S is for STOP arguing, accusing and blaming.

byVinceDaCosta

163 followers

9 years ago

The “S” in the SALT strategy is probably the most important part of SALT. It is very important in forming the positive climate that encourages others to want to help, support or agree with your point of view.

S TOP arguing, accusing and blaming. Build a receptive climate.”

A CKNOWLEDGE show respect for the other person’s opinion

L ISTEN Ask open ended questions

T ALK Emphasize issues on which you agree

Winning an argument is nearly always a bad thing. Dale Carnegie in his famous book “How to win friends and influence People” maintained that you should not try to win an argument. He suggested that if you win it, you lose it, and if you lose it, you lose it. Winning an argument means that you have probably succeeded in proving your opponent’s points are wrong. You will feel good about that, but your opponent will feel inferior and a loser. Carnegie goes on to suggest that “a man/woman convinced against their will, is of the same opinion still.” Really, you have created an enemy, or at least a reluctant supporter, when you win an argument. What you need are friends and supporters to succeed. I learned early in life that arguing usually created antagonism and negative feelings on the other side. I stopped arguing.

Blaming others is another bad habit that helps to build a negative, destructive climate. It’s called “The blame game”. Always looking for someone else to blame for the problems we created for ourselves by building negative climates. It’s easy to start blaming others because so many around us are doing just that. A sign of maturity is the willingness to accept responsibility for your mistakes and accept the consequences, which quite often is respect for your honesty.