Bankruptcy looms…ver 1....Where will I find credit?....The "wordy version"

Last Update: Jan 25, 2015

23
836 followers

Bankruptcy hurts...it's super scary...but I had it coming

I really have to try to stay as high as I can on my journey to financial security, but I just can't repeat.... I will not give up. I will not waver.....or can I?

I still have so many insecurities to wake up to every day though. Bankruptcy just being one of them. I am not have a life with my kids. I didn't do anything bad. It's logistics. It's the lifestyle they have with their friends. It's a slow and painful separation, between 16 year old girls, and having to witness the failure's of there own father.

A man who just a few years before, was happy, and healthy, and filled with laughter. No bankruptcy, no lack of pride, and no depression and pain. It's the way that they see me. Down and out is no victory. Climbing out will be.

I don't have a car to take my children to a simple lunch. They don't have the time to go out for a simple lunch. I don't really think I can afford lunch. I'm living on fumes. With my looming bankruptcy, I don't have a credit card to even rent a monthly AWeber mailing list account. I need tools for this new internet business dream I have. I'm not going to let bankruptcy, failure, or my past get in the way. I can't afford to go there.

I remember being younger and being screwed like this. I remember being younger and not even giving it a second thought. The crazy thing is, is that this time I'm really at the bottom. I need to crawl out of this hole so badly. I want it so bad that I feel that there won't be a hole when I'm finished crawling out of it.

I will have turned the earth into a pile underneath me…that will elevate me to ground level.

Back to having no credit. That was something I could see coming. It was something that I was afraid could and would happen for many years.

I always had a job. One that brought me one step closer to bankruptcy....with every credit card that was sent to me. I had that job, that miserable lifeless job, up until I fell into my depression six years ago in 2008. I couldn't work after that. I just couldn't go back. I couldn't. All right I'm going to stop now. If I keep talking like this, I'm going to talk myself right into sticking a needle in my eye.

How do I get out of it?

I will have to fight like hell. I will have to change the way I think. I will have to fight hard, learn hard…and take extraordinary massive action. I will have let no one try to take it away from me. I will have take everything one step at a time.

Not get overwhelmed. Not get confused by quick fixes.

I will motivate myself by knowing that the doing will get it done.

I saw this very interesting video and I thought I would pass it onto you. It has a hyped up title. That's cool thought It has to do with doing the same five things every day.

Five simple things that you do every day, that over a period of time, that you set for yourself, give you the desired result. The analogy is very simple.

If you take five swings at a big tree with an axe every day, then over a certain amount of days, the tree will come down. I think it's called the "Law of five". I spent all day yesterday flicking around watching videos…Well here...give it a watch.

I spent a part of the morning speaking to a very caring and sharing woman who is a recent member of the wealthy affiliate. She gave me a very generous amount of her time and her patience. I need to change the focus of this website. I don't have many readers, at least not yet. If you so happen to be a precious readers, and have some idea of how I should repurpose, or refocus the site, I could really use your help.

The problem is… Is that this is not the only problem that I have...!!

I guess it would be so much better if I was still successful like I used to be. The fact is though, is that I'm not. I'm going to have to stop whining so much. I'm going to have to stop looking back.

I'm going to have to stop the negativity that comes my bankruptcy and not completing any previous journey. I'm going to have to push beyond the bankruptcy. Find another way. I'm going to have to tempt myself with the daily mindset of success. I have no choice. All the other stuff will only weigh me down and take me off focus.

Is that possibly you?

Are you like me? Are you in a similar boat? Is your own bankruptcy looming? I can feel your pain. The pain of that mindset, is holding both you and I back from getting on with the work that needs to be done to change our lives into something meaningful and a hell of a lot less painful than this is. There are baby steps to be taken, and walls to climb over. This is all doable.

The truth about my life and my looming bankruptcy.....I had it coming !!!

The truth is I might be battered and bruised, bankrupted and broke… yes, I might be all those things and more, but I'm not dead. I'm not even close to dead. I have plenty of breath left in me. And with as many breathes as I have in me, I must stay focused, and not take my eye of the ball.

Martin Luther King Jr....a man who gave "the dream" to the masses....once said this....."Faith is taking the first step, even when you don't see the whole staircase"

Faith requires action though....action of a massive kind

Turn that massive faith into massive action....and your already a winner

Standing on the scary ledge of bankruptcy. The precipice of shame. The head space is very different when you're digging yourself out from under bankruptcy.

There is so much clarity that goes with a new beginning. It still hurts, and I have so many wrongs to make right, but I have new tools now, and new hope. I won't lie to myself, but I need to feel good about myself.

