My SECRET is out!
In 20+ years of marriage I've never kept anything of this magnitude hidden from my husband. I didn't tell my husband I'd started my own business almost a month ago. I pulled it all off by working when he left for work. I'm not endorsing doing this but merely sharing my story, so don't judge! Ha!
I'll share a little history. Since we've been married I've streamed my hubby along every business idea and venture I could think of. He finally blesses these adventures after much talk and more talk, but still with a lot of skepticism.
He is a true skeppy and interested in nothing but the end results....the $$$$$$$$$$$$$. I on the other hand am the risk taker. I'm willing to give things a try. My only problem is usually not knowing when to walk away from something that isn't working, so you can trust we balance each other very nicely!
Reasons I didn't tell him about me getting started with WA:
- I wanted to get started (IMMEDIATELY) writing to prove to myself I could be sucessful
- It would take him 30 days or more to decide whether he would support me or not
- I wanted to "show him the "$$$" proving that it really works.
- He would really be a skeppy knowing the required (monthly) $$$
- He would agree it is the worst time to take MORE $$$ out of our budget
I finally (gently) broke the news over the weekend. I told him, "I was working!" He was pretty excited to know more. I told him, "I write." He didn't know what to think. Finally we discussed the entire deal.
I could see "skeppy" rearing its ugly head. He wasn't thrilled at all of the monthly premium. Neither was he happy that I wouldn't receive revenue for sometime.
I prefaced all of that by asking him to trust me. I gave him a little more info and IM revenue scenarios. He agreed to trust me. I actually think he's afraid it might work!!! Ha! I showed him some of my work and accomplishments and he was happy for me.
Was starting a business without telling my spouse a good move? I know my husband well enough to know he'll never initiate something like this. However, when it works he'll become my walking business card!!!
Would I do it again? Only if it was me starting WA. However I didn't feel good about keping it from him.
Here is what I suffered because I was not upfront:
- Celebrating my triumps alone (published articles, increasing rank, emails from WA, Kyle, liked comments)
- Stress from not sharing openly - am I being dishonest???
My husband was mainly sore because I didn't talk with him before getting started. I understood that and knew he would be. I also shared openly why I didn't. I think he understands that too.
Now I have the pressure of working until I make some $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$!!!
Anyone had experiences like this? Please share!
Tina
Recent Comments
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Well I must say this is a blessing to know that I'm not the only one hideing ! My wife knows that I am working on WA but the hiding is the fact I told her that out was free so she don't ask questions. But I did go to the premium! I want out of this it's to prove my self that all my ventures are not crashed. And I do believe this will work!
My kids and extended family know nothing. Nor will they until I have my website or websites built. I know them all very well. I don't need that sort of negativity in my life and if the truth be known it really is none of there business. I have my own money and I will spend it as I see fit and more important is that, I am happy. Happy with WA and what I am learning......this is a huge draw for me. They would nag about the risks they think are involved. All I have to say to that is life wouldn't be life if there were no risks involved. Getting on my rank ex - racehorse, turned jumper.......well now there is a risk. lol Much happiness to you Tina.
Sincerely, Virginia
Hi Virginia, Good for you! You're doing what makes you happy! Sometimes that just doesn't make sense to others, but that's ok! Tina
Hi Tina,
Your story sounds quite a bit like mine. I did mention it to my husband when I started out as a Starter member, but I neglected to say anything about joining the Premium membership six or seven day later. I told him it was free to start and he never really asked if it costs anything later, so I never said anything about the Premium membership price. Sure, I felt a bit sneaky, but otherwise I knew I'd hear him complaining about it since we're short on money a lot of times.
Since I'm always the one to take care of all the bills and finances, he usually says "well, if that's what you really want then get it as long as we can pay the bills." So, that's what I did.
Now, I'm thinking he probably knows I'm spending something here besides time, lol, since he did mention me "spending money every month for my online stuff" when he was a bit crabby when he couldn't get access to Netflix, which was due to a security issue with our credit card. I got that fixed in a hurry, haha!
I'm thinking since I share WA blogs on FB and of course my hubby is one of my FB "friends" he must have checked it out and figured knowing me as well as he does that I must've joined the Premium membership. Although he has been quite supportive with it for the most part, since every time I write something for my site or Street Articles he does "like" and share it on FB.
