The 7 Deadly SEO Errors
A Horror Story for Webmasters
Once upon a time, in the haunted realm of the internet, a brave webmaster embarked on a quest to rank their website on the coveted first page of Google. Little did they know, lurking in the shadows were the 7 Deadly SEO Errors... traps so sinister they could doom even the most promising website.
1. The Vanishing Act of Content Freshness
Legend has it that Google loves fresh content, but some webmasters never update their site, leaving it trapped in the dreaded "Outdated Abyss." No lastmod in XML sitemaps, no Last-Modified header, and not even an og:updated_time tag! Without these magical timestamps, search engines think your website was last updated in the Stone Age. Spoiler: they don't like that.
🦾 Trap Avoidance: Update your content regularly and tell Google about it, or risk being forgotten like MySpace.
2. The Minification Curse
Once upon a time, a CSS file took 5 seconds to load. "No big deal!" said the careless developer. But then the bounce rates rose… and the rankings fell.The culprit? Unminified CSS files so bloated they made a fast website feel like dial-up internet.
🦾 Trap Avoidance: Minify your CSS and JavaScript, or prepare for the slow, painful descent into ranking oblivion.
3. The Broken Link Graveyard
There’s nothing scarier than clicking on a promising link… only to land on a 404 ERROR! These ghostly broken links not only frustrate users but also terrify search engines, making them think your site is a haunted house of abandoned pages.
🦾 Trap Avoidance: Conduct regular audits and purge the broken links before they haunt your rankings.
4. The Keyword Cannibalization Catastrophe
What’s worse than no rankings? Competing with yourself for the same keyword! Imagine launching multiple pages for “Best Coffee Beans” only to have Google rank none of them. It’s an SEO tragedy... a self-inflicted wound!
🦾 Trap Avoidance: Optimize strategically, assign unique keywords per page, and stop sabotaging yourself!
5. The Image Apocalypse
A site filled with massive, unoptimized images is like an elephant trying to run a marathon. Users bounce, page speeds plummet, and Google shakes its virtual head in disappointment.
🦾 Trap Avoidance: Compress your images before they crush your SEO dreams.
6. The Mobile Friendliness Curse
"Who even uses a desktop anymore?" whispers Google ominously. Yet, some websites still look like a PowerPoint slide from 2005 when viewed on a phone. Google’s Mobile-First Index does not forgive.
🦾 Trap Avoidance: Make sure your site is mobile-friendly, or get ghosted by search rankings.
7. The Meta Description Black Hole
Search engines are like vampires... they need enticing descriptions to lure users in. Yet, some webmasters leave their meta descriptions blank or duplicate them across pages. The horror!
🦾 Trap Avoidance: Write compelling meta descriptions that tell users (and Google) why your page is worth clicking on.
Final Warning: If you find yourself trapped in these SEO errors, fear not! Each of them can be fixed with a bit of effort and an exorcism performed by proper optimization techniques.
May your rankings be ever high and your bounce rates low! 😏
Tell me, what is your secret sauce? Hosting, plugins, theme... outsourcing...
Recent Comments
32
Thanks for the simple but very effective take here. I'm going through my sites currently trying to fix a lot of these things. However, I do have to pick you up on one thing... if it was me against an elephant in a marathon, the elephant would definitely win!! :)
Have a great day, my friend.
Gail
This is a great read, thank you.
How many plugins do you use, at one time, and what do you use to check broken links?
Hi Katherine
Hosting here at wealthy affiliate includes a lot of advantages regarding spam protection, speed and ssl. WA also provides a plugin for seo and image optimisation. No extra need for those....
As for the broken links , if you are a starter, do not worry too much for now. I wrote a blog in case you want to deepen the topic: Broken Links I also use a table plugin and a cookie plugin...
Less is more
I hope this helps a little
Let me know
Fleeky
Thanks so much, Fleeky.
That is very helpful.
I'm thinking about using the table (of contents) plugin.
Likewise...and good to hear from you as well. Hope that everything is good with you.
Myra ♥️
Hey Fleeky, you've got a way with words or is it your AI assistant doing the talking?
Great article. Page loading speed is crucial to retaining visitors for longer. I don't agree fully with number four, though. You could reuse the same keyword for various articles or videos, as long as it's not all your keywords. You can compete with yourself a little; both articles or more would and could be on page one, and both can get traffic... Which would benefit you twice.
What plugin do you use to optimize your speed?
Hey Hein, thank you...
If AI mirrors us.... who is who?
Keywords? Aaahhh the real cannibals! 😱 Great tip!
As for speed... hosting at WA includes top speed, no plugin needed (sitePlus+)
What plugin do you use?
Fleeky
Yes, but it's not that great IMO. It also conflicts with Nitropack and most other popular ones.
See more comments
Wow, this was an epic read! You had me hooked with the haunted realm analogy—SEO can definitely feel like battling unseen forces sometimes.
The 7 Deadly SEO Errors are spot on. I’ve personally fallen victim to a few of these traps in the past, especially keyword cannibalization and the broken link graveyard. It’s easy to overlook internal competition until you realize your pages are stepping on each other’s toes instead of helping you rank.
One thing I’d add is structured data (Schema markup)—it’s like giving Google a treasure map to your content. Websites that don’t implement Schema often miss out on rich results, which can be a huge advantage in SERPs.
Also, Core Web Vitals are another silent killer. Google is ruthless when it comes to LCP (Largest Contentful Paint), FID (First Input Delay), and CLS (Cumulative Layout Shift). If these aren’t optimized, your rankings could slowly wither away.
I love how you included trap avoidance tips—it makes this post super actionable. SEO is always evolving, but if we stay on top of these common pitfalls, we’ll keep our websites in Google’s good graces.
Thanks for sharing this! Definitely bookmarking it for reference.
Humbled
And yes...the schema markup is an important key as well...
Thank you for bringing it up
Fleeky
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