For example, a partner might say that his or her intimate life suffered neglect because the other person worked too many hours. Instead of looking for a solution to the problem such as “How can I work with that schedule to give us the time we both need?” they simply write it off as not their fault and move on.

This could be a reason why you’re having trouble in relationships if that is the case. You have to be willing to accept the responsibility for your part in whatever goes on between you and your partner.

You might have to deal with things like a partner disliking your friends or family. But look at what you might have done to cause that dislike. Did you allow your friends or family to treat your partner disrespectfully?

Talk about him or her behind their backs? Rather than looking to place blame, look for ways you can help change the negative in the relationship into a positive. Another area where people do a lot of blame placing is with their job.

They procrastinate and miss a deadline, then blame their colleagues or their boss. Or they don’t get the materials that they need to do a job in on time to meet a project deadline, so they blame the people who were supposed to get the materials to them.

Part of the blame game with a job also has to do with promotions. Whenever you don’t get a promotion that you thought you deserved, it can be easy to turn around and blame a colleague or a boss.

It can be easy to blame anything other than accepting the possibility that your own actions caused you trouble at work. Scheduling ahead can help keep you from missing deadlines.

Making sure that you have all of the materials gathered long before a project is due can help keep you on target. And looking at the reasons why someone else got promoted rather than you can help you avoid the blame game at work.

When we get disappointed because we don’t get a hope or expectation met, it can be too easy to look outwardly rather than inwardly. Plus, sometimes things happen just because that’s the way it’s supposed to be and it’s not your time yet.

But placing blame never helps anyone - least of all you. In fact, it can work against you by allowing you to release negative energy that will come back to you.