Are you recycling emotional pain? How to let go and move on.
Happy to have had another article accepted by Ezine! It's the full version of the 'Move on and Let Go' blog I posted last week. Hope you'll take time to read it.
In my experience as a therapist, I've learned that a lot of people struggle with negative thoughts and feelings that not only hold them back but wear them down, make them ill, angry, depressed and sad, and prevent them from living a life of joy.
The past is in the past - and you DO know this, even though you might ignore the fact that what happened last week, last year, or ten years before should be ousted from your mind right now. You still cling on to it and keep the negative loop playing over and over in your mind, calling up the hurt and suffering, effectively recycling emotional pain day in, day out. I call it 'the Negative Four Rs of emotional pain: Re-thinking, Re-living, Re-feeling, Re-cycling.
Why do you do this? Because your subconscious has no clock!
The reason why emotional pain still affects you even though years may have passed since the painful event occurred is because your subconscious has NO concept of time. The clock isn't even broken - it was never working in the first place. Whatever you are feeling at any given time is what your subconscious is picking up on, from the day you are born until the day you move on from this life. If those feelings are heavy, painful, negative emotions, they will bring you down as surely as a blow to the head with a blunt object would.
Why are you recycling pain?
Have you ever asked yourself why you hold onto a painful memory? Not why it's painful, as I am sure the reasons were bona fide and real at the time they happened. But now, today, what purpose does it serve in your life, right here, right now, to keep hitting the replay button in your mind?
Ask yourself outright: Why am I recycling this pain? Do I need to hold onto this memory? Do I believe I need to hold onto it? If your answer is yes, ask yourself why? What good is it doing me now? What part of me wants to hold on to? Why? Get clear on these questions and your answers to them.
Sometimes, negative memories can serve as a lopsided catalyst for defining who we think we are. But what is important to understand is this: what has happened to you (no matter how ugly it might have been) does NOT define who YOU are. You are still a perfect human being in spite of all the bad things that have happened to you in your life. You are not a victim. You are not undeserving. You are not a bad person just because X, Y or Z happened to you. It is NOT your fault. And if it really WAS your fault, forgive yourself. You are human. We all are and we all make mistakes. And we all deserve forgiveness.
Tell yourself right now, today is the day you are going to let go and move on! You are not going to wallow in self-pity, self-loathing or self-derogation any more. You know that saying 'Enough is enough'? Sure you do, you hear it all the time. Say it to yourself now! And mean it. Then get ready to let go and move on!
Once you realize the past is truly in the past, that it does not need to hold you back if you are willing to 'Let go, let God'... you can free yourself from so much negative baggage that simply does not serve you anymore. In any way. Releasing & letting go of your past is incredibly liberating. When you truly realize all that matters is now, this very moment, EVERY moment, you can find a totally new sense of freedom within.
I believe that truly letting go, along with forgiving yourself and others for all past perceived or real transgressions, are two of the most important components of living your life the way the Divine Creator intended you to live.
How to trash the mental trash
Memories stored in your subconscious can be erased in a thousand different ways, but I'd like to share just one simple method with you here.
Get yourself settled somewhere comfy, when you know you will not be disturbed. If you have some nice relaxing music (no lyrics), put it on quietly in the background. Close your eyes.
Now, take several deep breaths... breath in through your diaphragm to the count of 5, then breathe out to the count of 5... do this several times until you feel yourself beginning to relax.
Next, just allow your breathing to come and go in a natural, unforced way.
Next, imagine you are sitting or lying on a beautiful, remote tropical island beach, or any other place in nature where you feel grounded, safe and peaceful. There should be a massive body of water close by and you see or imagine a boat there... its size determined by how much negative emotional pain you are carrying... so it could be a dinghy, a massive ocean liner, a vast old pirate ship. The choice is yours.
Next, imagine the vessel is close up to you, with an easy means of access... a plank... a ladder... whatever you feel works best.