Once you know you have no other direction to go but up, the mystery of the struggle disappears. It's do our die, fight or flight time. There is no mystery to the struggle. There is only the struggle. The struggle is a whole lot easier to digest when you just take five swings at that tree every day.

The struggle is a whole lot easier to perform… When you know that "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase" the struggle is a whole lot easier to perform…when you understand that faith is the struggle.

Every action brings us the progress. Every progress brings us closer to victory. Every victory makes it harder to choke back the tears. Only you will know where you have been and how far you have had to come, to get to SOMEWHERE BETTER.

Don't spend your time choking back the tears.....let them all go !!

There are not many people that I know that I've wasted as many minutes as I have. I have pondered the thoughts of many. I have procrastinated myself right into having no destination. I even coined the phrase...."procrastination has no destination".

I played the guitar for hours. I wrote songs that hardly anyone ever heard. I work at a job for 24 years selling something I didn't want to sell.

I derived no satisfaction from any of my actions. I couldn't have....otherwise, I would have achieved success from them. It lead to my own personal and financial bankruptcy.

The worst thing about it is that I couldn't see it when it was happening. Especially the bankruptcy part. I was spending money on things with no value and no purpose. Wasting it. Like wasting time. I had no idea the time was actually moving forward. I felt like I was standing still.

I am going to do a whole lot this year. I'm going to try with all my might....bankruptcy or not

I will not waste any more time. I'm a creator. I've always liked creating. Not just creating debt that leads to bankruptcy. Not just wasting a life on a dead end job. I still have time. Time that I have been so good at wasting, I will now use every minute of. I've also been very good at destroying. My hope is to get this one right. To finally recognize the balance between building and destruction.

Procrastination has no destination…

Procrastination has no destination…

Procrastination has no destination…

I need to get that through my thick skull. I need to alter the mindset. I can't let things like bankruptcy, and wasted time get in my way. I need to stop saying clever things, and start doing clever things. The real power is in the doing. If this is you.....give yourself a shake....and or give me a shout.

More tomorrow......

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Recent Comments

79

Mark I am you. I have already had a bankruptcy. My truck was just repossessed, I can not work because of an anxiety disorder complicated with other problems like PTSD, etc. I have a laundry list of psychological disabilities and am seen as an accident waiting to happen. It's hard to stand when every time you begin to get up someone else gets you.

Is there an end to the tunnel? I don't know. But maybe, just maybe you could take what you struggle with and encourage other people. You are still here and that says a lot. I am trying very hard not to give up, yet I am so poor that I don't know if I can afford to stay.

I learned about people who race and have a racing buddy to help them keep up their pace. I'm willing to give it a try, that is, if you want to try it. I have not been here in a few days either. I get too depressed to do anything... but either I do or there is only one next step. Can you give me a hand and encourage me? It is only those who have been there who can truly understand. I've learned one thing in life. It's the poor who help the poor.
Maryann

Marianne… You have endured a lot. You are obviously a woman of great courage. It seems that no matter what the world throws at you, you just don't go quietly into the night. Anxiety disorders and depression have become the illnesses that stressful society brings on people. Stress is very hard to deal with on any level. It makes it very hard to get out of bed. Fearful of the next "bad thing that will happen". You seem like a woman of hope though. I know that I'm hoping for you. I'm very glad that you took the time to communicate with me your anxiety, your fears, and your disabilities. I want you to do me a big favor. I want you to take tiny little bites out of something positive. I know it's hard, believe me. You have a lot left to give Marianne. You just gave something to me. Thank you for all your kindnesses. Talk to me anytime.
Be well and stay well
Mark

As a Realtor I have seen my share of clients who have lost everything, due to the down market of 2006. I can assure you there is life after a Bankruptcy. Even some of my family members who had many income producing properties with money to burn( that's just a saying:) lost it all! I don't want you think that I am being sarcastic, but things happen for a reason, we can't see the whole picture when we are in the midst of any difficulty. As far as your kids, there is a lesson for everyone here, being bankrupt does not define you. Everyone must participate in helping you find a solution and to be your support.
That is what family is all about. All I can say is keep up the faith, because Only you know the lesson you will learn from this! I don't think this was your daily affirmation, so my doubts for the LOA:)

Moving forward is my motto!

