A Deep Dark Sadness

---------- Forwarded message ---------

From: Charles Horne <charleshorne999@gmail.com>

Date: Wed, Jan 5, 2022, 09:20

Subject: Deep Dark Silene. Please excuse the apparent lack of emotion in this blog. As I was putting this together, I had what I think was a PTSD flashback. Suddenly I was back there standing in that man's house. I couldn't move and I couldn't talk. I was up most of the night last night because I needed to get this done. I don't want to relive or revisit this nightmare ever again. It's interesting how much certain events shape and define you for the rest of your life. To this day, more than 50 years since this happened, I still can't tell anyone this true story person to person. I can't control my emotions and I self-destruct into silence if i try. If I hadn't experienced this first hand, I would tell you it can't be true but sadly in that time, in that reality, it was possible and I was there. A lot of bad things happened to Vietnam Veterans and I am sure some stories, horrible true stories have never been told. Probably because the veteran couldn't live in with this truth or at the least suffered aa catatonic me me talk collapse. When you read the in-person account, try to imagine what was going through this man's mind, the questions, the fears, the doubts and finally the gut-wrenching realization of what his family had done to him. I tried to follow up with this person but after about a month, I lost contact. God only knows what happened to him but I pray that God somehow limited his pain.

I know so many guys that came home expecting a little respect and maybe a handshake. They never expected to be ignored by their families or attacked physically and mentally by the very people they went to war for. Vietnam vets had to hide their patriotism and willingness to do their duty. I flew home with a friend and he ask me to come home for the night. We arrived at the airport in San Francisco and oddly there was no one there to greet him. He said it must be just miscommunication. When we arrived at his house there was nothing but silence. When we entered his house, the silence and emptyness were like thousands of deep, bloody knife wounds. There wasn't anything I could do for him but make sure he would be safe and then I went home to my family. I was one of the lucky ones.