I may be a LOSER, but I am not a QUITTER!
This is something I say pretty frequently. Usually when I am cashing in $100 worth of lottery tickets for $4 in winnings...and buying another hundred worth...
Most of the time I feel pretty good about saying this. It is literally true, in the context of playing the Lottery. It creates, I think, the proper amount of tension between self deprecating humor and uncomfortable self pity. And, honestly, if you haven't heard it before, its just clever enough to be memorable and funny! Maby not "Belly Laugh Guffawing", but at least a solid chuckle!
Today, for some reason...OK, let's be honest: Today, for the reason that I turn 49 today, I have been thinking of this statement and feeling much more just like a quitter than i normally do...
My wife and I are trying to launch an internet educational product. And while my wife is both brilliant and diversely experienced, she sometimes struggles with the technology side of the internet. And so she relies on me to support that part of our effort, and I have done a very poor job today of supporting her. So we are just a bit at odds right now and it's my fault and I feel crappy about it. It makes feel like a legitimate LOSER when I can't even manage to modulate my conversation and comments so my wife doesn't' feel like she is unloved or unsmart. I feel very bad about this, and it makes want to quit...
I am mostly being honest in my profile post. Mostly. I am tired of Cable and running a company. But the other factor is that the last couple of years I have not done well in Cable. Twenty Eight years of wide reaching and deeply embedded experience and I was unable in two years to convince anyone of adequate meaning to understand the value of QC or the value of Data and the value and worth of hiring my company to provide these services to them...and I have a near literal TON of data proving how much we save, how much more plant gets built and reported, how much we are "worth". But nothing! Is it because they are simply too simple to understand a simple ROI graph? Actually, I believe it is so! Cable is chock full of really credentialed, experienced and stupid people...I sincerely believe that if I were to publish all that I know and have seen it would cause Cable companies stock to crash. But again, I'm NOT stupid...and I couldn't talk any of the stupid ones into doing things better...So again I am a loser, and that led directly to me being a quitter.
These are difficult and uncomfortable thoughts, especially on the first day of 49. So now what? So what?
Good Questions! Worthy of the consideration I have been giving them.
Have I any conclusions to my considerations of feeling like a quitter? I do...
I have decided to NOT be a quitter! I have years of time and millions of dollars more success than most of the stupid people I know in Cable! And in truth, what I did at the end of my career while being the most valuable and important thing I did...it was also the most unusual, the most difficult to understand, the one least valuable to those that were not smart enough to understand it... And in truth, I could return to Cable at any time and just focus on Construction (which is all anyone cares about right now) and continue to succeed! But I DON'T WANT TO!
I WANT to build a great website. I WANT to publish interesting blogs, and post entertaining videos and funny pictures and great value offers. I want to work as hard as I need to so that I can ultimately earn significant income passively, and focus on enjoyable activities, like travel, cooking, wine, and playing with my weiners...(Serenity and Dolce, my little wiener dog shaped hearts).
Why do I share this with you? Well, firstly, it is cathartic to write, regardless of audience. But more importantly, it is because many of you are on this journey with me. I KNOW that many of you have wondered at your worth..at your value. Many of you have been quitters. From your job. Or your relationship. Or you haven't felt worthy.
And I also KNOW that many of you have found purpose here at WA. That you have thrown yourselfs into creating your future on the internet, utilizing all the tools and training here at WA. And while I don't think that an Internet Marketing site is providing for all you emotional needs, in truth how we earn a living is central to how most of us see ourselves. And the forum; the community at WA...I have NEVER seen or belonged to as committed, active, helpful a community forum as WA. I DO believe that like me, it has given you purpose and belonging. It has all made you feel less like a loser...Like you ARE NOT A QUITTER!
Know that I understand. Know that I know that you understand. And Everyone please know that I am not a loser. That I most certainly am NOT A QUITTER!
Best Success to you ALL.
Wolfegrade.
ed wolfe, highlands ranch colorado july 14 2016.
Recent Comments
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Ed I don't think you are a loser at all. Those others are and they could be among the companies who go belly up for not listening to your good advice and taking advantage of it. As for your relationship with your wife, she too has probably been frustrated too. As long as you make up as soon as possible. Understanding is part of any relationship. Oh dear I am sound philosophical aren't I. Must stop that.
Cute Dachsies too.
Thank you, sir. The road is long but the journey fulfilling, and I certainly have many more destinations to visit before I'm done!
I appreciate your thoughts.
Ed
life will always through us challenges so we do need to develop some true grit as they say, we only ever become a loser when we give up and it seems to me you are still pushing ahead, thank you for sharing your insights wish you every success with the road ahead
Life has a way of getting to all of us, (read my recent posts!) and making us feel like we should give up, because it's all too hard. BUT, never, ever give up on your dreams, because if you do, you will feel even worse in a year from now.
Lovely dogs by the way! :)
I didn't like dogs for much of my adult life...I spent so many years as a field tech installing/repairing cable...so many dog chews, jumping, barking, poo, etc.
Then I had a chance to hang out all night with a friend's awesome little mini weiner. She was awesome! somewhere in there I realized I like dogs fine...what I don't like are people that don't take care of their dogs!
took me another year, but one day I saw Serenity on a petfinders page at a rescue about 4 hrs away... it was love at first site. I told my wife I was driving there on the weekend to get my dog... I NEVER "tell" my wife anything! I always request, discuss, negotiate, etc. But this time it was tell! I told her also she could come with me if she wanted...
A year later we went to a rescue only an hour away to get me another dog! We went inside and two minutes later, while I was still schmoozing the rescue manager, my wife reaches down and picks up the tiny tan runt, looks at me and says: "MINE". And that was that!
Changed my life. I became much happier, less angry, more accepting. they are awesome!
Black and Brindle = Serenity
Tan and White = Dolce (Her littermate sister was adopted by or neighbors and we named her Lechi)!
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This is rather a late reply but happy belated birthday wishes and a great blog too. xx