No You Cannot do that! What? Hmmmm
Anybody ever been told "No you can't do that?"
I am guessing we all have at one time or another yes?
And look at us now. All entrepreneurs!
Wow, so much for no you can't, huh ?
Well when I was growing up, in the time before well ,everything we know now as technology, there was delineated gender roles.
Yup boys could do anything almost, but girls, welp girls not so much.
I had an adoring father who was also a bit on the patriarchal side, but probably in line with his generation. And he was so gender specific that my brothers could sit at the table while they watched me clear the table and do the dishes.
And I was as I got older, , uh uh.not a happy camper... this is not happening.
So my brothers still tease me about this. I somehow figured out how to make a quick exit to the bathroom just as dinner ended. They called it dishpan diarrhea.
But I made my point.
To me it was a conundrum. We all ate. We all help.
My Dad was not comfortable with this. Yeah, I know, no one ever promised us a rose garden Grin.
But later on it was ironic justice to me that both of my brothers had daughters!
And in those days, wow I am so old, lol. It was constant to hear, girls just don't do this or that or even try to do that.
So all of this was brought up as I was having a conversation with a friend today about how we let go of what we have heard vs what we know is the truth about ourselves.
Although I was often told no you cannot do this. Look at me now! Running my own business. (well soon it will really be a force.). lol but even so..
Here is the deal.
When we hear someone else determine what our capability and worth is it is not ours to take in. It belongs as their opinion only! We do not have any obligation to take it in. Ever!
I was told that I did not need to learn to drive or go to good schools or learn money management, because, well I would have a husband to take care of me.
Yeah, really it happened!
Wow, do you think that is why I became a strong feminist?? LOL.
My daughters are so incredibly independent and capable because I would not ever let them think they were ever less than.
So what was your stumbling block? What did you have to do to get to Wealthy Affiliate and know that you would be amazing as a CEO?
What is your YES WE CAN story?
And the best part of it is that we just let go of all of that. .because it is not the truth.
There is nothing we cannot do.
But then again, it's up to us. We are only as successful as how we choose to be, yes?
Work hard, make it happen.
We are on the NOW plan. And you know what I really resound with about the NOW plan?
IT'S ON ME!
AND WELL THAT FEELS GREAT!
Gotta go back to work now!
See you at the top!
In peace and gratitude,
Recent Comments
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I am currently living with my narcissistic, unhappy, controlling mother who likes to think she is the “authority” in our house ( that consists of me, my one year old son, my father who she verbally abused and my brother) all of us have to deal with her tantrums because she “pays the mortgage, this is MY house and if you don’t like the rules you can gtfo” just like that. Saying “this is my house so you have to listen to me or get out” is her GO TO, because she doesn’t have to think of concrete reasons for her stupid demands. The thing is she KNOWS that I am only getting welfare, she knows that I am not in a place right now where I have the option TO LEAVE. So she throws around these empty threats that she is going to kick me out, that I have ONE MONTH to figure out where me and my son are going to go.... but it’s an empty threat... still it’s VERY obnoxious to hear her bitching & complaining about things that are not problems, talking smack to all members of our household. On top of that she drinks and smokes cigarettes and is sloppy when she is drunk... UGH
So right now my Google Adsense has made me $13 this month so far.... I can *forcast* and predict that if I keep putting work in, by the end of the year I should be making Full time income that will allow me the option to MOVE OUT or pay for half the mortgage bill so that she can stfu and not threaten me to move out.... I mean, I am MISERABLE right now because I am a grown adult, stuck living with her batshit crazy mom and bc I have a baby that prevents me from just leaving and staying with a friend. I have DREAMS of being away from this place and be able to treat my son to a childhood that he deserves.
Your post really hit home because my mom is old fashioned but also very unfair and mean, and the only glimmer of hope I have of getting away from this place is here at Wealthy Affiliate
You have all the reasons in the world to make this work. You appear to be a go getter. Just do not put too much pressure onto yourself. Remain in a solution mode and when you hit a hurdle, find a solution and continue. You will succeed. You are already making some money. I admire you. Nicole
I can totally relate to your upbringing, Ariel. My brothers got to do the outside stuff and I did the household stuff. They got to play basketball on saturday's and I got to do a weeks laundry for the family. I cooked and cleaned up. I was told "girls do do that", and "don't worry your pretty little head about it", and "it's a boy thing", along with many other rather sexist comments. I grew up resenting the delineation between gender roles.
