Too Short? Not Enough Information?
Greetings My Fellow Students in the Art of Internet Marketing:
I wrote this article with the idea that visitors to the piece would be encouraged to click on the links to learn more. It's not done. Just want to get it out there - I've been procrastinating and self loathing - as some of you know - and playing back and forth with the owners of this company. Still working on affiliate stuff with them.
http://aspaforeveryone.com/the-salt-cave
ALSO, I really need more likes on my Facebook page. Would some of you who haven't "like" my page?
https://www.facebook.com/aspaforeveryone
Thank you in advance.
Recent Comments
17
I am kind of confused as well. Is this a salt cave an affiliate type place. I understand the concept of it and you got me interested with the asthma part. However, I'm not sure what if you're selling a spa package or something else.
You're right it needs to be more clear. I'll clean it up some time this weekend. Thank you for the comment. I truly appreciate it.
I'm going to be perfectly honest here - I have no clue what point you're trying to make in this article!
Actually, I should preface this by saying that you have a very neat, clean and professional looking site, so kudos!
With regards to this article - you immediately caught my attention because I suffer from intermittent asthma, so when I saw that you were writing about something that helps that, I got excited!
But... you would have lost me (if I wasn't reading this as a fellow WA member) at the testimonial paragraph. I don't want to know what you heard from other people or about other reviews. Obviously, you want to be transparent about your business, so don't say you've tried something you haven't, but I would think of a better way of phrasing this because as someone who has asthma, all I read was: "This is great for people who have asthma, based on what other people have told me, but I wouldn't know because I don't have asthma / I haven't actually tried it."
While for me the information in general was much too textbook and didn't sound like your voice, I can look past that - if that's the target audience you're trying to reach.
Also, your article pretty much assumes that I already know what salt therapy is, what it does, and who it's for and this is just devices I can use for that. If that's the readership you're catering to, great, if not, you might want to rethink that...
I highly recommend adding in headlines. For examples instead of bolding the beginning of paragraphs (I did that at the beginning too till someone told me to just split them into headlines :) , make 'The Salt Cave' a headline, 'Breeze Tronic Pro' a headline and 'Salt-Cube' a headline. If you can (stage two) add more detail then that, a little something that'll hold my attention and make sure I keep reading.
Lastly, I get to the end of the article, and I'm confused with what the outcome of the article is supposed to be...? Do you want me to buy one of these products? You mention the Salt Caves and I see pictures of them, but I'm not really sure what to do about that...?
Based on the info above I'm assuming that you are looking to establish an affiliate relationship and thus promote these products. You're definitely on the right track, but it does need a bit of polishing.
Again, this is just my opinion - and the way that I read the article. It could be that others read this differently.
I highly commend you for doing this and I hope that this doesn't frustrate you, but I like it when people give me constructive criticism, so I hope this is ok.
I usually send these messages as PMs, but I think there's a lot in here that can be helpful to a lot of people, so I'm going to post it here.
And as for the Facebook like, no can do - I don't do Facebook! Yup - a 21 year old gal of today's generation ;)
Cheers and keep going! Feel free to PM me with any questions.
Stephanie
Definitely appreciate you taking the time to comment. I absolutely love constructive criticism.
Having said that, and I'm not making excuses, I did write it in a hurry. I've been lazy about getting to it and just wanted to get it over with. That's the truth. I've been thinking of another website and my heart isn't completely into this. I thought perhaps if I added more links AND get the kind of feedback that I received from you I'll eventually get it into order. Sadly, I'm not in a hurry. It's summer and I have better things to do.
The people who own the Salt Cave asked me to write it. They're millionaires and couldn't afford to pay me - a professional writer - although you wouldn't know it by this article. They aren't even sure if they will allow me to be an affiliate and if that's the case, I just may scrap it. They want something for free and I'm not convinced that this is spa worthy.
No problem about the Facebook. I'm just doing what people tell me to do right now. Have a great evening.
Tina
Gotcha. I think (my humble opinion) that you really need to focus on what you are passionate about. And if it means that this site has got to take a break, so be it. But, if it were mine, seeing how much work has already gone into it, I would recommend setting side a certain amount of time weekly (even if it's 2 hrs) to just post one article. Just so google sees it's still functioning and you keep on top of it. But, set aside the time to work on it, do so, and then don't think about it till the next week.
Yeah, I remember you blogging about this company that asked you to write for them, but wouldn't pay you - and they're still not sure if they'll let you be an affiliate??
I'm curious - what about their product / service spoke to you so much that you agreed to write the article for free and that you really want to be an affiliate?
Just went back and reread your profile - whoops! listen to me giving a professional journalist advice :)
But I think you will agree with me that this article just isn't up to par and you don't want that the be a reflection of you - on top of the fact that that's not going to talk to your readership and ultimately bring in cash...
I suppose if was passionate about it right at this point in time I have done that. And I still may. Thanks again. I love positive feedback, as the people before you gave me, but I appreciate that you took the time to be honest and give me some awesome advice.
I know this is pretty cliche, but follow your heart! It may not be the most intelligent way to live, but it's pretty awesome :)
Good luck!
Your website looks great to me. I left a comment, and I "liked" your Facebook page, too. Best wishes. BTW, don't know what's causing the self-loathing, but you should be very proud of your website, IMO.
Hi I enjoyed starting the read. But when I left the first page I was lost and could not get back to it. I tried to leave a comment but none of the other pages has comment areas. I take it your still new at building the website cause there is still a few empty pages. Your writing is good and there's enough photo's. With a bit of work you can make this happen. Congrats and wish you all the best in the future.
Glad you posted this as I'm very interested in the subject matter of your website. And I gave your FB page a like...
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Update. I've disabled this article. I'm rewriting it and set a deadline of July 20. Thanks all for reading.