How to Make Money Fast (Without Joining the Mafia or Selling a Kidney)

byTheAmazingMG

1.5K followers

5 months ago

Have you ever been so broke that you started eyeing your toaster, thinking, “How much can I get for this on Craigslist?” We’ve all been there. You want to make money fast, but without getting whacked or arrested. Good news: You don’t have to join the mob, sell a kidney, or become an MLM unicorn guru.

Let’s break down your options, legally and with your dignity (mostly) intact.

Step 1: Resist the Mafia Urge

Sure, movies make it look cool. Nice suits, fast cars, big stacks of cash. But they forget to mention the prison part. Or the cement shoes. Or that your “boss” might introduce you to Tony the Toe Collector if you mess up.

If you're thinking, "Maybe I could just do one quick job…", stop. Sell your blender instead.

Step 2: Sell Your Junk (Before You Become Junk)

Got an old phone, a random guitar from your punk rock phase, or clothes that no longer fit because... life? Perfect. Post it on Facebook Marketplace. Take good pics. Write a snappy description and then Boom, money.

If it hasn’t sparked joy since 2017, it’s time to spark some rent money instead.

Step 3: Offer Odd Jobs (No Mafia Involved)

Can you walk a dog, mow a lawn, or babysit a kid without losing it? Congrats! You qualify for 90% of neighborhood gigs. Try apps like TaskRabbit or Upwork. You don’t need a resume; you just need not to be weird when answering the door.

Pro tip: Smile like you’re not about to ask if they have Wi-Fi.

Step 4: Get Paid for Online Stuff You Were Already Doing

Ever wanted to get paid for clicking things on the internet? Well, now you can, and it’s not even a scam (probably). Take surveys, test apps, and write reviews. Just don’t fall for anything that says, “Buy this $97 training to learn how to make $3.”

Check reviews. If a site looks sketchy, it probably is. If it says “Totally not a scam,” it definitely is.

Step 5: Affiliate Marketing (AKA: Getting Paid to Copy and Paste)

This one’s great:

1. Sign up for an affiliate program.
2. Get a link.
3. Post it somewhere.
4. Hope someone buys.
5. Profit. (Eventually.)

You become a virtual hype man. The better you are at hyping, the better your wallet looks. And you don’t even have to leave the house or put on pants.

Final Thought:
If you're broke, remember: You don’t need to rob a bank. Just rob your garage sale pile. Mow a lawn. Share a link. Take a survey. And whatever you do, don’t ask your cousin Vinny if “that offer’s still good.” Spoiler: It’s not.