Stop Comparing Yourself

Last Update: Jul 16, 2022

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Do you ever find yourself comparing yourself to other people? If you're willing to admit it, you're not alone.

People seem to have an innate ability to compare themselves. And in a world full of social media where we are constantly made aware of how fabulous everyone else's lives are, it can be a problematic pitfall.

This behavior is nothing new. In fact, back in 1954 a psychologist named Leon Festinger believed that humans decide their own social and personal value based on social comparisons.

I'm not sure if I would entirely agree with that, but it is an engaging question.

Comparing ourselves is something that we may not even be aware that we are doing. These comparisons can relate to almost any aspect of life: parenting, business, attractiveness, money, education, weight, and more.

We Know We Shouldn't Compare But...


Sometimes we may unwittingly compare ourselves to someone who has more than us or seems more successful.

That can lead to feelings of jealousy and frustration.

The comparison trap may even be used to boost our self-esteem. This can result in subconsciously putting others down in order to feel better about ourselves.

Comparing ourselves can have dire effects on our well-being.

If you feel stuck in comparison, then seeing and hearing about what others have over you can lead to frustration, anxiety and feelings of failure.

Unconsciously, by staying trapped in that mindset, we can take it out on others and ourselves.

How To Break Free

Becoming aware is the first step to make any change in your life.

Once you realize what you are doing, you can take steps to adjust your behavior.

Always tune in to gratitude and realize that you are and have everything you already need.

Take time to appreciate the beauties in your life (big or small).

Realize there is no such thing as perfection. Resist the attraction to the shiny object.

You can change your thoughts. This may sound corny and cliche, but when you learn to really turn off certain thoughts, it is extremely freeing.

Dial into a thought that makes you happy. Choose your own personal message.

Get active to shift your thoughts and feelings...this is incredibly powerful!

Lastly, detach from the comparison trap because it leads to nothing but unhappiness and disappointment. Unplug, disconnect, remove yourself.

Once you learn to let go, you will realize what a waste of time it is to compare yourself to others. You are unique and so is your journey, so embrace it. Be kind to yourself.

After all, there is really nothing to be gained by getting stuck in comparison.

Have a wonderful weekend,

Susan

Recent Comments

50

Good message. Yes, especially when I was young, I was always comparing myself...have pretty much given up that behavior. Sometimes just aging can change some perspectives that need to change.

Your suggestions for breaking free are very good. That last one...learning to let go...is one that continues throughout life. I have been thinking that when it's finally time for me to leave the planet, I need to just accept it and let go. Not easy. Worth practicing ahead of time...the letting go part, not the planet-leaving part...

So nice to hear from you, Fran. Glad you enjoyed the post. Letting go is something I try to work on as well...some things in particular are just very difficult to accept. Aging is one for sure! My closest family is all elder, and it's hard to watch what they go through. Time helps us practice. Thanks so much for your thoughts.

Hello Susan,

I think that humans innately compare, I think that is simply a human trait.

What I do think is that certain companies over the time since the TV were introduced that people really bought into the whole complex world of consumerism.

And companies are always studying the natural behaviour of humans comparing themselves to see what next they can sell them, to increase their social status.

I do believe that Kings and Queens would acquire certain talents from the clan or community to help build their social status.

Even in the artist community, back in the 1800's certain artists that had discovered new dimensions of painting were revered in society.

I really appreciate you raising this topic.

I honestly think the comparison trait in humans it is a phenomenon since the dawn of time.

But as we evolve as a human race there is certainly a move and push toward equality and respecting diversity, embracing social differences.

Huge topic Susan, thanks so much I actually do a lot of thought-moving. Literally, tell myself to stop and move to another desired thought.

I know we are all absolutely unique and special in every individual way. I am glad that there is more awareness around social inclusion and human rights to be who you want to be without judgement.


Much appreciation

Kind regards
Erica

Hi Erica...thank you so much for bringing up so many valid points! I tend to agree that this is a human trait, just as that it was coined "social comparison theory" in 1954.

Consumerism and technology have certainly ignited this fire over time. I think it's getting worse with social media and the 24/7 ability for people to see the cherry-picked best of others online. I like your suggestion of thought-moving.

You've raised some great things...I may have to revisit this topic later on. Thanks so much for sharing your thoughts.

Warm wishes,
Susan

Thanks so much, Susan, I happen to agree with you about so many cherry-picking people's social media online.

Appreciate your points

Kind regards my friend

Erica

Social media has made it even worse as people elaborate on who they are, what they do and where they live etc.
People see what others write and wish they were that person doing what they are doing and most of it is not true…just a embellishment of their life. So I gave up comparing myself to others quite a while ago.
And, you are correct, it is a waste of time. Learn to love yourself,warts and all. Those warts and wrinkles are yours and you have earned them. Great post Susan.

Thanks

Stephen

Hi Stephen...you are so right. It is constant. Social media can be damaging, especially to young kids. Thank you so much for this! I completely agree with your perspective. You've said it so well..."love yourself, warts and all." That's so spot on. I gave up on it a long time ago as well. Maybe it's something that just gets easier with age. Hope you are keeping well :-)

Fabulous post!

Thank you for sharing.

It took me many years to break the cycle of comparing.

My daughter had it bad when she was in middle school.
She almost sent me to the poor house comparing me with the parents of her bougie friends.

A good therapist took care of that.
He even suggested that she get a job.
As for me, I try to stay in my lane.

This is why our youth are being sidetracked by social media.

Bless their heart.

Rachele

Thank you, Rachele! I appreciate you sharing your experience. In our current time, it is especially hard for younger people to not compare themselves but the sooner they learn, the better is it to break out of that cycle. Have a super day.

Absolutely, west2000

Rachele

Excellent read, Susan
I've known of many cases where people compare themselves to others.

Admittedly, I've never done this. I am always of the belief that if there are some things that I would love , own or be, it is possible for me to either work towards it, buy it or get the necessary qualifications to get there.

That's the way, my siblings are as well because that's the way we were taught to think, act and believe.

Awesome advice and recommendations you've stated, Susan
Your post is very informative and I enjoyed reading.

Thank you so much, Simone. That is lovely of you to say! You definitely have the right attitude in believing you are the captain of your own ship. That's an excellent way to look at it, and so wonderful you were taught that as it's not always everyone's case. Comparison can be difficult for many to overcome, if they are even aware of it lol. Hope you are well :-)

Yes, comparison and jealousy walk hand in hand :)
Mom taught us well

I'm still hard at work :)
Great connecting with you again

Absolutely...so good to hear. Is your launch this coming week? Great connecting! 😊

That's the plan :)

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