I Must Be Out of My Mind

Last Update: November 13, 2020

Good morning folks, haven't blogged for a while, in fact I've not been on the Wealthy Affiliate platform for a while or worked on my website either. In a nutshell I've had a couple of weeks off work from October, recommended by my doctor due to mixed anxiety and depression disorder, which once diagnosed came as a shock. I'm currently off work again now for another extended spell until the end of November and I'm trying to switch my head back on to Wealthy Affiliate and daily structure.


I've had some rough encounters since my thirties regarding stress, depression and the like and seems to only come about when I'm in overwhelming, stressful situations. My current place of work is my trigger this time around. I don't want to be there, I hate the place, hate the work and it doesn't fit my character well. The closer the end of my sick leave arrives, the more sense of dread I feel going back.

I'm in the process of actively looking for alternative employment even though my end goal is a passive income and working from my home. I'm in a very strange limbo situation as I've never really had a solid career path and have got a lot of transferable skills instead from various jobs and experiences. I can't just quit the current role as it's the money maker, even though I've toyed with the idea and have been tempted to.

My site created through Wealthy Affiliate hasn't made anything at the moment which after two years of creative work is very disheartening as I've mentioned a few times in my blogs. Because of this I can't just lean on this at the moment and don't have any other passive income coming in and so have to look for another job - but I have no path and aren't sure these days what I'm any good at or what skills and experiences of mine are useful. Just a little lost and so have sought help.

Reaching Out

I've been in touch with Healthy Minds, an organization who helps with depression disorders and assesses the level of the illness and refers you on to other support if needed, depending on your case and personal situation. ACT (Assertive, Commitment Therapy) will be in touch with me soon and they will be able to help and assist me discovering myself and my values, what matters to me, personal development, grant funded and free training etc. I've also contacted a Life Coach and paid for six sessions. The help here is to train my mind to think differently and help me along a new path, it's new to me but I'm soaking up what I can like a sponge and appreciate all the support.

Latest Activity

Today is the first day, of logging back onto Wealthy Affiliate after weeks of not being in the right frame of mind to tackle a "failing" website and niche idea. I'm going to start with small steps and try to get back on board, starting with some writing and this blog. I'll be finishing off my recent post as all the images aren't added too. I'll then be taking the next step in the training and tick off further boxes.

Once again as I've reported many times already, Amazon have pulled the plug on me again, this time from their dot com US site stating that in the time I've signed up for the associates account I've not made three sales. I could sign back up again and change the links that matter but I'm getting a little sick of it and the attitude of Amazon. You would have thought that ANY link to their goods on other sites is FREE promoting and shouldn't be hampered.

I've got to try to find my "mojo" again, work out some structure and keep this thing going. In 2018 I never even had a website built out to what I see today and I should be proud of the achievement. I may have to work towards getting Site Feedback and make sure I'm not flogging a dead horse. Surely I've been doing everything right? At this time folks I need all the support I can get so I can get a grip, clear my mind, the slate and gain traction with this investment I've committed to.

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JeffreyBrown Premium Plus
Hang in there, Stephen! This horrid year is almost over. I move along one day at a time, and that is what gets me through. Keep your visions in your minds eye and strive towards them! Believe it or not, you WILL get there, my friend!

Loutech Premium
Hi Treadstone02, I've been there and am there. I agree with ElodieF4321 about acquaintances and jogging, etc. Suggestion, you also want to consider dropping the name treadstone, as the connection to Jason Bourne and him not knowing his true identity until Pamela told him. This could be a negative energy label that is hindering your Chi
Treadstone02 Premium
Interesting thought there about the Jason Bourne connection, it actually made me smile so found what you said as a positive. In my own defence though Loutech, I love the movies, the XBOX360 game 'The Bourne Conspiracy' and the actual handle that I use, "Treadstone02" was originally "Zero2tm" but as my surname is Bourne for real, I thought it was quite suitable and have never seen it as a negative, interesting concept and thought though. Cheers.
ElodieF4321 Premium
Do you have acquaintances around by where you live,, maybe you can start by going and jugging in the morning to get fresh air, so that you can clear your mind. That can also make you feel refreshed. Then you can try some meditation, see how you feel keep up with to whom you have spoken. Keep a journal of your progress, it will be baby steps at firsts but move on confidently and have a routine, don’t stop.

Seeing this is an on going situation it will take some time. I’ve been there so find your passion and work with it.

Wishing you great success.
Treadstone02 Premium
I make use of my bike and try for a thirty minute ride each day, funny enough I did so early this morning as part of the new structured routine I've been advised by my Life Coach to put into place, this is also why I made the effort to log onto Wealthy Affiliate today after not touching it for weeks.

I've tried the meditation angle and used the Headspace app a good while ago. I've thought about re-starting it again, but it costs after an FREE introduction and I've just paid a bit for Life Coaching services. Like you said, small steps is a success.
ElodieF4321 Premium
Hi pleasant morning it’s morning by me in the Caribbean. I have taken time to read your blog , I emphasized with you but all is not lost. You have a lot going for you all you have to do is put it in to action.

Do you have immediate aquaintances by you
Treadstone02 Premium
Many thanks for reading my blog. I currently live alone in my apartment, I have no pets or children. My partner of three and half years lives in her own home, but we see each other often, more so at weekends.

The clinical and alternate help I've sought is because I'm open-minded and it's a new door opened. Who know where it may take me.
KathyAnne Premium Plus
I'm sorry to hear of your anxiety issues, and hope the life coach can help. Sometimes a slight shift in thinking can work wonders. Amazon can be tricky as you have to make a sale within a certain time. Once you start getting traffic to your site you could apply again. You are making progress, so don't feel disheartened. If you're unsure about your chosen niche take time out to think about your passions and interests and decide if you want a new direction. I spent several years building a blog with lots of content. It never made 1 sale! I changed direction and started a new blog on about cats. I love cats so find it easy to create content. 18 months later I'm getting plenty of traffic and making regular sales with Amazon, and doing very well with Adsense! My other blog is still live and I will keep it as I now feel I could do a lot more with it. All the best. Kathy
Treadstone02 Premium
Hi again Kathy, I believe and recall I may have commented on or reviewed one of your blogs, pretty sure I've crossed paths with you once before. Hope you're well? My passion has always been indoor entertainment and so I feel I'm still in the right niche but although I've narrowed it (recommended by Kyle) it's still a touch broad really?

I can work with it though as it covers all things video, board and card games entertainment. Using the various tools to help I'm getting clicks, impressions and CTR but no sales of any kind. I don't like the idea of starting from scratch with a new website and new idea but if it came to it, I've got an idea to run with.

Thanks for your comments and support.