NFL and No More - Is It the Answer?
I was reading this morning about being mastered by others. The question asked was "What is mastering you?" It was just three little paragraphs in a book called Simple Suggestions for a Sensational Life by Paula White. I felt compared to share because it opens so many doors in the mind about how we allow ourselves to be mastered sometimes.
I realize the NFL is really covering their butts about what happened with some of their players, the main reason for the campaign. I realize that starting to talk about domestic violence on the scale they are currently doing raises awareness tremendously. I just question if all the money is going in the right direction.
Could the money be spent better in programs that work with domestic violence victims directly?
The national exposure is great for the football league but does it really help the victims?
As a former victim myself, it was people working directly with me that gave me the self-esteem to say "no more" myself that really made the difference.
These victims need personal, one-on-one companionship to build their confidence to change their lives.
Back to the three paragraphs before I get on too much of a rant here. The scenario the author presented was that of a waitress filling a cup of coffee and asking you to say "when". She gets distracted and you don't say "when". You end up with a mess.
The moral: People need to learn to say "when".
It is a great campaign slogan for the NFL "No More" (and maybe they are doing great things behind the scenes to help victims that I don't realize) because it is the answer. People will take advantage of others in many ways not just in domestic violence. Victims are the ones that really need to say "no more" because no one else can do that for them.
We must learn to take personal responsibility to say "enough is enough". Others will continue to dump, dump, dump until we do.
I know because I was a victim, we get in situations sometimes because we are too nice to certain people and certain people will prey on our kindness. There is a time when we have to stop being nice and say "no more".
Is it time for you to say your cup is full in certain areas of your life?
Rayma
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Well, this is foreign to me, as I read about it all the time. It never occurred to me to touch my wife in anger. Even when she once threw a tomato at me. Missed.
You are a good man. Do ever feel you over commit yourself? That was my second point letting other master our time.
Sure. I've always lived flat out. From day one, if you'd have ever heard my mother. If I were a kid today I'd be on Ritalin. One day I'll stop. Suddenly.
Excellent post ... I need to take this advice in some areas of my life and just say ... sorry, no more ... my schedule is full! I do have a tendency - because I am not currently "working" - to let everyone else fill up my time ... and I end up putting my own business efforts on hold. Unless it is something I feel is absolutely necessary ... or something that I really WANT to do ... I need to learn to just say no!
This is a BIG issue for me! M PS I may need to get that book! Thanks!
Tell me about it. My daughter and my granddaughter live with me which is great. . .except my daughter may take a little advantage of the situation. I have to say sorry sometimes just to get a little work done.
My personal opinion is that the NFL's campaign for domestic violence is like you said and not to help the victims. However, the awareness factor is huge when it comes to help DV victims. I was a victim as well and I understand that for each woman, a source of help and support is going to be more individualized. I do hope that the NFL's efforts can raise awareness because that is an important part of society as a whole saying "no more".
When it comes to me personally, I have cleaned up a lot of overflowed cups. Learning to recognize when you have enough on your plate is important but I think it's a process for a lot of people. I am doing better because I have let myself go in way too many directions. We teach our children to help others because it's the "nice" thing to do and I think that is what leads to us putting ourselves last. I have learned boundaries which goes a long way in allowing me to do for others but only when I've taken care of my needs and responsibilities. Not sure if that's what you mean but it's what has worked for me. :)
That is exactly what I mean. Thank you so much for sharing. You have done exactly what you need to do start putting boundaries up. It is hard because we want to help others but we can't let this desire take control. We need to set our limits. Glad like me you are learning to do this. It is a daily process for sure.
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Good article, Yes everyone has to say no more sometime in there live