Hi Steagles, it's me again. I just want to point out something. I think everyone have different style to write anything. You have your way, I have mine, and someone else has his. We have to have an indentity, your own way. So, try to write like someone else is not the point. You have a way with words, to express yourself and you really are doing excellent. Just keep the way you are doing, changing things that you personally do't like. Sometimes,even after I have publlished a post, I go there and edit again and again, until I get it the way I really want. It's not like it is going to be permanent. You will change many times if you want too. Just try to remember that. You have your own unique style.

Hi Steagles. I think your post is wonderful. I don't see anything to change, to correct. It's just beautiful. You are giving your message the best way. There will be people who will identify with it. There will be people that will not. Its what it is. Everyone is different. As much you write, you will get more and more sharp, writing your ideas down. So far you are doing an excelent job. You have no idea how many people out there would like to have put their ideas out the way you did at least one small paragraf. Writing the way you do is a talent that grows day by day immensely, sometimes without you even noticing it. Congratulations, keep exercising writing and better yourself one day after another.
Up you go!
About the colors, they look great.
Thank you.
Warmly!
Luzia Soares.

Hi Frank:

I don't think you overused blue. Blue, at least to me, is a very positive and uplifting color and goes well with your theme.

Since you have short paragraphs, they are easy to read and bullet points don't seem necessary.

Hey there! I read your post and left a comment but wanted to reply here offline. I too didn't think it was too wordy, but I think you are writing for a particular audience and you have to listen to them and what they are looking for. In other words, it seems like you are writing for a more enlightened individual who may be seeking out information, rather than a casual reader or someone looking for entertainment. In those cases a lighter approach would be more appropriate. I say go for it! Kudos to you.

Frank,
After giving the article a quick read I can honestly say that I didn't feel that it was too wordy at all. I think the layout and the structure of your paragraphs is fine and lends itself well to easy reading.

I will say that I don't like the blue heading. Something about that color in contrast with the green background is very difficult to read, I found myself skipping the headings and just reading the content (I think it's supposed to be the other way around haha!).

Otherwise, I really liked the length of the post and the length of the paragraphs. Never be afraid to articulate your thought with as many *helpful words as possible.

I would second that bullet points can be extremely useful tools and to help the reader better grasp a main idea. I would, however, caution that you should only use bullets or lists where pertinent. It would make no sense to use a bulleted list to describe your point that a situation is just a situation not good or bad (unless maybe you had a pro/con that balanced out or something, idk). In fact, for me as a reader, analogies are great tools (like your bride story vs farmer desperate for rain) and can really connect me to the speaker or author as it gives a real-world example to help me understand an abstract theme or idea.

Keep pressing forward and improve based on logical criticisms here (it will pay off in the long run with greater quality content). Good luck and continue to remain positive about your writing!

Hey Frank,

Judging by your WA bio and even this particular post I do feel that breaking up your paragraphs will help the reader feel less fatigued. The same way I'm breaking up this comment is how I personally write my posts.

Also, I don't feel you use blue too much but, the light green links over the gray is a bit uneasy on the eyes.

Other than that, the post is right up my alley and I love Brian Tracy. The key word is also great but a hyphen after the keyword might gain you a few more clicks a month.

ex: "...in negative situations - 5 Simple Strategies"

Hope this helps

-Jaron

Don't be afraid to use bullets, even if writing as if it is a conversation. Think of all the times you use your fingers to make a series of points - do the same thing when you write.

Using multiple colors will make it harder for someone to read it, as will bolding. It's hard on the eyes. Instead choose a decent size font, preferably san-serif, and break things up into nice chunks of text - paragraphs that aren't too long.

Okay, I got it. Here is a link to the revision check it out.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1OuyQqx_bEqBur0sl36aaH2PFTYsyKd7PBYN1Mry_0kk

I kinda of agree it does need broken up a little bit not necessarily bullet points but break them apart a little.
Here here is my site go look a little and you might see what I mean. www.mycomfortersgalore.com

Okay so I know this is not how we were taught in english classes but here is my revision for you. I optimized it for readability and didn't change any of your actual content. You have to redo the images but here is the idea....