Pain is Real
We all have had it or now have it. Whether it’s a headache, a heartache, a stomach ache, an ingrown toenail or far worse, none of us are immune to it.
C.S. Lewis said “Pain is God’s megaphone to get our attention!”
SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT, DEAL WITH IT!!
When I said no one is immune to pain, I was wrong. There are some people with Congenital Insensitivity to Pain, or CIP, who can feel no physical pain. This is a very serious condition and thankfully there are very few cases.
But what about other types of pain? There is pain in losing a loved one. There is the pain of neglect. There is the pain associated with divorce, both for the adults and the children affected. There is pain associated with abandonment, ridicule and poor self-worth. Does anyone you know suffer from any of those? Do you?
There are two very common coping measures;
- Drowning it with distractions. Deep seated pain could be the stimulus behind someone being a workaholic; someone who is always the life of the party; someone who needs to be in a crowd; or someone whose life is in total and constant chaos.
- Coping with pleasure. Usually this is damaging pleasure and is harmful. Among these are excessive drinking, narcotics usage, unhealthy sexual activity and body mutilations.
This time of year loneliness is especially hard. Earlier this fall a friend heard a gunshot and found her husband killed by their bipolar son who was off his medications. Police later killed him in a standoff.
A high school friend went into the hospital for a normal knee replacement. She contracted an infection and died. This was around Thanksgiving.
Today I received notice that a friend had a head on crash last night and was killed.
Pain is everywhere and unless we are aware of a person’s individual circumstances, it is easy to be oblivious to the signs.
I’m not going to give some quick fix religious platitude, because there is none that works in my opinion. But I will give some free advice on the subject.
Our church and many others I know, offer programs like geared towards loss of a loved one. There are support groups for dealing with divorce. And contrary to what modern psychology tries to tell us, divorce has a devastating effect on kids. There is even an overcoming addictions programs that deal with the root causes, not just positive thinking and affirmations.
Someone once said, “What you avoid, grows”.
Please leave a comment.
Thanks,
Dennis
Recent Comments
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Yes. We should be grateful every day when we are without pain or loss, and when we have some fun and joy. Most of us don't do that but expect that everything keeps as it is. Life is very unpredictable though.
The advice you give is: don't stay alone with your pain but find others who can lend you a hand or a shoulder. Many of us are happy to do that for others, or in private or on a professional basis.
Hello Dennis and it is part of life and the opposite of pleasure which is the way Mother Nature balances the world!
Pain is an every day things but can really be irritating those immune to it might just be suffering from a serious disorder.
You are very right Dennis! Pain is everywhere, and unless you are told by someone. Chances are you will never know that person is in pain. I live with chronic pain, but unless I tell someone or my husband has to explain why I have to go lay down for awhile. Then you would never know. No matter how badly I hurt; I work just as hard as the person next to me. I will always have a smile on my face and I am never rude. Many people look at me and then my husband and make comments like "I thought you said she was sick". You don't have to look sick or in pain to be sick or in pain! Never judge a book by its cover, because it can be very deceiving.
This was a powerful and deep post Dennis.
I had a friend say there is necessary pain and unnecessary pain. Tjis is how I see it: Necessary pain, is what we experience as we go through life, those unavoidable things (sickness, death, broken hearts, growing up, etc). The unnecessary pain, are those that come from things that we have the power to change (our words, actions and thoughts). I think about this, often, when I'm experiencing pain in my life. In some instances, we have to take ownership of the pain we're causing, whether to ourselves or others.
Thank you for sharing this post Dennis, and may your heart be comforted.
Thanks Veronica. None of the people affected by these losses are real close friend but friends none the less.
You are so right about taking ownership.
Thanks for the comment.
Dennis
I am sorry for the recent loss of so many of your friends. I am suffering from chronic nerve pain and the lose of my mum in June. I have had to seek help, so I know where are come from.
Thanks,
Gail
Gail I'm so sorry for your loss. I pray for healing from the cause of your nerve pain.
Thanks for the comments.
Dennis
The purpose of pain may very well be to grow from it. Spiritually speaking, it doesn't seem to be true we have just "one life to live" (in spite of the cliche) but multiple lives. Yet this life is the only one we have to deal with right now. I think it's easier to deal with pain when one can see there's a purpose behind it and a light at the end of the tunnel.
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Interesting thoughts Dennis.
I think we choose to experience pain when people leave our lives because we want to hold on to them. I prefer to let them go in love and gratitude for the time spent with them.
I think pain is fear based and if we can focus on love we can let go of pain. I do not want to deny that some people believe they have pain - that is up to the individual and I would not judge or criticise this.
Finally and BTW I do not believe that divorce has a devastating effect on kids - it really depends on the adults and the children. My was-band ( i don't like the word ex-husband) and I are very good friends, we went on holidays together with our son after our divorce, we celebrated birthdays and christmases together, I shared his car up to five years after our divorce, had the keys to his house, and when we visit we always stay at each other's homes. Our son has a great relationship with both of us and is a more stable, loving, caring, open individual than many of his friends whose parents have remained together "because of the children"
I certainly agree though that pain can be seen as a wake up call.
Thanks for the thought provoking article.
A Course in Miracles Lesson for today
There is another way of looking at the World".
As a whole, I disagree with you. You are 1 in a thousand and I commend you for it.
Thanks for your comments......and the new word (was-band) HA.
Dennis