Four months since I was here!

byBellaCa

612 followers

8 years ago

Hi everyone,

Yes, its been a fair while and until very recently I was all set to give W.A. away . Much has transpired that's left me unable to blog, I have been clinging onto life with my fingernails.... that's all I was able to do over the last few months.

I don't want any back slaps however I am able to finally say that I'm proud of my resilience ..something I would never been able to say about myself prior to travelling this most recent bumpy bit in the road that is recovery from Narcisstic Abuse.

And I'm proud that I didn't give up on W.A.

I thought long and hard about it when doing my budget recently ....the plain facts are that right now being on Govt benefits and offering AirBnb accommodation I cannot afford to be doing WA unless I'm making some money at least .

But something in me wouldn't let it go because when the abuse was the worst W.A. kept me alive. Ill never forget the feeling of being able to escape into my room and do something that transported me away from my reality at the time.

Things got much worse before they got better and sadly I was denied my W.A. " special time".

Now I can safely say that the worst is over and my recovery has started all over again after a completely unexpected and terrifying set back. I am forever changed.

So its onward from where I left off in July but it will be steady as she goes this time rather than like a bull at a gate.

My short term memory has been badly affected by trauma to my head/brain and I've forgotten a lot of what I knew anyway so will have to refresh a lot as I go .

Can I ask that you please be patient with me if I ask things I should know, I'll get back into the swing of it over time.

Many thanks

Ros/Bella( alias)