Bye for now.

You have a talent for spinning a yarn- loved it!

Oops, I missed your last sentence. I guess you did learn to swim, good for you. It's one of those skills, like CPR, where you may never use it, but where you should know enough to save yourself or someone else, if the time comes.

I am totally cracking up right now. I know if I was one of your friends, I'd be dying, I'd be laughing so hard. I know that's awful, since you were probably traumatized for life, but from where I sit, this is hilarious. So did you ever learn to swim in all that? I don't know if I'd ever go near the water again, just from the memory of it. Well, you're alive and well, and can certainly entertain the multitudes with that one.

It is so windy today, it blew my water bottle right off the table. It was full too, 20 oz, and I saw it walking across the table, but I was too late. I was writing, trying to hold down my papers, then figured, this is ridiculous, so came inside. This is nice because it cools things down, but it's awful for all these fires happening right now. Last night on the news they said Black Forest is 100% contained, but that another fire had burned 9400 acres on the east side of Pikes Peak, and also Spanish Peak, wherever that is. This is a really awful year for fires, and I feel so bad for everyone, from people, to animals, to trees.

Anyway, back to my paperwork, now that I'm inside. Great post though, I really enjoyed it.

Yes. I learned to swim shortly after that horrific incident. And yes I was traumatized. It was a form of PTSD. I started college that fall and could not drink water, I relegated myself to drinking only beer. What a respite from the fear! :)

I like your way of dealing with it all!

Thanks for sharing. You are so entertaining! Keep it up. Love to read your life experiences.

You know, I faithfully read all the blogs I'm notified of, even though I do not comment on all of them. You--you're different, and between peals of laughter, I type up a comment.
Here's the comment: you are the only one who writes like you write with your kind of topic and you making fun of yourself. I'm not alone in loving your style. Your stories are a cartoon strip.So Good!

A while back, someone said they were proud that I told stories about myself and how he didn't think he could be that open. The truth is, the stories are real, but I never tell the really embarrassing stuff! These blogs let me spread my wings a bit and try to improve my writing style. If I mess up something here, it won't usually affect my ranking at Google. So, WAites, you are my proving ground!

Thanks for the support.

Kali, I'm sitting here today's kind of nursing a toothache. Feeling sorry for myself. Then I read your blog. The pain went away and was replaced by roaring laughter Thanks, bro.

Toothaches are the worst. Glad I could take your mind off the pain. I usually just hit my thumb with a hammer so I won't think about the tooth anymore. It works, but then I feel bad about my finger.

Hello Kali, I look forward to reading your posts so much. I'm pleased you learnt to swim. Take care, Jackie x

I miss your posts with all your escapades. I'm sure you're busy. I am finding this journey is becoming more and more time consuming but the excitement continues to build. I love coming to 'work' every day.


Great story! Very engaging with some valuable lessons.

Thanks. You know this has to be true. I'm not smart enough to make this stuff up.

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