Hi Rochelle
I'm sure you've seen it all as a realtor. The "money to burn" syndrome has burned quite a few. I guess I'd have to be one of them. I just never saw it coming. I have my Internet business to keep me company. I have my Internet businesses to keep me focused. I'm going to plant something…water it carefully, nurture it and hopefully watch it grow. I take that back I don't think I'll hopefully watch it grow. It will just grow. Thank you very much for taking the time to communicate with me your message. I found it uplifting and it always makes a lot more sense when you find out that you're not the only one that's had to endure anything. See you on the flipside. Thank you again.
Be well and stay well
Mark

You could be like me ... so much medical debt it would be a relief to file ... but here in this state ... my husband makes about $300.00 over the annual limit .... too much to be able to file and not enough to pay all the debt - so here we are ... facing a monthly struggle with no way out except to make more money! You can file with a repayment plan but the budget that they allow you to live on is not even enough to cover our normal monthly expenses with the high cost of rent in our area. My husband is 60 years old and finding a job outside of this area is highly unlikely and extremely risky ... as he has been at his company for 17 years. 3 more years until he is totally vested in his retirement ... and since that is all we have except social security we can't afford to give that up. Talk about between a rock and a hard place. Yes ... it is disheartening ... and embarrassing but you just got to suck it up ... pull up your big boy or girl pants ... and move forward. Don't look back! M

I'm so sorry to hear that Melody…That's a real kick in the teeth. I live in Toronto Canada… We have private health insurance here of sort…but mostly everything is public. I have heard horror stories about people having to lose their homes to Health Dept. I'm trying very hard to pull up my big boy pants. Heck I'll even pull up my girl pants if it makes you feel better. I need to get some things out… Before I can take some more in. I'm working at it daily… And working very hard to move forward. Thanks very much for the pep talk. Thanks very much for sharing. Thanks for being so kind. I will do my best to try to "suck it up". An old friend of mine wrote a song called "Don't look back". His name was Kenny McLean. I think I have more to get off my chest. Can you bear with me? Thanks for all your kindnesses Melody.
Be well and stay well
Mark

Talk away Mark ... I can take it ... especially if it helps you put it behind you and move forward! M

For awhile after my husbands brain surgery ... neither of us was able to work ... I had to stay home and take care of him ... once he was semi recovered and able to go back to work we tried really hard to keep up with the mortgage and the bills ... but they just kept coming ... and interest kept adding up. We drained out savings ... and then our 401 and everything we had in retirement ... and in the end - we lost our house anyway. Our credit is tanked. And we are living in an apartment with two young party animal firefighters above us! lol
But I try not to look back. I can have no regrets ... because I still have my husband ... we still have each other ... we are battling back against the health issues ... and I'm here at WA trying to carve out a new, more exciting, filled with possibilities future! Anytime you need to vent ... I'm available for listening. I can relate ... and I care! M

Your a great woman Melody...for standing with, and by your husband. You didn't quit then, and it's to late to start quitting now....right??....lol
After all ....what do we have to lose....our sanity !!....nope.
You are a good person, I can feel you generous soul...coming off my screen. Any time....any old time at all !!!....I'm here.
m

Your only problem is your mindset. Once you get out of that you will begin that forward and upward movement.
Bankruptcy? So what! You think you're the only person who's ever filed? The problem is that you and I grew up in a time where it was looked down upon.
I had to file once myself. Did it hurt? At the time I thought so but really it was just growing pains. Sometimes the worst times of our life put us on a direct path to the best times.
Just keep that forward movement and you will get there. No focusing on what is behind. You future lies ahead of you, you just have to reach out and grab it and refuse to let go!

It's getting better every day Angela. I can't quite explain it., Hell I haven't even done any lessons for three or four days…I can't even come up with the domain name to replace the Godey your daddy millionaire concept. But I am willing to live and learn. For the first time in my life I'm actually willing to live and learn. That sentence has the word living in it… And it has the word learning it. I'm really Diggin both of those things right now. Thanks for being there, and for being here. No more down and out in Beverly Hills. From now on it's upward and onwards in Toronto. I think I'm really getting the hang of this thing. Thanks to wonderful teachers like yourself Angela.
be well and stay well
Mark

I like that - upwards and onwards in Toronto. And the domain name will come. Sometimes you just have to stop thinking on something to gain insight or maybe an epiphany. :)
Guess what Mark? You are going to be okay. How do I know? Because I said so! ;)
I am off to bed. Hopefully we will have time to chat in the morning.

hugs....zzzzzzzzzzzz

I went through bankruptcy years ago when I got divorced kennyb is right it's no big deal it's a relief and it doesn't have the stigmatism that it did years ago and you can get credit again in no time just at a higher rate but try to withstand not using it although I know you are in a tough spot with your site everything online is done with a credit card. Try to find one with the lowest rate you can get and use it only for your website business. Also I urge you and all members to make yourself an LLC company you can do it online at Legal Zoom that way if your company fails they can't touch your personal assets also everything you purchase for your company can be written off computers, software, car, gas anything you can think of, that's how companies make and keep their money all write offs. As for your children they love you and will understand your current struggles. My heart goes out to you and we are all here standing behind you.