Now, take the painful memory and imagine it could have physical form... what would it be? What size? What colour? What sound would it make? Is it inanimate or alive, living and breathing? Take some time to really give this memory as much colour, shape and texture as you can. If it feels right, you can even turn it into a wild, raging beast.
Now, when you have the image very clearly defined, pour every last ounce of anger, pain, resentment, depression or whatever emotion it holds for you... into the beast.
Now, imagine you are standing upright, tall and strong, feeling immensely powerful. Look squarely at the 'beast' of your emotional pain and say out loud "Enough is enough! I have no need of you in my life any more. You have outstayed your welcome. Thank you for what you did way back then. But now it's time for you to go. It's time for ME to let go and move on."
Take a deep breath. Now say out loud: "I release you." Then COMMAND the beast to get on the vessel. Do NOT take no for an answer. You are the boss. You are in control.
Watch until the 'beast' has boarded the vessel. Watch it settle down on the vessel. Watch it shrink. Now, command the vessel to sail away. Watch it sail away... keep watching until it is on the horizon, far away. Watch it disappear over the horizon until you can no longer see it.
Now, take a deep breath in for 5, and let it out for five.
Then, go and dance in the sand or the grass or on whatever earth is beneath your feet. Feel the sense of freedom within. Feel who you truly are. Think of all the things in life that make you wondrously happy and bask in those memories now, for as long as you care to. When you're done, open your eyes and gently return to your surroundings. You will feel incredible!
This is a powerful exercise that can be used time and again to rid yourself of negative thoughts, feelings and memories. Always finish the exercise by calling to mind feelings of joy and genuine happiness in your life.
Hypnotherapy & NLP can also provide tremendous help with releasing limiting beliefs, letting go of the past and many other areas. Visit http://www.atuneu.com to find out more.
BSc (Hons) Psychology, Dip.H.E. NLP/Hypnotherapy
Certified Advanced Law of Attraction Practitioner
http://www.atuneu.com
Article Source:http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Maria_McMahon
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8757728 October 11th 2014
Recent Comments
11
Great information! In my line of work, I see many people who allow their current life to be affected by past trauma. I will be taking your suggestions and recommending them to clients. Thank you for what you do. It is truly those who help others improve their lives that will make the world a positive place.
Good meditation, it's amazing what you can feel in your body when re-living past pain. I like the dance in the sand at the end. ::
Nice and motivationational blog. :) Yes, we must let go and let God!! :) I like this :
"Tell yourself right now, today is the day you are going to let go and move on! " and
"Now say out loud: "I release you." Then COMMAND the beast to get on the vessel."
Thanks very much. :)
Thank you for sharing this Maria. I feel many of us can very often get trapped with the mind and emotional pain. Being a trauma survivor who dealt with the symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder, I have explored the psychological and spiritual aspects of healing as well as the mind-body connection. I believe in the benefits of meditation to heal our life and let go of anything un-serving. Thank you for sharing the exercise also. It is these steps that make all the difference. Blessings. :)))
Hi Abigail, thank you for your comments and well done you for coping with PTSD... so many people suffer needlessly and I advise anyone who does have any kind of PTSD to seek professional help asap, as well as helping themselves as much as possible the way you have. I'll check out your profile and follow you!
Have a great day,
Maria
Awesome, just followed you now. So very true that many suffer unnecessarily. There is always help available. It is wonderful to see other people following their calling and creating success through giving back. xoxo
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Hey everyone,
good morning, good day or good night depending on where you are! Thanks for the comments and glad you like the post... it really is a lot simpler to let go if you you just decide that 'Enough is enough' as I've said... I know this from personal experience too. We all spend so much time beating ourselves up for past 'stuff'... when I realised the absolute pointlessness of it, boy was that a good day! Now, I am so much more resilient because as soon as something difficult or upsetting happens, I'm able to switch into what I call 'anti-combat mode'... I can decide to let my emotions become embroiled in the 'fight'... or I can step back, see the situation for what it is, and know that I render it powerless by just accepting what it is, then I can do whatever I need to do to move forward. It's pretty easy once you get the hang of it!
Have a lovely time wherever you are.
:)