Just finished Certification Course 2.my next step.

byTjennings122

494 followers

7 years ago

So, after all the frustration over the past couple weeks I decided to come and do a little more in WA. I have just completed CC 2, starting on #3, while I am able. The past two weeks have been a trying time for me, a lot of feelings surfaced and demons faced, even a couple of thoughts of suicide crossed my mind. I'm so frustrated that the doctors are not able to tell me anything new over the past year except now a new diagnosis of complex migraines.

It's my favorite time of year and I am unable to get to the fall festivals that I have always enjoyed, can't get out to visit friends, can't go to the mountains or coast. The doctors still have me under a "no work-no drive" order and not sure how much longer it will continue.

I suppose I have come a long way though--they told me I would always be in a wheelchair but after three months I was using a walker (but still use a wheelchair in a large supermarket or Wal-Mart), and then after several months with my walker/rollator I have graduated to a walking cane. So, I suppose I should be very grateful for that!

On October 12th I will visit my neurology specialist at Baptist Hospital and hoping he will give me better news. I still feel like I'm a ping-pong ball though as my PCP says they are leaving it up to Neurology to make the major decisions and the neurologist says they will not make them and leave it up to the PCP to make the decisions--therefore, I get nowhere. In August I questioned my PCP why I was not being allowed to do anything, then I had one of my episodes during the Q&A and told "that is why you are not allowed to do anything"! It's hard with no income. My disability hearing is still a year away, too!

With all my training and education you would think there is something I could do but I have to be able to drive to have a job and I have to be able to do the job. My last two jobs when this happened to me last year involved operating a register and working with filling prescriptions...I can't even count money now so I certainly can't count pills! Not able to make the phone calls needed from the job as I can't focus on the task at hand as my brain is so short-circuited from the medications and treatment for pseudoseizures and other problems they say I'm having.

Other than a lot of prayers, the only thing that has seemed to help me is CBD oil my acupuncturist has me on. I tell my PCP and neurologist what my acupuncturist has diagnosed me with and their response is a laugh and saying they don't believe in Oriental Medicine/diagnoses. Go figure. Maybe I'm under a spiritual attack! Possible.

My next step is to get to work or find a way to bring in some income enough to pay some bills and keep a roof over my head, as currently I'm staying with a very dear friend who is a God-send, and get my driving privilege back to get my car on the road again. I'm a bit nervous about driving again as it's been a year, even with riding with someone now I get nervous and edgy about oncoming vehicles from different directions. Baby steps, baby steps. God will get me through this, if it is to be.

I have started my membership into Web Mastery 101 with The Teddy Bear and love it! My next venture is to get my websites changed over to him. I know he is more selective on who can be in there and will not tolerate the bullying that is here in WA. So that eases the mind as well.

My next website information is coming together and I'm about ready to start loading it on as I have been finding a lot of it from being packed away for several years. I've been doing some re-programming on myself, clearing my chakras, smudging, workshops online, meditation, prayer...so it's coming along and I feel I'm getting back to ME!

If you pray, please keep me in your prayers.

Hope you all have a blessed weekend!