Thanks so much for that Brez.
There is a lot of wisdom year and what you say. Am I counting correctly here, when I say that four of the six comments this evening experience bankruptcy. That's unbelievable. I live in Toronto Ontario Canada. The laws I think are quite different here than they are in America. I'm told that it's an eight year wait before I can expect to receive credit. It's a real kick in the head when you're 56 years old, but I plan on having a very successful online business at some point over the next two or three years. My plan is to win back my credit with a sweet income. Thank you very very much for the tip on creating an LLC company. I didn't know anything about that. I will definitely check out the website you suggested. I still have my PayPal account. I just have trouble getting money in there. it's really hard to own a credit card even if it's loaded in advance. I think they're called prepaid cards. They're extremely expensive to use… And I have other complications before I can even file for bankruptcy. Too hard to explain here and are wide open forum comment section. I have to disconnect from a business that I bought with my wife. Make that ex-wife. Oh well… Onwards and upwards. I'm warm and I'm dry, and no matter what… I will try with all my might, to not give up hope. Thank you very much Brez.
Be well and stay well
Mark

Mark (my name also) I know things are complicated and hard to explain in this forum I also don't know everything involved or Canadian law or American law for that matter but in the U.S. it's seven years however during that time some companies will still deal with you after all they are in the business of making money. Any way as you can see we all have our crosses to bare I think that is why a lot of us are here to find extra income to dig ourselves out of the hole we fell into not just to live the dream of sitting on our butts typing with our own business and no boss. On a lighter note your profile picture reminds me so much of my best friend and room mate when I was growing up and I really loved that guy and miss him deeply.

Glad to meet you Mark. I think the American lawn the Canadians are probably pretty similar. I'm not going to dwell on it anymore though. I'm still breathing and I can hold both of my arms up in the air and shake been pretty hard. I can think and run and drive and love. I'm giving the "Internet business"… My complete attention. How is your website coming along? I hope you're doing well. I'm very happy to have found this community… Now I just have to find a way to pay for it. I think I'll stop writing these silly little blogs for a while… And get back with the business at hand of building the website. I'm very good at taking my eyes up the ball, at the worst time. That picture would be from my "honeymoon" 20 years ago. They were fun times. I'm gonna work my ass off to get back to times that were like that… But since I no longer have a family, it will never quite be the same. I don't mean that as a negative thing…it's just a blind observation. Thanks for caring and sharing Mark. It means a lot. Be well and stay well
Mark

My friend, bankruptcy is not the end of the world. I have done it. I had to do it. I just couldn't say no to my family when they wanted something - until I had to. I was ashamed at first, but you get a new start out of it. I feel for you. But keep your spirits up as best you can and if you so file, don't be disappointed in yourself. We all have troubles and weaknesses.
It doesn't mean you are a bad person. I am trying my hardest to come back from it myself. Do not be hard on yourself - you are one of millions who has got into too much debt, myself included.
You are a very brave man, who bares his all on WA. I wish I were so brave.
You can succeed, I know it.
Your friend
Glyn

Hi buddy old pal.
I didn't know you had one more day left in you. I'm so very glad to hear from you. I'm also very sorry that you had to endure bankruptcy also. It's not a pretty picture. Your words are very kind and caring. I'm learning from people like you that I'm not alone. Everyone has a different coping mechanism. We all have different value systems. Different hearts. I don't think I'm very brave Glyn. I think I'm just a lonely man trying to reach out and find more answers. I'm so glad to have met all of the wonderful people here at the wealthy affiliate… But you especially. If I had money to afford this myself I would also find the money to pay for you. i'm not sure what I'm supposed to learn here at the wealthy affiliate make friends, build websites, monetize them, pay it forward, teach what you've learned… Until you can't teach anymore! I will PM you my email address. Feel free to contact me anytime to chat if you wish. You're a cool guy Glyn. Nice to have met you. Talk soon
Be well and stay well
Mark

Hi again - a close friend helped me pay for another month here so I am fired up to do the best I can for the next month. Take care of yourself and just do whatever you have to do. You can make it! Glyn

I feel your pain, but I won't even look at a video with a title like that! You were successful enough to get your kids to 16. That is an achievement in itself!

You mention easy credit and I think you have learned from that. Don't berate yourself and keep focusing on the past, there is no future in that!

The power is in the doing as you rightly say, but I feel a video with that title if you need to pay for the riches promised is like easy credit - pain in the end.