I guess since he hasn't asked how much I spend for my membership, I just haven't told, lol. Since we sort of have an agreement that we both deserve to be able to spend some money on ourselves, I don't feel too guilty about not really telling him how much I pay for Premium. It's about the only thing I do spend money on for myself anyways.
So, I can certainly understand where you're coming from Tina! Best wishes! -Sherry
I told my husband to save all his change each week towards my membership. He was pretty agreeable to that.I'm really pushing to keep that going, because if we come up short I know that'll be the first thing he'll try to cut! ha! ha!
I think we all do the same thing at times. I am not married but I have a dear friend (I actually think of him as my partner). Anyways I just finally told him a day ago and I have been here over a week. It is my money to spend so he does not say much. I just gave him the link to my website to see what he thinks. It is hard not to share your successes and what you have learned. Now I am able to talk with him about what I am doing. I wish you the best.
Thanks for chiming in. You know your friend best. I'm happy to hear he's supportive. Perhaps he'll become part of the community one day! Tina
You asked "Anyone had experiences like this? Please share!" OK, I will!
Our stories are so similar I thought I was reading my own story! The details aren't the same, of course, but still - - - . I am you in your story. I'm the risk-taker. Not only willing to try something but, unfortunately, willing to put out a big chunk of money we didn't have. I like to think I've learned my lesson, but my wife has trust issues because of what I've done financially in the past.
For us, we've worked out an agreement where I can spend "my" money on what I want. Which right now is WA. Unlike your situation, my wife doesn't understand that it takes time to build an income producing business. She expects to see results (i.e., $$$$) in a month or two. For most, it just doesn't happen that way. It takes longer.
When she sees the $$$$, especially on a consistent basis, I'm pretty positive she will change her mind. But until then it will be a challenge to do my mystery shopping AND work on WA. In her mind (at least right now) WA is a "waste of time". So pray that I will be able to succeed as quickly as possible.
Thanks for listening. I enjoyed sharing. Keep in touch and let me know what's happening!
Bill
Hi Bill, very excited you could relate! I know all about the mindset of "waste of time"! Thank God we see the real value! I'm praying and pullin for you! Tina
I joined without breaking it to the current Mrs Dean. Or to be more accurate, I became a Premium member without telling her.
I'd joined as a starter and fell in love. It was a meeting of minds. The fact that I knew I would inevitably join after even a few hours was just something she didn't need to be concerned about. I protected her. I saved her grief. I saved me grief. OK, I really, really saved me grief.
I talked her around the site and showed her the potential and how it could affect us later on. I told her I wouldn't be making money for a year. In fact, I've made a year's membership costs already, but I didn't know that then. She approved; it was free, so why not?
Day 6: one day of the reduced first month fee offer to go. I pulled the trigger. $47 sounds better in English - £31. $19 sounds even better in English, around £12.
I told her I'd spent £12.
"Hmmmm..." she said.
She has a pretty high-powered job in aviation, working all over Europe ensuring that the logistics of building commercial airliners across several different sites in several countries hangs together. It also means she's not dumb.
So she knows, and she knows how much effort I'm putting in and can see how it MUST eventually click together. Who dares wins. I'm daring.
I can now share in my little successes with a clear conscience. As for you
Tinamarie, you must have been busting, holding it all in, and as someone who only did it for a couple of days, you have my admiration.
Hi Paul, I was about to bust at the seams! I'm sooooo relieved its out! My daughters are ooh and ahing over everything. I love how you converted your dollar. Pretty sneaky! Tina
It's a judgement call. You made the call in the way you saw fit. I haven't discussed the details or monthly costs to anyone. Skepticism is rampant. I mentioned only a community of like minded people I interact with. No mention of cost came up, so I didn't volunteer the info.
Tina, I didn't tell anyone, bar my daughter until yesterday. Scepticism. I knew I was doing the right thing. I just couldn't be bothered having to argue why I wanted to WASTE my cash. He he. Good for you!
You're so right. Its your cash! You'd be wasting time arguing when you could be working :-}! Tina
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I understand why you did what you did. I always keep such things a secret so I will not be swayed by those with a strong influence on me. If I try something and it's not for me I get out fast.
When I find something good like WA I announce my actions once I've taken action and seen results.