Military Families and Domestic Violence is Increasing,
“In America, it is reported by some sources that there were more domestic violence related murders in the home than the 58,000 American’s killed in the entire Vietnam War. We are in a state of domestic war; the battlefield is in the home”. Sara Niles, Torn from the Inside Out
As we come to the close of October it is a good time to remember those individuals impacted by Domestic Violence, as October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month.
It is easy to forget with isolated reports of home violence the casualties of war on the home front, as Domestic Violence is war fare tactics at the base level where individuals should feel their safest, within their own homes. It is comprised of physical abuse, mental abuse, brain washing techniques, financial control, sexual abuse including rape, use of the children as control over the identified parental victim, religious abuse (use of religion to control another’s actions) and a breaking down of the fundamental core of the individuals within the home.
For the children growing up watching these terrorizing actions by their parents, they develop an overwhelming sense of anger and helplessness that pervades their life and changes the individual they become, with impact on their relationships, grades, trust and learned behavior of how to treat people you “love”. The increase in alcohol and drug use and/or self- mutilation to control the pain expands exponentially and can impact that child’s view of their own sexual preferences and view of both genders for future choices of sexual partners.
Suicide is a high risk for the children and the adult victims as it may be viewed as the only escape from the hell of home. Murder – Suicide is a risk with those perpetrators that believe they have ownership over their family and will not allow them to leave, preferring to kill their family and then themselves rather than allow their family the freedom to live without their control.
“More military families’ members are killed by their veteran on the home front than troops killed in action on the war front. Combat veterans are responsible for almost 21 percent of domestic violence nationwide and account for 20% of U.S. Suicides – all related to the development of post-traumatic stress disorder. “
Frequency of domestic violence calls from people affiliated with the military from 2006 – 2011 rose more than 250 percent.
Number of Fort Carson, Colorado soldiers charged with domestic violence between 2006 and 2009 rose more than 250 percent.
All of this comes as a reminder; we are at war on the home front as much as or more so than on foreign soils. Within the homes you pass each day there are families being torn apart by this epidemic, yet the resources and attention being given to it are far from the equal to the attention being given to what some celebrity is wearing on the red carpet. People are more aware of the statistics for their favorite sports team than what is happening on their block with the number of people impact by domestic violence.
This is not a random event and victims are not identifiable into a socio economic, religious, gender, race or other category. It crosses all boundaries and is occurring at the heart of our nation – in our homes.
If you are a victim of domestic/intimate partner violence, there is help for you and your children to break the cycle and move into a safe and healthy life, the first step is ask for help this problem is too big for you to handle on your own.
NEED HELP – call 1 -800-799-SAFE (7233) for the Domestic Violence Hotline or visit the National Sexual Assault Online Hotline operated by RAINN.
You may contact Sharon Davis, LCSW for a free 15 minute consult at 901-210-4969.
Recent Comments
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We had a tragedy recently in Australia, where a husband rigged up a system in the roof cavity of his home so that he could gas to death his wife, two autistic children and himself. Four dead.
The sad thing was that apparently the wife was about to flee the country back to her South American home.
As I type this, my neighbors are having a loud argument which we hear a few times each week. In recent weeks the police have visited. Shame that we have such fractured situations in family life worldwide.
That is such a tragedy for any family. The out of control screaming and yelling is erupting in any neighborhoods in the USA. With the Domestic Violence Law, anyone can call the police if they feel there is out of control behavior going on. Now, where it gets sticky is who the officers believe. At the onset of the Law a few years ago, if they couldn't figure out who to take in, they would take both. Since I moved from Memphis, TN I also see the judges not enforcing the 6 months of domestic violence group.
I guess they got numb to the importance of the law. I use to do the group, had 20-25 group members for 6 months. You didn't see a change of attitude until about 14 weeks. I don't know what we are going to do.
Thanks for the share.
I wonder how much drugs and alcohol play in those statistics? And then there are the people being mentally and emotionally abused. Angry words, condecending attitudes, controlling behavior, and withholding love can be very painful, too. And they stay long after the bruises go away. Thanks Sharon.
Yes, statistically alcohol and drugs play a big role but also adding the amount of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. To deal with the PTSD they drink (male or female) Controlling behavior is very prevalent. Women don't want the men looking at any other women. Men don't let the women work, hold money from the females, give allowances. Many babies are deployment babies, which can mean, this is the last thing I did before I died.
However, if they return from deployment the soldier has trouble listening to the baby cry. Fights start.
That is a chilling revelation Sharon. It is a shame. I think it is caused a bit by the hopeless economic conditions in our country. Money is basically the root of this stress. There is some but not enough in the workplace treasury to take care of the vets. Some is related to PTSD Unfortunately you take it with you.
Totally agree MKearns. Our country has not funded for the damages to our soldiers for this long war. Our post, Ft Campbell, is still sending soldiers on a regular basis. Spouses are raising kids alone, not handling the separation very well. A soldier may not have left enough funds for the family to survive, so the parent has to contact command and soldiers are ordered to appear and sign a direct deposit to the family. Then he is written up for neglect of duty. Today's Army is full of soldiers that volunteered to come in, but they didn't bargain for multiple back-to-back deployments. Upon return, if PTSD is a residual of the war, soldier doesn't think he has a problem....if ever. Some families do get their attention and they come in for help.
This is terrible. I work at Ft. Detrick here in Maryland. The soldiers here are pretty cool people
As a former Marine, this is horrible and I am all too aware of these statistics. It is something that should not be allowed to continue, but the VA is not in a position to do what can be done because of current political wills.
Mickeyb
Thank you, sir, for your Service. I agree with that also. I am seeing too much cover up by upper echelon. I have been called to treat officers in a private setting, versus coming to a group. Double standards. Your soldiers have the same problems, they are punished to the hilt.
Yes, it is very traffic. Our civilian community is also running heavy in Domestic Violence. Children raised in a home, where DV is a norm, grow up and become either a victim or possibly a perpetrator of DV.
The enemy of freedom is the enemy of the home. Destroy the home and the country is ripe for the picking.
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As a 'survivor' I am thrilled that FINALLY this is starting to get the attention to desperately needed. Like you said....abuse has no color, creed, religion, sex, age group or financial setting.....anywhere/anytime/anybody....abuse attacks in many areas...physical, emotional, mental....the scars don't heal by themselves most times. Just because you are out of a situation does NOT mean it is 'over'. Thank you so much for this post.
From a survivor also, so glad you can share. No by no means is it over. I catch triggers from various places. I am just glad we can see, feel and hear. I have been pushing this topic since I came into private practice. It is pretty bad not to be educated in college about this topic.
I have found the majority of us who reach out for help and come to this field, have OJT.
So glad you shared.