Take a deep breath, do the training here, be consistent and don't get distracted . Remember why you initially joined up here!

Hi Ben… Thank you kindly for those direct and insightful words. The video was not intended to entice you into looking at it, and finding out that you might make $15,000 a month. The video .....and I'll have to go back over and read my words… Was intended only to pervade the "law of five". The process of taking five swings at a big tree every day, and collecting the days with regularity until the tree falls.

I'm well aware of the step-by-step consistent progress involved here at the wealthy affiliate. I feel the love every day. I understand the value that $47 Per month can bring, and the lessons that I can learn. Now I just have to find the money to pay for it. Thank you very much for steering me back on course. I will work very hard at trying to keep up.
Be well and stay well Ben
Mark

Apologies Mark, I misunderstood the reference to the video. I thought it was like the next shiny object to make money easily!

The law of five applies here though, be consistent and it will give the desired result.

Let me know if I can help in any way Mark!

That's no big deal Ben. No offense taken. I'm a lot luckier than most folks. I think I've only spent about $20 on shiny objects and that was about two years ago. I'll try to steer clear of them. I'll try to stay focused. i'll keep on pushing forward one step at a time. Thanks for your kind reply. Stay well
Mark

gain. I know this may sound simple. I was under bankruptcy many years back and it is easier than you think. You get a years worth of financial training. Good stuff. Creditors can no longer hound you. You can start work anywhere to make necessities and nobody can touch it. After a year all over and done with . You new life has started and people and family especially understand.
So dont be so hard on yourself and you started once before and you can do it again and be the much wiser person.
Ken

Hi Kenny… I'm always glad to hear from you. I didn't know you had gone through something similar. I live in Canada, I was told it is eight years before I can return back to any kind of a normal credit life. I would Like to look into a consumer proposal… That's an opportunity to shave off five years. I still have to pay the bastards back one third of what I owe them at best. I imagine the courts are going to catch up with me within the next 2 to 4 months. It's a little complicated but I have other things to sever before I can file for bankruptcy. It still hurts nonetheless. I shall remain strong. Scratch that… I will just keep busy.
I'm learning how to build websites and monetize them. I'm learning that I'm not alone in the world. And I'm learning how to be free with my feelings. How bad can that be? It's super nice to hear from you Kenny. Feel free to PM me if you have any bankruptcy advice. I live in Toronto, Ontario Canada. You hang in there my brother. And thank you very much for all your kindnesses.
Be well and stay well
Mark

All that kennnyb shared is very true. It's an opportunity to get a fresh start using lessons you've learned. Scale back your lifestyle to match your income. Don't even be afraid to file for unemployment and foodstamps. With regards a vehicle, look on Craigslist for "take over my payments" ads --- don't jump at the first one and be realistic about what you can afford. In my darkest hour, I took public transit for a year. BK is ultimately a clinical business decision, but unfortunately it too requires money to file a proper one, at least here in the U.S.
Feel free to PM me if you need to chat. Good luck and hang in there!

Big hugs and tons of support and good juju your way or whatever you wish to call it. You can do it. We all believe in you!

Megan

Hi Megan
I hope you're well. You're always extremely kind with your words. I hope all is well with you, and that you are feeling good. Thanks for the hugs and the reams of support. Thanks for taking the time to stop by and give me a quick read. I have every intention of going as far as I can go. No more wasted time. You are a very kind person. I can tell that. BTW… It is a juju?
Be well and stay well
Mark

Just a thought, but have you considered formulating a site to help guide others to help? When I was working, I know tons of clients had no idea they could find things like free clinics or reduced medicine costs in their area. Since you want to help those less fortunate, and that seems to be an overlooked niche, maybe it could benefit not only you, but others as well :)

Have a fantastic evening, and keep that chin up!

Megan

That is so pointed of you Megan. Over the last couple of days I've been attempting to change the name of my website and the direction in which it takes. I've been getting some clever help from a W a member. I like the idea a lot. Something that has to do with helping… Seems to be my calling. The health niche is always in need of a little old me and a new presentation. Thanks for all your kindnesses Megan. I will work very hard to keep my chin up as long as you work very hard to have a fantastic evening. Later
Mark

This hit home with me. Thank you for sharing.

I like to think of it is rounding second base. LOL amazing how ridiculous LOL sounds… When you say it after something that has to do with bankruptcy, but I'll climb out of it. It's not like I have a choice. I can't thank you enough for taking the time to read it, and say something. It was short, sweet and to the point, and very meaningful. Thank you for your kindness is.
Be well and stay well
Mark

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