What's Your Excuse?

byCashPro

588 followers

13 years ago

Repeat after me:

“I am in control, I am the master of my own fate, I am responsible for where I am right now, and where I will be tomorrow.”

Now, make this the first thought in your head when you wake up, and the last thing you say to yourself before falling asleep. To make an even faster change in your life, make it a mantra that you say to yourself as often as possible throughout the day.

Why is this so important? Because we only start to control our future when we accept our present as our own responsibility. Regardless of the ‘external forces’ you’ve use as excuses to avoid taking responsibility for your present circumstances, you are EXACTLY where all your past decisions have placed you.

Let’s look at some common excuses people use to avoid taking appropriate responsibility for their lives.

• · “My parents screwed me up.” While this might be a valid reason for you to use as a child, once you’ve begun to make your own decisions about what you want to do with your life (the beginnings of logic and planning) you are responsible for allowing that ‘reason’ to continue as a debilitating crutch, thereby turning it into an excuse. The difference between a reason and an excuse is your ability to change it. Yes, it might be difficult to change what your parents have instilled in you, but whether or not you try is your decision, not theirs.
• · “Society has made me the way I am.” Whereas it’s important to ‘play well with others’, what you privately believe is always up to you. You might think it’s perfectly acceptable to ignore the homeless person asking for money, but is that what’s really in your heart? What’s the true reason you’re not being charitable? Is it because you really don’t have the money to spare, because you find something distasteful about homeless people, or because you don’t want to look foolish or weak in front of others? Being completely clear about the reasons for your actions is the first step to taking control of them, and with it, your life.
• · “I’m too ... (old, weak, busy, poor, short, fat, etc.)” All of these are excuses. Most of them can be changed, if you really want to, and the ones that can’t aren’t important. If you look into history, there is no excuse you can think of that has stopped everyone from becoming successful. Getting past the limiting beliefs is always within your own power, whether or not you presently believe that. Again, your first step is to become consistently conscious of your thought processes. Then, you must accept responsibility for making them. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter where your processes came from, but what you choose to do about them today. Figuring out who didn’t do their dishes won’t get them washed.
• · “I’m afraid... (of the loss of my self-image, my identity, my possessions, my position in society, etc.)” We all know the story about those that become rich but are unhappy. Could this be because they made the mistake of becoming owned by their possessions? We are slaves to what we fear losing, whether it be our physical possessions, our position, our image, whatever. True control is only found when we take control back from those things we’ve allowed to control us. If you cannot live without your ‘things’, how ‘in control’ are you of your own life? Looking back into history, the evidence is there: all the true teachers of peace and happiness possessed nothing, and cared little about the general opinions of others. Many of the reasons we continue to do things we know to be bad for us are due to our established perceptions of ourselves, and the fear of losing those perceptions. Who are we if we’re not who we think we are? The unknown is always a little scary, but we forget that it just as often turns out to be wonderful, and to our advantage.

Remember, that at no time is there any blame assigned to these thought patterns. Responsibility does NOT equal fault. Accepting responsibility is about learning that you are in control of your future, not feeling bad about your past. We’ve all done things we’re not proud of, but ignoring them practically guarantees we will repeat them, if only because that’s what our brains have decided is a working solution to a particular set of circumstances. Our bad habits are only habits because we haven’t accepted a better way of dealing with that situation, and in many cases, we don’t even believe in our ability to change them, and lack of control inevitably leads to lack of confidence in ourselves and our decisions.

Responsibility is our ‘ability to respond’ effectively; to ‘react’. But, if it was not in our own control, it would not be considered an ability. As science becomes more and more advanced, we discover that what has always been considered outside our conscious control, is not, in fact. Such things as pain control, heart rate, irregular behaviour (twitches, spasms, etc.), brain wave patterns, and even the immune system all fall under the realm of our conscious influence, given patience and practice.

Understanding this, why is it so difficult to believe that we decide our own mental states and responses to any given situation we find ourselves in? The truth is, we are at the helm of our own bodies and minds, but choosing to learn how to take control and decide our direction is completely up to us.

The funny thing is, whether you decide you’re in control of your own reactions, beliefs, thought processes, etcetera or you decide to give up that control to external forces, and thus justify playing the victim, is still your decision. So, truthfully, you ARE always in control. The question is: on your journey are you just the navigator, or are you driving?

As always, it’s entirely up to you...

Light, love, and the strength to be more.

Michael B.