1984 Redux

byFrankB44

585 followers

7 years ago

In today's breaking news, Amagoo, the largest corporation the world has ever known, stunned world leaders with several major announcements.

Once Amazon and Google joined forces, the conglomerate has been unstoppable!

Amagoo's growth has been so rapid it has created numerous problems for their manufacturing, supply and distribution divisions. The company simply can not acquire everything they need quickly enough to sustain the company's phenomenal growth.

Acquiring enough real estate to accommodate their need for more and more manufacturing and distribution centers has become problematic. The problem is due largely to the price gouging Amagoo experiences with every potential purchase.

It seems both governments and the private sector are well aware that Amagoo has the money to pay whatever anyone demands for anything the company wants to buy.

Apparently, Amagoo has decided that "enough is enough", and has taken the following steps to address the crisis.

This morning's press conference spelled it out for the world. After months of top-secret negotiations, Amagoo just announced it has finalized the following transactions,

First, Amagoo purchased Tesla, and will immediately convert all manufacturing to batteries and delivery drones. The lone exception is the continued (and expanded) production of electric-powered heavy tractors for towing trailers. The new company name? Amagoosla, of course!

The company's proclaimed goal is to operate electric-powered vehicles only! The vehicles are not only environmentally friendly, but unofficial sources say Amagoo is fed up with oil-producing countries. "Too hard to deal with. I guess they just don't need the money", was the comment.

Second, to complement the Amagoo Heavy Truck Division, the company has acquired Wabash Trailers, the world's largest manufacturers of freight trailers. The new company will be re-named Amagoobash Trailers.

Third, Amagoo purchased General Motors. The new company, Amagoo Motors, will immediately convert all production to large trucks, except for a delivery van division, which will replace the production of all consumer vehicles.

Fourth, to quickly expand their ever growing delivery service, Amagoo announced the acquisition of UPS. The deal not only vastly increases the delivery capabilities for Amagoo, but eliminates the company's largest competitior. Although a new name has not yet been chosen, insiders indicate that "Amagoopar" is under consideration.

Fifth, apparently realizing that Amagoosla simply could not produce enough drone batteries, Amagoo bought a troubled General Electric Company. Production will be focused almost entirely on batteries. The company will be re-branded as "Amagootric".

Last, but certainly not least, world leaders were stunned by the announcement that Amagoo has purchased the entire country of Mexico. The new sovereign nation of "Amagooxico" will bring construction of a border wall to an immediate halt. "Completely unnecessary now", the President of Amagoo was quoted as saying.

Rumors are swirling about the company's next moves, but acquiring Panama and its Canal, as well as all the Central America countries between Panama and Amagooxico, is undoubtedly already underway. Company insiders have also leaked the news that Amagoo is currently in negotiations with Canada, but the information is unconfirmed.

One virtual certainty is the creation of the largest real estate company in the world, as Amagoo develops all ocean front areas of Amagooxico. The new company, "Amagoolty" will focus on high end resorts and communities, except for the company's new seaports.

Financial experts report that all the new acquisitions were accomplished without the need for outside financing.

Apparently, Amagoo already has ALL THE MONEY IN THE WORLD!

Wait! This just in!

Amagoo has decided to implement its own monetary system, and will require the entire planet to adopt its use. "Amagoobucks" will probably be shortened before its introduction, however.

One final announcement!

Amagoo just announced that all its companies and divisions will be united under one brand name for the future...............

"Big Brother" is here.

With tongue in cheek,

Frank