I Am Failing
I got off to such a great start this year, but here we are one day from February and I am failing.
Oh I know, I KNOW that the reasons for my failure are beyond my control right now and things will get better, thats what everyone will say, but that doesn't make the feeling any less painful.
I have been doing the SAC and we are into Month 7 - Failure
Ironic isnt it that, that should be the title of the month and I am sat slap bang in the middle of failure. Im not keeping up with my routines, things are slipping week by week. I should have several video blogs up by now, articles written... but I am getting further and further behind. Its getting me down. I feel I am letting Kyle down by not living up to my promise that I would do the SAC for the full year... I am DETERMINED not to let Kyle down.
I feel that the reasons I am struggling are just excuses, that I should be stronger and deal with it. That I waste time that I should be working.
Im away in the USA with my boy, looking at schools. He has been offered tennis scholarships and we are going to different schools so he can decide which is the best fit. Two days in each place, two flights to get to each place. Its tiring. Im still trying to recover from knee surgery and to add insult to injury, when I contacted my surgeon about my slow recovery, the secretary got my diagnosis wrong and told me the reason for my continued issues was because I had significant arthritis !!! Im young...! This devastated me for two days until the surgeon corrected it.. I do not have arthritis.
I know that these things are beyond my control, and it will improve but I so want to be successful and that success is dependent on me keeping to schedule.... Im so frustrated by situations I cannot control.