I didn't understand my mom either. She was a very strong and independent woman who had left home at 16 and refused to be pigeonholed into being a secretary or a nurse. She wanted to be a brain surgeon. She was born a generation on two too early.
But she never stood up for me and gender equality. It took a lifetime and many errors to achieve the independent nature that I now have. In a way I thank my parents for my upbringing, sexist as it was.
Here's to independence!
Candice
We may all have been told that. Even coming to WA people we know may say similar things (not people at WA). But the fact that we are here tells me that we all tend to think outside the box. I think that is one of the first steps to success. We need to think outside the box and actually start doing something about the situation--stepping out, thinking in a different way than most, doing something different and being creative with whatever skills we have.
Awesome post, Ariel. Well done for standing up for women's rights in your home at a time when most women just silently agreed to play the roles expected of them and put their own dreams aside.
Amazing to think what women have accomplished in the past century. Though sometimes I think it's a double edged sword as I see so many Mom's juggling every role now. Struggling to work and mind children and do housework and and and... More is expected of us than ever before. Time for another revolution?
When we achieve passive income with our online pursuits, balance will be restored.
I agree Lauren..somehow we lost the balance..but with any movement we have to go far to one side before we find the middle ground..yes? And as we soar to success you are so right all of this will be a moot point indeed!and what an amazing example you are. YES WE CAN!
Great post, Ariel. I remember those days when I was told I can't or shouldn't do that.....heck it came from my own father when I chose to go to college. I was the first in the family and my father was upset and asked me why I wasn't just getting a job like my older brothers. What was I trying to do be better then them???
You can do anything, Ariel and you are demonstrating that here at WA! Go girl :-)
Wayne
I was from the same generation but my parents were well past their generation. They never made a difference between children of different genders. I was the only girl in the electronic trade class at college and I drive trucks, forklifts and I even flew airplanes. I have never had any limits and I thank my family for this. Never let the environment tell you what you can do. The only person you need to prove things to is yourself. Thank you for sharing. Nicole
Hi Ariel,
I was lucky to be of a generation (and more importantly have parents) who supported me being anything I wanted to be. Of course I would drive, of course I would learn money management (they helped me set up savings accounts when I was a kid and a Roth IRA that I just cashed out last year to help buy our first house), of course I would go to college and of course I would find a career.
I grew up in the mountains in Alaska so we had to be very independent as well. We grew our food, mined our gravel and gold and made our trails, cut our firewood and building logs. Dad even had his own sawmill. There was no school (so it was homeschool for me) no roads, no utilities, no police or fire department. We had to be prepared for absolutely everything ourselves. That kind of lifestyle is a great equalizer in some ways! Everyone has to know how to survive! Dad still protected me though. I could drive a snowmachine, and even started to learn to fly the airplane but I never once held a chainsaw. It was dangerous and he just didn't want me to get hurt. I could split firewood and shoot a gun though :)
Oh Jessica I so do find you intriguing!I hope you write a book about growing up in Alaska..wow such great skills you learned and look where you are today's role model for all of us!
Thank you Ariel! I have always wanted to write a book ever since I was little reading the Little House on the Prairie books! My Mom told me I was like Laura in the books and I really took that to heart. I appreciate your support!
Jessica
Great post as always but you are asking for our personal stories aren't you?
Some time I'd be glad to do it but right now I have another post to write and someone suggested changes to humanize my eBook a bit and I haven't blogged since last Thursday. my bad. No to mention all the training I behind on. oy vey
We'll see. It seems to be getting harder to prioritize. And then there's life rearing it's time demanding head for attention. Not to mention the unending parade of WA emails .
Right now I'm trying to back up 8,000 SMS messages from my phone to my Gmail account to free up space on the phone and save them. It seemed to be humming along and then hit an error which stopped the process.
This is a powerful piece Ariel. Yes I do agree with with, sometime we have to defile the status quo. If we don't question certain opinions we become captives to those opinions and we never grow.
Playing it safe and nice isn't the best bowl of soup to go for mostly.
Thank you for the article.
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Wow! Ever since I was little, if anyone told me I couldn't do something because I was too small or because I'm a girl, I would do it anyway. Sometimes it took several times of trying and failing. But eventually I would prove that I COULD do it! I've been this way all my life. Even now, with some serious mobility issues and a long list of things that I'm not supposed to do..... I try everyday to break the boundaries of what I'm told I can't do..
-Heather