Two mothers
It will be Mother’s day here in the UK this weekend. I will spend a few special moments thinking of her and light a candle in her memory. Though in truth, I think about her every day.
Even in tough times, she managed to find enough food for us all, and she always had my back. I could be on the other side of the world one day, then get a 6 week leave pass and suddenly appear on the doorstep two days later. “Hi mum, I’m on leave for 6 weeks.”
“You know where your bed is”, and very next thing, “Have you any dirty washing. Leave it by the washing machine, I’ll wash it later. Do you want a bacon sandwich.”
Well, what soldier doesn’t have dirty washing, and mum’s great at getting those knife edge creases in my shirts and trousers
So I’ll miss her for lots of reasons.
Now to Two Mothers …
I have two elderly ladies as neighbors. One lived at number 7, the other at number 11. They are both loaded, more money than they could ever hope to spend.
They both fell ill at the same time. Fell being the right word, they had taken a fall, been admitted to different hospitals, and then both developed some minor complication.
It’s what happened next that for me, defines the difference between love on the one hand, and complete disinterest in their mother on the other.
The son of Mother One lives nearby, he visited her a few times, but the gaps between visits became longer and longer. As he had control of her money and finances, he decided to sell her car, sold a lot of furniture from her house and categorically refused to allow any of HER money to be used for her care. He refused to allow her back into her own house as she would need constant home-care and he was not paying for that.
Sadly, she passed away, in hospital, alone but for the nursing staff. Very sad.
Mother Two, still alive, also has a son, but he lives in the Philippines doing something with technical with engineering.
June’s son was on the airplane back to the UK the same day he heard the news. He dropped everything to come over. He visited her in hospital every day and had people in to fit a stair lift, others to spruce up the house, and bought her a rather handsome mobility scooter – probably cost as much as a small car.
He stayed in the UK until she came out of hospital, he arranged and paid for 24/7 live-in companion care for his mother and only when he was happy that she was happy did he go back to work in the Philippines.
He flew back to the UK two months later, for a week, and again at Christmas. It’s Mother’s day this weekend and Mother Two’s son arrived in the UK last week and will stay for a week longer. Whatever his mother needs, is arranged. Nothing is too much trouble.
How can two people be so different towards the women that took on a life-time commitment to look after them. Our mothers bring each of us into the world, nurture and love us. They deserve all our love and respect in return.
Happy Mother’s day, mum.
Bux
Recent Comments
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Hi, Dave.
My mother was the most caring and loving person that I ever knew.
We had to place her into supervised care because of Dementia and the onset of Alzheimer's.
All the kids visited her often but she finally got to a stage where she did not recognize each of us as who we were. My last visit with her was September 18, 2018, on my birthday. She acknowledged me as her older brother who had come to visit her from India.
I think this completed her "Circle." She passed three days later and I lost my best friend and guardian forever. Not forever. She appears in my dreams very often. I look forward to joining her when my Circle is complete.
Thank you for your post. As for son #1 and son#2. It is difficult to say why such opposites.
West 2000 wrote "Unfortunately, Bux...not all mothers are loving or nurturing and that is sad but true which leads to massively complex inter-family problems. ..."
I have seen some very selfish mothers and fathers in my lifetime while growing up and could never understand why they behaved that way. My parents were very loving and supportive and I miss them in physicality.
Spiritually we remain.
Happy Mother's Day to your Mum. In Canada, we pay homage to Mother's Day in May.
Peace, love, and light.
Paul.
Thank you Paul, what a lovely reply, appreciated.
The circle is complete, - you talk the same language as me.
We talk of it as passing to the other side, sitting with the elders.
And yes, there are times in that almost asleep state when I can listen to my ancestors.
My mother was in a nursing home too.
She celebrated here 91st Birthday on May 1st and died peacefully on May 2nd
Blessings to you, take care.
Bux
Hello Bux!
Nice post!
What a lovely story, and to remember our good mother simultaneously.
As Mother's Day is near.
I also remember my mother. "She has been gone for 14 years."14 years ago. She died in my arms. When she was alive, I still remember that she wanted to know if I was okay and if I had eaten my food at the right time. She always reminds me to care for my son and love my son. I love my mother very much. I missed her.
Happy Mother's Day, Bux and everyone!
Joyce:-)))
Thank you Joyce, lovely reply, from the heart.
Mum was the same with me.
From wipe your nose, tie your shoe laces as a kid, to looking after me as an adult when i came home on leave. There was always food on the table for me and she often slipped me a few pounds to go to the pub - well, what squaddie has any money of their own. And granny slipped me some money too, don't tell your mum, she would say. I was always looked after'
You look after yourself.
Bux
Wow, you have a wonderful mother, Bux! You're very lucky! But you're a little bit spoiled by Mom and Grandma. :-))) It's true because they really love you. How nice to be back together with them again, Bux. Yes, it is possible in a dream.
I am lucky, too. :-))) with my Mama.
She didn't leave at all because she's still here in my thoughts and heart.
Have a wonderful evening, Bux!
Joyce:-))
LOVE this post Bux!
I lost my mom 8 years ago, and there’s never a day that I think of her. I MISS HER TERRIBLY !
Your post reminded me of all the things I did for my mom when she was alive. As I cannot be with her in the Philippines, I made sure that someone is with her all the time as she gets weaker day by day.
Mothers give us unconditional love!
Cheers,
Maria 🌹
Absolutely Maria. Unconditional love for life.
Thanks for responding, appreciated. Yes, I think of mum (and dad) everyday.
Take care
Bux
Unfortunately, Bux...not all mothers are loving or nuturing and that is sad but true which leads to massively complex inter-family problems. But for those mothers who do love and support their children, it is a bond like no other. Glad you had the latter!
Happy Mother's Day,
Susan
Thanks Susan. Yes, I've heard of mothers who are less than motherly. Fortunately I've not met them and I feel blessed that mine showed unconditional love.
I hope all is well with you.
Bux
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It is so despicable when a child takes advantage of an ageing mother. I remember when my mother died, I suddenly felt ungrounded and uneasy about the world. It took a while for me to get back to normal. I still miss her and it is 23 years since she passed!
Not a day goes by without missing our parents. Almost every day I reach for the phone to call my dad. He died in 2008. Such a big part of my life, as mum was.
Look after yourself.
Bux