Blame Isn't the Only Detriment to Your Successful Life

Blaming others when things go on in your life prevents you from taking ownership of what you should take ownership for. Plenty of people do this, but it can be changed and you can own your actions.

On the other hand of the blame game is pushing off the power of praise. A lot of people do this and for good reason. It’s because we’re taught from childhood to be humble.

We’re taught to look out for others. But what you might not have learned is that there is a fine line between being humble and not accepting what is rightfully yours that you deserve to accept.

This area is usually found in the area of praise. An example of this is a stranger jumping off an icy bridge into a rushing river to save the life of someone he doesn’t know.

Later, when he’s interviewed, he downplays that praise from the television reporter, from the bystanders and from the public. Usually, the person says, “I only did what anyone would have done.”

No, he didn’t do what anyone would have done - which is why there were bystanders. The man who put his life at risk to save the life of someone else deserved to be praised for his actions.

There was no guarantee that his own life would be saved. But because we’re taught to be humble, people pass off praise like they don’t deserve it. Just like you must own the blame for what goes on in your life, you must also own the praise.

When someone says, “Oh, you look great,” the standard answer is usually, “This old thing?” or “No, I don’t. I look old/fat/worn out.” We don’t accept the praise even though the other person is being genuine.

We do this in the area of work, too. When the boss stands up and publicly comments to the office staff that a certain worker really made the project pull together, what usually happens is the worker passes the praise off.

He might say something like, “No, really, it was a team effort.” With so much emphasis on being humble and taking care not to be proud, we’ve gone to the extreme and started seeing a compliment as a bad thing.

We’re afraid that if we accept it, we might get a big head and start to have ego problems. Here’s something to remember. The people who worry about being too proud or having ego problems aren’t usually the ones that do.

It’s the people that never wonder about being too proud or egotistical who are. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being proud of your accomplishments. There’s nothing wrong with being proud of your life, and of who you are.

Too many people spend far too much time with internal dialogue that downplays their achievements. For example, if you finish a tough project at work, you might be proud of yourself only to have that internal voice say, “Anyone could have done that.”

No, anyone could not have done that. You have to retrain yourself to not only learn how to take the praise that belongs to you, but to learn how to stop allowing yourself to give it away by thinking you don’t deserve the praise.

The downside to not accepting praise is that you begin to believe that you don’t deserve it. You humble yourself to the point that what you’re putting out into the Universe becomes quite negative.

Things like, “I don’t deserve this” or “I can’t believe I faked my way through this” become your truth. What happens then is that you’re sending out negative energy and that’s exactly what’s going to come back to you.

So when you are praised, accept it and know that you deserved it. Don’t be afraid to be proud of yourself, either.