Are Afraid of What your Family May Think?
Hello there,
Today I wanted to talk about the fear of others thoughts. It may seem ridiculous but it generally what holds a lot of people from being successful. Especially Expats just like me.
One thing is common, they are generally afraid of their families' judgement. When you go to another country to study, just like I did. You tend to believe that your family will judge you for your choices, and you tend to believe that they will not support you. In the worst cases you imagine being the source of all disappointments.
So the most common thing that happens with aspiring entrepreneurs is that they hide their actions and don't tell anything to their family. They are preventing disappointment.
Your family may be hard with you sometimes but whatever you do in life they will support you. If it is not the case then you'll have to work harder to prove them how wrong they can be.
The problem with choosing the entrepreneurial journey is that it is generally a risky road your parents won't approve. They will prefer to have you do a job you don't like but be secure. They will prefer to see you as a doctor even if it doesn't fit your personality. They will prefer stability over a risky life of investing, losing money and frustration.
They will think as elder people do, work, save, invest in your house and live frugal to be able to support your family and children.
For them, it is the traditional road that is more interesting. But the traditional road will never make you wealthy. You'll maybe do good in life but in exchange you'll have to give your time five days a week for the next 40 years.
In y case I was afraid to disappoint my father, When I told him I don't want to study anymore, I was afraid he will be disappointed. After all, I traveled to France to Study not to work. He wanted me to finish my studies and then find a good job.
At this point in my life I didn't know I was going to become an entrepreneur. I was a scripted kid that didn't know anything about creating a business. I thought that working for a paycheck was the solution. But when I worked for others I realized that it was not the solution, I realized it was a road that will lead me and my family to mediocrity and not to wealth.
That's when I discovered that the solution is to create a business, I was committed to work for myself and not for others.
Then I was hiding my deeds and all of my actions to my family. I didn't want them to know that a job was not the solution I have chosen to become wealthy. Instead I choose instability, calculated risk and a lot of frustration.
Then after two years of secret business, I thought it was better to tell my parents that I wanted to become an entrepreneur, while I am having this day job to cover my bills. Even if I worked 8 hours a day, I had to find the energy to write after work. I had two jobs, a day job for a paycheck and a night and early morning job for free.
I told my dad and I was surprised of his answer: He said: "it is amazing! You sure have to work hard and be very tough because this road is full of frustration and a lot of failures. There are too many businesses that fail, and you have to accept it and try again. You have to find an idea of a business, find the best way to monetize your website. But you have to accept to work for free before success. I can guide you if you want."
I expected an other answer and to hear that was relieving and all the burden was gone in a very fast way.
Don't be afraid of what others think, be it your family, your friends or strangers you'll maybe be surprised by their answer and their support.
Be yourself and be authentic. That's the key to success because otherwise no one will care about your business.
Recent Comments
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My parents don't really mind that I'm trying this out simply because I currently have a "traditional" job. If I didn't and not making a livable income to from Wealthy Affiliate, they definitely would not be happy.
Hello there, thank you for commenting
I Will tell you something that may seem tough but don't take it personally. You don't have to just try this out, do it!
Trying means, you're going to be impatient and if you don't have quick results you'll come back to thé traditional road. Which is safer, but even more frustrating. I tried so many things with no results.
Maybe it is not what you meant and sorry for misjudging your comment but I think you'll agree with me.
Let's do it together because we çan quit that job and become successful. Thanks again
I shouldn't have said trying, bur rather, doing as I am taking action especially quite a bit these last few days. I definitely don't have a livable income yet, but I'm heading in that direction and will continue to head that direction in the future, however long it takes.
I think we all can do it, I have been "Action faking" for too long. which means I was taking action to only feel better. But the solution is to take repetitive action and focus on process. I hope you'll discover more things in life.
All the best my friend :)
You're exactly right and I think I've been doing a lot of "Action faking" as well. I will tell you though, the last few days have been an interesting journey and my eyes have really been opened to the power of email marketing and it is not hard to set things up as I once thought. Now I've got a lot of plans that I want to come into fruition for both of my websites with email marketing.
