How to Win Friends and Influence People

bydj-drea

2K followers

Updated 7 years ago

I am reading the book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. Have any of you read it?

I am finding it to be extremely valuable for me in my own personal life as well as in my online marketing life. It is really helping me understand how people work and how to best to influence them and make them like me.

Here are some key notes from the book that I have written down so far:

Principle #1
Do not criticize, condemn or complain.

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain - and most fools do. But it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving. When you criticize someone, they get defensive. They will try to justify themselves. Criticism ruins a persons pride, hurts his sense of importance, and arouses resentment.

Principle #2
Give honest and sincere appreciation.

"I consider my ability to arouse enthusiasms among my people, the greatest asset I posses and the way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement. There is nothing else that so kills the ambitions of a person as criticisms from superiors. I never criticize anyone. I believe in giving a person incentive to work. So I am anxious to praise but loathe to find fault. If I like anything, I am hearty in my approbation and lavish in my praise" - Charles Schwab

People crave appreciation almost as much as they crave food - and yet we are so stingy with our praise. We often criticize and tell people what we don't like. Instead we should be telling them of the good things they are doing. Let them know what we appreciate about them.

Principle #3
Arouse in the other person an eager want

People don't care about what you want, they only care about what they want.

"If there is only one secret of success, it lies in the ability to get the other person's point of view and see things from that person's angle as well as from your own" - Henry Ford

People are always asking the question "what is in it for me?" You have to show people how your product will solve their problem. Don't just say, "look how great I am, look at this product, I think it is awesome". People care about themselves and their own problems. If you can see their point of view and solve their problems, you will be more likely to succeed.

These are only the first three chapters!

There is a really good video on YouTube that goes over the 10 best points of this book. It really helped me out and is what got me interested in reading the book for myself. Here is the link if you want to watch it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fiJbP5AFbJs

Have a great day everyone!

Andrea