Verbal Judo, the Martial Art of the Mind and Mouth, Chapter 9 Review
Good day WA Friends,
I am reading a new book by George Thompson and Gerry Jenkins called Verbal Judo, 2nd Edition, The Gentle Art of Persuasion. Here is my chapter 9 review.
Chapter 9 The Greatest Speech You'll Ever Live to Regret
"We should develop a state of mind that will allow us to skillfully interact with these people--whether they are criminals, customers, spouses, kids, or salesclerks.-and not let them get our goats?"
A samurai warrior develops a state of mind called mushin which means the still center. The ability to stay calm, read your opponent, and attempt to redirect any aggression towards you. The author states the English word for mushin is disinterested which means not biased, open, and flexible.
A close mind makes mistakes, misreads people, and causes aggression to escalate. An open and flexible mind is able to be agile and adjust on the fly. The open mind is mastery through adaptation which gives you the strength to deal with people different from you.
In the next part of chapter, he talked about strip phrases. One example he was being accosted by a criminal with all kinds of names and he use the phrase "Well, I 'preciate that sir, but I need XXXX." A strip phrase strips the insult of its power and deflects the insult into another direction.
He also talked about other strip phrases such as "I understan' that sir, but I need XXXXXX." Instead of oh yes he uses oyess. Using a combination of these phrases work well to defect the insults thrown at you. You can also create your own strip phrases.
Strip Phrases
Four reasons to use strip phrases:
- they make you feel good
- Springboard you over all the insults
- Springboard past the insults and focus on the goal
- You should sound good when you use these phrases
Two Principles when Dealing with Difficult People
Two principles are as follows:
- "Let the person say what they want as long as he does what you say
- Always go for the win-win. You can give the person the last word since you will have the last action."
REspect
We have to show respect to people at all times which is the golden rule. The RE means to give back in Latin. You always treat the other person as you want to be treated.
The key is "REspect to all, with dignity, pride, and assertiveness."
That is all for this chapter.
Have a great day!
Cheers,
Keith
Recent Comments
11
This reminds me of a story when I was working in an instant printing company. A “ customer “ cane through the door and started a full on tirade about the printing being no good.
Even though the packaging showed that it was printed elsewhere, I just nodded agreed and said how right you are.
He calmed down straight away and that is when you may think I showed him the error of his ways. Nup, it was only a very small job, we reprinted it and I got another happy customer cheaper than advertising. He stayed with us for years.
Stephen
Thanks for sharing the review here.
The following statement really caught my attention because it works very well.
A strip phrase strips the insult of its power and deflects the insult into another direction.
Thanks
Yes, it does work. I have learned to let people vent and then move them to what I need them to do.
Sort of reminds me of Bruce Lee, "Be Like Water", Keith! Seems like a very interesting book!
Enjoy your Saturday portion of Frisatsu!
Jeff
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I love the sound of this book, Keith and will definitely download it to my Kindle and read it.
It is a great book and has already helped me with the tough conversations I have every day.
The title is a clue, judo being the sport that was derived from the martial art jiu-jitsu, which roughly translates as "the art of giving way".