To be honest, I am in the same position, I have a lesson that is not organized yet but I tried solo ads with an ugly sales funnel and I got 11 subscribers plus 3 others from my website. Which means that if I really try with a good funnel and a better product I will be doing great. That's my next target.
I am currently doing a lot of things to get subscribers. Indeed it is not as hard as it seems to be. You need a great product, a valuable information to share and set it up, the only problem is that you need an advertising budget but the cost is not that high on FB. When you know how to lower the CPC cost.
Good luck and have fun, we need to play the game and accept failures.
I wish a lot of success and if you need any tips PM me. I will be glad to help you if I can.
I need to try Facebook. I've heard from others as well that it is not too high on Facebook. It just looked complicated to me at first on setting up an ad, but maybe it really isn't, I just need to give it a second look.
Just do it and you'll probably learn more along the way. I practice and I try to figure things out as well. good luck :)
I totally agree with you. I knew they were going to support me but I didn't want them to.worry, so I kept it secret. But it was a mistake.
I've been blessed with understanding family Juba. No matter what when your passion shows in your work both family and WA extended family get on board! Full speed ahead!
Hello micheal thank you for your answer and your support. It is really a blessing to have a supporting family. There are too mnay young people struggling with that, it can be hard sometimes.
Hello loes, thank you for sharing that.
The entrepreur's road is full of external things that can prevent us from success but the most dangerous things are generally internal. We have to develop our minds as well.
Thank you again:)
Thank you for telling your story! It's so true.
I told about this only to my mom. My dad knows something, but it's more lie than the truth. I am doing that because he will not understand, and if he will then he will don't believe that I can do it and be successful. It's not easy to lie to him. But I need people around me who believe in my ability to do it. However, maybe I need to tell him the truth...
Thanks again! I wish you the best! I know you will achieve your dreams. :)
Hello Linda,
Thank you for your support and comment I appreciate it :)
I have been hiding everything because I was really afraid to disappoint my parents.
I wanted to have results before telling them but things turned to be hard, I felt alone and frustrated so when I felt their support I worked harder because now they know.
And I am afraid they will be disappointed if I don't succeed. Lol it may sound paradoxical but it is the truth.
Thank you again and have a nice day.
Yes, I understand. For me, it's a little bit different. But I am sure that disappointment is a factor too in my case.
You know it's your life, not theirs. They understand that too (I am sure). You can't ever disappoint them, the only way to do it is not trying at all. :)
Thanks! I will.
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I completely understand your feelings. I try and explain to my mother and she just thinks I am wasting my time and that I should be out there earning a living at a 9-5. I have done the 9-5 for years and it has all but killed me! I want more out of life than grind to just pay the bills.
Thank you for the encouragement.
Valerie
Hello Valerie, Thank you for your comment :)
When I came to France to study I noticed something that a lot of native French didn't. There is a huge lack of ambition. The Occidental life is full of opportunities that are not exploited because people tend to do the same old staff. Work for 50 years in a company only to pay the bills. Everything seems normal. The other way round is very uncommon.
As an expat, I have a lot of ambition and tend dream very big but when I tell them about my dream of being a millionaire they tell me it's not possible. Unless you win the lottery or become a star.
Fortunately, there are so many things we can do to achieve the status of a millionaire.
I know it may seem impossible for a lot of American people as well but it is only because they no longer believe in the American Dream. So many things are holding us. We have to throw away our old beliefs and replace them with fresh ones.
If your mom doesn't understand you don't have to worry, for her it is a waste of time but actually, I believe that the traditional job is the biggest scam ever existed.
As MJ De Marco says in his book "The Millionaire Fastlane." : The traditional 9-5 job is not a good deal, you give 5 days of your week to only have 2 in return. Imagine if I tell you to give me 5 loaves of bread today and I will give you back 2 by the end of the week, it doesn't make sense.
Just be patient and do your best, because we all are on the best road.
Be awesome! because you already are :)